Never Expected To Stay Clean(?) For 14 Days... Well, How To Say Clean.... If I Can't Cut, I'll Beat,
Never expected to stay clean(?) for 14 days... Well, how to say clean.... If I can't cut, I'll beat, bite, and burn myself, just because it gives me more pleasure. And I bit myself so hard that there are bruises left after that
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It's kinda interesting, how Tumblr randomly stopped recommending my posts. Kinda feel useless without likes, lol
I don't wanna get help anymore.
I have no idea why, but everyone became so supportive out of blue... Literally, my parents started talking about that I need a psychologist, and that they'll bring me to them. My classmates let me vent out, and gave me support, but the problem is... I don't want help anymore. I already made my decision. But the worst thing is.... I relapsed. But, sometimes I think, what's happening with me? Why I feel like this and etc. But I just started to think that's just a phase, hormones or something... Even though I have it for 3 years, Lol
Sometimes, I think that it'd be better, if I'd be a man. I could look like I want, I wouldn't have boobs, and periods, and people would see in me personality, not just boobs and vagina. I hate fact of being girl. I hate fact of that people will refer to me as she/her even when I told them to refer me as they/them/it/its.
I'm afraid that I won't pass my exams... In 9 grade, I'll have exams, which will help me to go in 10 grade, but... I have serious issues with maths... I'm afraid that if I won't pass it, I'll go and commit suicide. Somewhere, deep, in my soul, I don't want die cuz of it. But I feel like I will and like I should.
But... Even if I'll commit suicide, people will just forget me, and I'll be just a random kid, that made grave for themselves. I... I have no idea what to do...
I want to kill myself because of being disabled. I'm a fucking mess right now. I feel grief, frustration and hopelessness. I wish I could cut myself again.
DAMN, I WANNA TELL TO SOMEONE ABOUT MY AU SO HARD LIKE... PROJECT SEKAI × VITA CARNIS!! This is actually the first project I've been working on enthusiastically...
People are being "Vent to me if you want!" and then block you when you did so
I wish, I could just die and don't suffer anymore, fuck my life
I wish I was hated in all my social media, so I could cut myself, not thinking about that someone is caring for me.
The guilt after getting ill is consuming me away. I wish, I was able to change or heal.
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A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
171 posts