Tw Depressing Stuff - Blog Posts
WHY CAN'T I FUCKING CUT MYSELF?? WHY CAN'T I SLICE MY SKIN AGAIN LIKE I USED TO?! I'M GETTING FUCKING TIRED OF THESE DISABILITIES, SEIZURES AND OTHER SHIT. I JUST WANNA BE HEALTHY OR ALLOWED TO MUTILATE MY BODY. I WANT TO HAVE THE CONTROL I LOST.
you seem cool :3 doing ok ?
Thanks!:33 To be honest I'm something in between relapsing and feeling apathetic, haha... I guess I'll just wait a bit until I feel better instead of cutting
Fuck recovery. I wanna cut.
I want to kill myself because of being disabled. I'm a fucking mess right now. I feel grief, frustration and hopelessness. I wish I could cut myself again.
I'm so fucked up with these diseases thing. Everyone is taking in my disability first instead of my personality. Everyone wants only to discuss my disease instead of my new hobby. Maybe I'm really just a code in ICD... Ehh... Why can't I throw away my feelings and just accept the fact of me being a living movement disorder.
WAR IS OVER
The fact that something could go wrong, and I'd have committed su!c!de already, scares me shitless. I have no fucking idea how I managed to not commit with constant su!c!dal thoughts, but I've managed.
Why can't I just give up and stop visiting doctors and let myself rot until it's too late? I feel like I'm already starting to decompose, just leave me alone, so I can rot
Some people are just: "we're tolerant! we would never bully or laugh at anyone!"
And then they see a disabled person, and start to laugh at them, or say "you're just pretending!" shit
When people are saying that I'm sick, I don't really want to admit it. I don't feel like I'm suffering enough, like, c'mon... Isn't the word sick means just something more hard to bear? I'm literally doing nothing, but laying in bed and complaining about how hard my illness is, while I still can walk and do some things... Jeez, how tired I'm of these physical conditions...
Having a serious disease is just like:
"Oh, that's just an illness and I don't need to feel guilty because of it, because I can't control it"
And then:
"FUCK, HOW MUCH I HATE MYSELF, I CAN'T DO BASIC THINGS, I'M ALWAYS ISOLATED, MY DISEASE JUST BECAME A MEME, WHY DO I HAVE IT??? JUST WHY?? IS THAT I DESERVE??? WHY I SHOULD I LOVE MYSELF WHILE EVERY FUCKING SECOND I'M WASTING AWAY??!"
why does nobody represent physical illnesses?? I mean... Most people don't know what cerebral paralysis, epilepsy, etc are, and in the end laughing at it, or saying stupid and disrespectful things about it. I think we should spread awareness about physical illnesses, because they're hard to deal with alone, and also could lead to a mental illness. Please, someone, spread awareness about physical health...
HOLY HELL, FINALLY A MONTH WITHOUT SELF-HARM, DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS, AND URGE TO SU!C!DE, INTERESTING, WILL I GET 2 MONTHS???
People are being "Vent to me if you want!" and then block you when you did so
"Dad issues"
"Mommy issues"
Nah-uh, I'm the issue
Guys, I couldn't kill myself, please forgive me for causing distress and worrying y'all:(
Also sorry for people who expected/wanted me to kms, I just couldn't... I'm really sorry, hope I could do it soon
I wanna comm!t su!c!de on my birthday. I'll be free. I'll get rid of the pain. And when I do it, everyone will be happy.
I'm sorry mom for being a bad daughter. I'm sorry for the bad grades, but now... You don't need to worry about them<3
19.03.2024.
TW: Bl00d!!
Don't report, just block if you're sensitive towards sh and bl00d. Hope you're okay, because usually these kinds of posts are watching people who are struggling with sh.
Help your child before it's too late.
(The bl00d looks so faky tbh. Probably because my phone is making everything brighter:/)
My birthday will be in 2 days, yet I still have suicidal thoughts, and desire to cut myself:/
Never expected to stay clean(?) for 14 days... Well, how to say clean.... If I can't cut, I'll beat, bite, and burn myself, just because it gives me more pleasure. And I bit myself so hard that there are bruises left after that
I'm so sad about the fact that my knife can't cut me deep because it starts to hurt so much... I wish it didn't hurt, so I could cut myself to fat!!!
I'm already looking forward to cut myself and just the thought of cutting makes me all flustered!!
I wish, one day on maths lesson I could stand up, and stab myself!!!
I'm f#cked up.
I'm tired, I'm tired of everything. All my hobbies became a daily routine, and I don't feel anything towards them. My friends started to avoid me after my vents, and I completely understand this. I'm tired of school, and I haven't got any straight to just get up or change clothes after school. All I think about is s3lf-h@rm and how much I want to commit su!c!de. I feel like my life is trying to force me to do it. I feel like it'll happen. And I know that I will commit su!c!de.
I was about to jump off the window right now, but remembered that I'm living on the 3rd floor, so even if I jump, I'll survive. But this window is almost telling me to commit su!c!de!!
I tried to k!ll myself by cvtting my veins, but the saddest thing is that the knife didn't reach them.
TW/CW: SU!C!DE
Can't describe how much I want to commit su!c!de. Just the thought of my body laying in the snow, which soaked with my bl00d, while my phone recording me and thousands of people could see how I struggled makes my desire only bigger. Looks like I'll end up jumping off the roof... Anyways who cares...
TW: CW: SU!C!DE PLAN.
Okay, okay... I think I've suffered enough, so... This is how I wanna end my life.
Firstly, I've decided that I wanna jump off the roof, because this seems the best way to do it. I already found a high-rise building, so I just need to come in, and when I wait for people to open the door for me, I'll start a livestream. Before I jump, I'll cvt myself, and I'll cvt so much that I'll be a piece of meat. After that I'll jump off the roof, hoping that someone will remember me. I'll also wear my favorite clothes, because if die I'd prefer to die only in it.
I love the fact that with this thing I could cut myself at school and nobody will care!!♡♡
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