>when I’m Reading Explicit MCU Fanfic And They’re About To Fuck

hey can you stop placing your palm on my abdomen over the location of my womb and salivating and letting your eyes glaze over with possessive ill intent when i'm talking to you

Did I just discover something?

Post-kiss

After the kiss Crowley has freckles around his mouth and doesn't know until someone (Nina/Magie/Muriel) points it out.

Bilbo who braids Thorin's hair as he fucking dies. Bilbo who can't seem to get his hands to stop shaking but he just has to put the braid in now, before it's too late because they said they would. Bilbo who had the stupid, silver beads in his pocket, ready, because there was never supposed to be a war just a wedding.

I just can't stop thinking about how, sure, there were some rocky moments but that's all they were supposed to be; moments. Bilbo was sure they were going to pass. They were going to work through it. Why else would he be growing out his hair when normally it drove him mad after a certain point?

Thorin who passes gently, peacefully, with the sloppiest, most blasphemous braid in his hair which nobody dares to touch. Thorin who promises to return the favour in the afterlife but in the meantime please do it for me, ghivashel. Thorin whose final breaths are vows.

Bilbo who goes home and learns how to braid. Bilbo who never cuts his hair again.

ANYWAY I'M GOING TO SOB NOW!

Good Omens Fandom! I’m a teacher so making visuals is my jam. May I present: The Ineffable Timeline :)

Faux ML COVID ad because Gabriel would definitely take advantage of the situation

me:*cracks my neck*

My mom:looks at me in shock

Me:I'm like a glow stick

My mom:🤨

Me:just without the glow

My mom:😂

I’m just gonna say that the best lotr fics are always the ones with the cultural differences

Cause like, it’s just perfect, it’s always soft, and fun, and it always comes with either healthy communication or communication issues, there’s no in between, which is perfect

And all the species have different shit they celebrate, different standards for things, different body types, different languages, different beliefs and all that, so naturally it’s so cool when all this things face each other in certain circumstances

So yeah, cultural differences is the best tag in any lotr fic

having a uterus SUCKS man bc all day you'll be feeling the "hey bestie check your pants 😃 check it right now 😃 you might be getting your period 😃 hey bestie i think youre bleeding 😃" and then when you check if you got your period and your body is like WRONG ❌️ its The Slime