Jem, to the fire alarm: How could you be beeping? I just disconnected you. I took out your battery! How could you-
Fire Alarm: Beep
Jem: Don’t interrupt me
Matthew: So, I was watching my dog chase its tail for 30 minutes and thought “Wow, animals are easily entertained.”
Matthew: But then I realized I was watching my dog chase its tail for 30 minutes.
Police Officer: Turn around
Matthew: 🎵 Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never comin’ round 🎵
Police Officer: TURN AROUND
Matthew: 🎵 Every now an-
Matthew: *gets tased*
*Jem giving Kit a present*
Jem: Happy birthday, Kit! I hope you love it. I’m sorry I couldn’t find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred-dollar bills.
Kit: I love it already
Jem: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan
Will: We attack Mortmain with hummus
Jem: I stand corrected
Airport security: No liquids allowed
Matthew: oh, ok
Matthew: *starts gulping it down*
James: Uhh, Matthew, you don’t have to drink-
Matthew: *dedicated to finishing bottle*
Airport security: You know, usually people just leave the shampoo behind but what do I know…
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
James: But I can't go outside. I'm allergic to pollen and social situations.
Cordelia: I made a marshmallow Alastair, see? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it?
Alastair, clearly emotional: It’s okay
Jem: Please, don’t make fun of me if I misuse outdated cultural references, okay? Are we cowabunga on this?
Kit, about to cry: Yeah, we’re cowabunga on this
Why pick one favorite character when you can simply adopt every single one of them (except for the Dearborns, they go straight into the trashcan)?
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