Jem: It took me 28 minutes and a lot of tears, but I can now almost use a computer
Will: “You are a beautiful and intelligent person of many talents.”
Will: These fortune cookies are incredibly accurate!
Gabriel: Mine just says “wipe your nose”
Jem: William, this is clearly your handwriting
Cecily: Will is in trouble again!
Gabriel: Yeah, well, I broke my leg… what did he do?
Cecily: He hit someone with a car. How did you break your leg?
Gabriel: … sOMEoNe hit me with a car
Will, in the background: Lightworm, are you coming or not? I don't care, but I'm going to pay the Silent City a visit now, with or without you.
Imagine not praying to James Carstairs every night... couldn't be me 🙏🏼
Jem: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it can do to your body!
Kit: It gets rid of the rust
Jem: That’s not how it works…
Kit: Well, I’ve been drinking soda all my life and my body is rust free… not sure where you’re getting your facts from.
Group: *arguing*
Will: Calm down, you idiots wanna hear my plan or not?
[silence]
Will: That’s what I thought. So, make suggestions.
Tessa: But we thought you had a plan?
Will: MY plan is to crowdsource a plan, now it’s your turn
Jem: Please, don’t make fun of me if I misuse outdated cultural references, okay? Are we cowabunga on this?
Kit, about to cry: Yeah, we’re cowabunga on this
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
*Jem giving Kit a present*
Jem: Happy birthday, Kit! I hope you love it. I’m sorry I couldn’t find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred-dollar bills.
Kit: I love it already
Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far
Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER
Will: I don’t play favorites
[at the dinner table]
Tessa: Jem, can you pass the salt-
Will: Seriously, Tess! What the hell? You really have the audacity to doubt my beloved Jem’s ability to pass the salt? Let me tell you, James Carstairs is a GOD and he can do everything he sets his beautiful mind to, okay? Never let me hear you say such things again!
Tessa:
Jem:
Charlotte:
Church:
Will, sighing: I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Jem. Just so you know I’m here for you and I love you
Tessa: Happy Birthday, Will! I got you a present!
*Jem walks through the door*
Will: OHMYGOD you got me JEM?
Tessa: No, no. It’s this book-
Will, through tears: HE’S PERFECT, TESSA, I LOVE HIM! Thank you!
Jem: Netflix lied to me
Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side
Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.
Jem:
Jem:
Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy
Jem: Well, I did warn you
Will: Yes
Jem: But did you listen?
Will: No
Jem: Do you ever listen?
Will: No
Jem: Are you listening now?
Will: … no
Jem: Are you staring at my arse right now?
Will: N- yes
Jem: …
Will: In my defense it’s a nice arse.
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake
Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!