Ravenclaw: If A Car Was Going To Hit You And You Couldn’t Jump To The Side, Jump Up You Will Have A

richie: when you said you did magic in bed this isn’t what i-

eddie, holding up the 8 of spades: is this your card?

richie [softly]: holy shit

He Went From “Hello Sir, It’s Nice To Finally Meet You” To “Ya Daughter Calls Me Daddy Too”

Snape: Potter.

Harry: Yes Sir?

Snape: Not you, your husband

Draco: *sighs* Yes, Severus?

Person A: B, I will support every decision you’ll make

Person B: So can I murder-

Person A: I will support every decision you’ll make - except that one

therapist: and what do we do when we feel like this?

me: watch the harringrove basketball scenes :)

therapist: NO

you: the cursed child

me, an intellectual: a very potter musical

[on a date]

me: so, enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?

my date: actually, I prefer established relationships-

me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I think we’re done here