Cassandra Clare - Blog Posts
12 years old Emma: By the angel, Jace is so cool!
*meanwhile*
Jace: There’s no water in this bottle
Alec: You have to open it first, Jace
Cameron: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Julian: Good. I hope you stay there for the rest of your life.
*Emma walks in*
Julian: oH mY gOD! CaMeRon, aRE yOu oKAy? wHAt happened tO yOu?
Kit: sometimes I talk to myself for no reason
Kit: me too
Kit: You’re like a budget Chris Evans
Jace: I’m taking that as a compliment
Kit, squinting: Like… a two cents budget
Mark: Justice is best served cold
Mark, giggling: Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater
Julian: Is that some kind of aftereffects from fairyfruit you ate or do I need to get sanitizer?
Okay, I'm going to say this once and for all,
Kit Herondale is canonically bisexual! He is attracted to both girls and boys.
If I see YET ANOTHER comment on "iT's nOt hIs GiRlfrIenD bUt bOyfrieNd!!" I'll scream.
It's possible that Kit may have a boyfriend that Tessa is unaware of, BUT it is also possible for Kit to have a girlfriend.
BUT CAN Y'ALL PLEASE STOP STRAIGHT-WASHING KIT OR HATING ON HIS POTENTIAL GIRLFRIEND??
If this isn't biphobia, I don't know what is!
Matthew: My life is like a romantic comedy
Matthew: Except there’s no romance. It’s just me laughing at my own jokes
Jem: It took me 28 minutes and a lot of tears, but I can now almost use a computer
Actual friendly reminder that Magnus (and apparently Alec too) reads comics and is probably part of the MCU fandom
Kit: The opposite of Microsoft Office is Macrohard Onfire
The whole institute: STOP
Alec:
Jace: What are you talking about?-
Jace, a second later:
Alec: Hey, you know what?
Kit: What?
Alec: I don’t know, I’m bad at conversation starters
Tessa: You have really pretty eyes
Will, suspiciously: Thank you…?
Tessa: *leans in slowly*
Will: NO! You can’t have them!
Tessa:
Emma, holding Church: If you don’t kiss your cats on their soft little foreheads, what are you even doing?
Alec, looking at Chairman Meow: Yelling at them for trying to eat plastic
Will, singing Welsh songs:
Ragnor:
Ragnor:
Ragnor: do you take any requests?
Will: oh sure!
Ragnor: Please stop
Will: “You are a beautiful and intelligent person of many talents.”
Will: These fortune cookies are incredibly accurate!
Gabriel: Mine just says “wipe your nose”
Jem: William, this is clearly your handwriting
Lucie: Ok, you need to start telling me why-
Grace: It’s better if I don’t tell you
Lucie: Better for who? Cause I’m not loving it. Friends, we tell each other things. There’s an exchange of information, leading to intimacy.
Grace:
Lucie: OK. Sometimes, when I’ve run out of toilet paper, I use sliced bread to clean myself. If I run out of that, I use slices of ham. It’s like a poor man’s wet wipe. I’m sharing that with you.
Grace, horrified: I really wish you hadn’t
Jem, on the verge of tears: You bought me a present?
Kit: Oh, I wouldn’t say “bought” exactly… Let's say I obtained.
Jem, to the fire alarm: How could you be beeping? I just disconnected you. I took out your battery! How could you-
Fire Alarm: Beep
Jem: Don’t interrupt me
The Shadowhunters Chronicles x Brooklyn 99
Idk why I made this but enjoy ig
Matthew Fairchild:
Matthew Fairchild:
Isabelle lightwood:
Anna Lightwood:
Christopher lightwood:
Cecily: Will is in trouble again!
Gabriel: Yeah, well, I broke my leg… what did he do?
Cecily: He hit someone with a car. How did you break your leg?
Gabriel: … sOMEoNe hit me with a car
Will, in the background: Lightworm, are you coming or not? I don't care, but I'm going to pay the Silent City a visit now, with or without you.
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Will: I was BORN a winner! I didn’t even need nine months to be born, I came out in seven!
Jem: That’s… that’s not good…
Kit: My life has just kinda gone downhill since the day I found out that it wasn’t actually Zac Efron singing in High School Musical
Mark: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASN’T ZAC EFRON SINGING?!
Demon: You'll run away if you're smart
Matthew: WELL I'M NOT!
Matthew: Running away I mean.
Matthew: I'm smart.
Kit, holding a baby carrot like a cigarette: I’m just… over it, you know?
Imagine not praying to James Carstairs every night... couldn't be me 🙏🏼
Jem: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it can do to your body!
Kit: It gets rid of the rust
Jem: That’s not how it works…
Kit: Well, I’ve been drinking soda all my life and my body is rust free… not sure where you’re getting your facts from.
Will: Octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because Raziel bless them with the ability to do so. However, they don’t hug even one person because they made a covenant with the devil. Any questions?
Matthew, raising his hand: Where’s Lucie? I just wanted to visit her-
Will: In a better place, now sit down immediately.