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drarry social media au (that no one asked for) part 12/ ?

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@dreamerkx2 don’t you say that’s not me

Draco, monologuing: I am evil, I am darkness, people should quake at my presence. No human being could come close to the amount of evil in my sou-

Pansy: Oh look, a cat!

Draco, already squatting down to call it: Ooh Kitty! come kitty. You are just adorable, little kitty cat. Who’s adorable? You are! Oh yes you are! Awww, I just love you, oh yes I do, yes I do…

(Bonus if Harry is hiding behind the invincibility cloak having a heart attack.)

my mom kept complaining that our cat was getting too fat and it was my fault because I’m spoiling her

a few months later I won this particular argument

thanks mate for helping me out, you’re a good bean

Draco, watching reality TV about the American prison system at 2am: Harry, Harry, wake up. If you ever went to muggle jail, you could be the Boy who Shivved. Get it. Because they have this knife called a shiv …

Harry: I’ll be going to muggle prison for your murder if you don’t get out of our room right now. AND STOP DRINKING COFFEE!

Draco: My father was always worried I’d be a homosexual. Well, I’m not.

Harry: Seriously it’s not that fu-

Draco: I’M BISEXUAL!!!

Eddie: you know what your problem is? You’re really cute, but no one ever taught you to shut your piehole

Richie:

Richie: you think I’m cute?

Steve: “Ooh, it’s kinda cold.”

Bucky: “Here, take my jacket.”

Steve: “I love you.”

Bucky: “God, we are such a… perfect couple.”

Tony: “I’m cold, too.”

Strange: “Well, damn, Stark. I can’t control the weather.”

#(｡♥‿  ♥｡)

bonus:

That 70’s Show (1998-2006)

Zenmasters + (◡‿◡✿)

Pansy: Aren't you gay?

Draco: me? GAY?

Draco: I love everything about women.

Draco: Their bodies,

Draco: boobs,

Draco: *looks at smudged writing on hand* Virginias.

[on a date]

me: so, enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?

my date: actually, I prefer established relationships-

me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I think we’re done here

Harry: You might be the most high-maintenance bitch at Hogwarts.

Draco: Might be? Who's more? Who are they?

Draco: Potter, I’d really rather you didn’t make a big deal out of this. It doesn’t mean anything.

Harry: But you kissed me.

Draco: So? I kissed Professor McGonagall on the hand once. Don’t think it means I’m in love with you or anything.

Harry: You’re in love with me?

Draco: See, I knew you’d make a big deal out of nothing. Are you not familiar with casual hook-ups? Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Sometimes sex is just sex.

Harry: So you want to have sex with me?

Draco: No, you’re not getting this. I’m not interested in being your boyfriend or whatever.

Harry: You want to be my boyfriend?

Draco: Oh, fine then. Yes. If you insist. I’ll be your boyfriend, Potter. Merlin, you are so dramatic.

pansy: when you answer the phone, what do you say?

blaise: what up?

ron: who this be?

draco: no, he’s dead to me. this is his son

harry: draco no

Ravenclaw: if a car was going to hit you and you couldn’t jump to the side, jump up you will have a better chance of survival.

Ravenclaw: I feel like you would need that information

Slytherin: If I saw a car coming towards me I wouldn’t move, I would stand still and let it hit me.

Ravenclaw: …wow

Snape: Potter.

Harry: Yes Sir?

Snape: Not you, your husband

Draco: *sighs* Yes, Severus?

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

the types as things Albus Severus should've been named

I’m back after hiatus to shitpost in honor of July 31st & resurrect some old memes yay

ISFJ

INFP

ESFJ

ESFP

ENFJ 

INFJ

ESTP

ISTP

INTP

ENTP

ENFP

ENTJ 

ISFP

I STJ

INTJ

ESTJ

au where everything is the same except sirius black is played by jonathan van ness from queer eye

The blue and red paladin 🌟 

AO3 Tag Game

 tagged by @dreamerkx2 (thnx)

What is your total word count on AO3?

So, it’s 182,500 on Книга Фанфиков (russian site with fanfiction). On Ao3 it is 16, 601.

How often do you write?

Not as often as I would like - once a few days.

Do you have a routine for writing?

Honestly, no, i don’t. I just watch a show and BOOM I want to translate something or write. Then I make cup of tea or coffee and write. Usually, I tell myself: ‘’you will be translate for 2 hours”. And it’s works.

What are your favourite kinks/tropes/pairings?

I read everything, and i have too many pairings, but at the moment my love is drarry. And spideypool.

Hm, I really like humor, ER, soulmate!au and love/hate. Also, i like chat fic and maybe war!au?

Do you have a favourite fic of yours?

Yep, it’s a translation. It is reddie-fic and i love it so much Он Спрашивает, Как У Меня Дела by awesome @themightychipmunk

Your fic with the most kudos?

Well, again, it’s a translation. Собака (sorry, i don’t have author’s profile on Tumblr).

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Omg, my teacher of literature and russian language tell me that i often “jumping” from one topic to the other. That’s one what i hate, but also I get angry when I don’t notice my mistakes. It’s a stupid thing, i understand, but ugrh.

about translation; I think, i have a very small vocabulary, but I hope, that it will change this and next year.

tagging @themightychipmunk and @rose-grangerweasleyisbae (If you want to, of course)

harry potter character vines that butter my beer because I’m a nerd

Hermione, about Drarry: And they were boyfriends.

Pansy: Oh my god, they were boyfriends.

Draco: When will you stop saying that, it’s been weeks.

This has been sitting in my drafts since I saw Black Panther.. .hAAA  I can’t wait  till these two become BFFs.