Latest Posts by humanelfdwarfdragonlord - Page 3

🎍🐉 Year of the Dragon ! 🐉🎍

Happy New Year everyone ! 🥂

(This is so ooc i’m sorry, this got out of hand and at some point they were magical girls)

hey can you stop placing your palm on my abdomen over the location of my womb and salivating and letting your eyes glaze over with possessive ill intent when i'm talking to you

You would think Castiel’s “heaven” being filled with badly edited half-naked pictures of Dean Winchester is from some spn fan account shitpost from 2015 but no it’s from season 9 episode 22 Stairway To Heaven draft script.

​I CAN HEAR IT CALLING TO ME, SAM.

Microbelr

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wdym you're going to hold me at gunpoint? What's next you caress me at gunpoint?? kiss me at gunpoint??? 🤨

Is it just me or does this look like Crowley?

ok so you might have noticed but im in a really lotr/the hobbit mood lately

and i have an au that ive decided to write where dis gets the title oakensheild instead of thorin, and leads the quest to erebor herself

of course, she and bilbo become besties, and everyone lives because Dis Gets Shit Done and after the quest is over and the battle of the five armies is much less of a clusterfuck dis introduces bilbo to her grumpy big brother Thorin, who stayed in Ered Luin because his diplomatic skills are a bit lacking and also he’s too valuable to loose, and sparks fly. so dis becomes like the shipper of the year and sets up thorin and bilbo because thorin needs to get laid and bilbo is the best man for the job    dis was bored they had chemisty

I need help finding a fic! It’s bagginsheild, it from thorium’s perspective when he’s young in the months leading up to and following the destruction of Erebor, it has bilbo as a slightly morally grey thief form what I could tell. I only got like a chapter in but oh my god was it good!

Please help 🙏

Bagginsheild headcanons because I’m obsessed again

- dwalin had to tell thorin to stop staring at Bilbo so intensely the way he was because to the average hobbit it look like he wanted Bilbo dead

- thorin was like but like it’s a look of love and dwalin was like does Bilbo know that

- thorin passes all his courting ideas past dwalin

thorin: dyou think he’d like to be awoken with my singing and harp

Dwalin: I genuinely think he’d like to be awoken with a knife and screaming

- thorin audibly sniffs Bilbo when they hug

- it freaks out everyone else but Bilbo thinks it’s endearing

- Bilbo loves thorins cooking even though it’s inedible

- thorin had marriage beads and rings made the first night he knew he wanted Bilbo

- bilbo encourages kili and fili to do backflips off the throne much to thorins dismay

- thorin asked bombur for some help to make breakfast for Bilbo but realised after thorin smashed open 6 consecutive eggs beyond use that one morning could not be enough time to help him

- all dwarfs love bilbo because he’s so different to other dwarfs but is nice and endearing

- this makes thorin only slightly jealous even though he knows bilbo would never even look at another dwarf twice

- thorin farts underneath a blanket and traps bilbo underneath it

- thorin is genuinely thrown off the first time bilbo gets him back

- thorin doesn’t take his jacket or crown off in his room because Bilbo always does and thorin loves when he does

- just gives him a reason to be close and kiss him

- this means that when Bilbo is mad at him he will just stare at him fully clothed still while bilbos already in bed

Bilbo: If you apologise I might think of taking off your crown and cloak

Thorin: I can’t imagine what I did wrong

Bilbo (who got blanket trapped in a fart in the morning): really!? Nothing rings out to you??!!? Nothing at all?????

Thorin: nope

Bilbo (not turned away from him and falling asleep): you’re right you didn’t do anything wrong

A token of friendship

The heart and honour of a dwarf triumphing against stereotypes of greed and distrust

Even when, might i add, an opposing force is at bay (King Durin, Dragon Sickness)

Bagginsheild headcanons

- Bilbo doesn’t notice how much thorin is pining hard purely because he was convinced thorin just doesn’t like people like that

- Dwalin and balin hear all of thorins thoughts and feelings about Bilbo

- like even the wet dreams thorins had and they both are like well we have to listen to him dude is like dying over this guy who doesn’t even notice him

- once Bilbo actually catches on he’s like super flirty

- bilbo is verbally affectionate and thorin is physically affectionate

- no big spoon little spoon business who ever is in bed first is used as a bed

NFSW HEADCANONS INCOMING

- bilbo is very good at sex and initiates it, the hobbit rides like a real one

- thorin gets off to bilbo saying fuck

- bilbo says real freak shit under his breathe into thorins ear in public

- thorin then thoroughly lays pipe

- even split between topping and bottoming because we are adults

Heathers but it’s quote from my friend gc… minus the part about pot 

mum said it's my turn to do the good omens + text posts meme pt. 3 (pt.1 / pt.2)

'fuck it we ball' and 'this too shall pass' are literally equal and opposite forces

One of my fav things from the first Eragon book:

When Eragon sees the Urgal footprint and tells Saphira to get Brom to safety and she just grabs Brom and presses him against her with her wings without telling him why and won't let him go before Eragon tells her to. That's just peak "Eragon and Saphira share one (1) braincell and she didn't have it at that time". Also I wanna know what went on in Broms head. One moment he's making a campfire, the next moment his son's dragon snatches him up and won't let him go.

I like to imagine that Brom still got to see and participate in some of Eragons firsts. Like the village is sitting around a campfire and Brom tells one of his stories and little Eragon wriggles free from his aunts grasps and waddles over to him- his first steps. And Brom gets to catch him and everyone thinks it's just cute but Brom, on the inside, is so happy that Eragons first steps were towards him.

I’m just gonna say that the best lotr fics are always the ones with the cultural differences

Cause like, it’s just perfect, it’s always soft, and fun, and it always comes with either healthy communication or communication issues, there’s no in between, which is perfect

And all the species have different shit they celebrate, different standards for things, different body types, different languages, different beliefs and all that, so naturally it’s so cool when all this things face each other in certain circumstances

So yeah, cultural differences is the best tag in any lotr fic

Post-kiss

After the kiss Crowley has freckles around his mouth and doesn't know until someone (Nina/Magie/Muriel) points it out.

Reblog to kick everyone in the nuts

Miraculous Ladybug #Cosplay by  Ashley Nichelle

Cosplayer instagram / twitter /  carrd.co

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adrien and marinette are in love!!!!!!

bucky in fic: steve u asshole u could’ve been killed! what were u thinking? let me bandage u up and get u a nice cup of tea, i love u so much

actual bucky:

Did I just discover something?

Steve walking out that elevator after saying “Hail Hydra”

Things I Need:

1: Attention 2: An Orgasm 3: $10,000,000

>when I’m reading explicit MCU fanfic and they’re about to fuck

OK I GET THE BUCKY AND NAT SHIP I REALLY DO BUT NAT AND STEVE ARE JUST PERFECT?! LIKE THE RIGHTEOUS ALL AMERICAN GOLDEN BOY AND THEN THE SARCASTIC AND SOMETIMES MEAN ANGSTY GIRL WITH A DARK PAST

BESTIE IT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL LIKE PLEASE!!!!! MCU FUCKED UP ON THAT!!!!

Also Steve would just be that golden retriever boyfriend and I feel like that would just be a hilarious dynamic with Nat that could’ve been so good

And just all the old school, chivalrous things he would’ve done that would’ve been adorable to see her reaction to because she’s never experienced something that pure before😭