Latest Posts by digital-dissociation-blog - Page 6

Life update: Mood swings and depression are at an all-time high. Very horrible. Im not myself lately. I'm mean, nasty, and lashing out at all my loved ones. Trying to convince them to hate me, because if they hate me they can't be sad when im dead. Im actively suicidal and always very close to doing something or hurting myself. Exhausting. I went to the doctors today. Wanted to tell her about my horrible depression, but my mother was there. Got cold feet. Doctor told me Neurology doesn’t do POTS testing at ucsf but Cardiology does, so I’m getting referred for possible table testing. And the Disease place replied back to her and is requesting testing for Lyme because of everything I told them about how sick I am/get , so I had blood work done today. If I come back negative then I don't have to worry at all about it, apparently. But they are running three different types of testing and splotches to make sure. Unfortunately nothing back from mental health though. Which I need badly. I break down crying at nothing  Im just awful in every way...How can he say im getting better..?

I am in a lot of pain, and very emotionally unstable. Everything feels 20x harder on me today. I just want to be done with everything.  Gonna smoke some and try to sleep, if the pain doesn't stop me.

Having a rough week after a longer period with low symptoms is really hard.

I’m feeling as if life was punishing my for feeling to strong and confident.

I’m gonna make a modern remake of Sleeping Beauty where this girl in high school develops Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, has to drop out of school and is asleep all the time and the one thing that really makes her feel better is gardening so she grows giant fucking thorn bushes in her back yard, like really alarmingly large and it’s kinda freaky and she’s in some repressive suburb and the neighbors complain, so her parents hire a guy to cut down the thorn bushes. Theyre weirdly resistant though and it’s a whole situation but whenever someone tries to talk to her about what she’s feeding them she’s like “oh, Mother, forgive me I feel faint I must lie down.” The bush-removal guy tries to flirt with her but she doesn’t seem to notice. He chalks it up to her being Young and Sheltered and Innocent but really she is a lesbian and is doing witchcraft in her dreams to make the thorn bushes grow back every night where he had cut them the previous day. Eventually they take over the neighbors’ yards and creep across everyone’s walls. They get under the houses and the roots start to collapse everyone’s plumbing. Luckily our forward-thinking hero has already installed a composting toilet. Her parents have actually moved out at this point but her plants are feeding her and helping her keep track of her meds so it’s fine. At the end of the film the herbicide guy gets torn apart by thorns while the girl lies serenely on the couch with her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

Sed the Depressed Hoarder of Bananas and Chocolate syrup 

If only it could be so easy

negativity

If I kill myself in daydreams enough times will it finally be real?

Please?

I can make it look like an accident so nobody cares or is sad

Just let me go now please

Please..?

I realized that the only way someone would ever actually love me and want to be with me is if they didn’t even exist and were a figment of my imagination. The realization sort of hit me really hard and I don't think I’ve ever felt so painfully hurt, unwanted, and so utterly alone.  Because not even my own mother seems to love and want me. It kind of changes everything now. I might as well be dead. I’ll end up living a life in my head anyway. What kind of existence even is that? Not one I want..

What I say: I'm off to bed now, goodnight!

What I mean: I'm going to dissociate for a few hours until I drift into sleep, goodnight!

me: Ok brain. We need to be moving on. We can’t keep hyper fixating on someone not interested in us like that. It's not good. It's hurting us. BPD brain: You’re right. Understandable. Request considered.  Youtube: -Plays an emotional bop- Me: O h n o MDD:  did somebody ask for ♥ r o m a n t i c ♥ d a y d r e a m s ♥ ? Me: Wai tno  please dont do it MDD: -Does it- BPD: You know what. When you put it that way. Request denied. Me: 💕 💕 💕🎀  𝐹𝓊𝒸𝓀  🎀 💕 💕 💕  *Smitten*

Mentally ill witchcraft: For your symptoms

It’s really common to find witchy mental illness/health related content that is catered towards specific illnesses (usually anxiety and depression). This is more catered to specific symptoms.

Witchcraft is to be used as a supplement to proper medical care, medication and therapy - not as a sole alternative!

Anger:

Amethyst anger release spell

Easy anger release spell

A quick way to cool anger

Anger dispersion magic tea

Anger reducing bath

Bath spell to release anger

“I channel my anger in a healthy, safe and productive manner” sigil

“My anger is under control” sigil

This masterpost

Anxiety:

Anti-anxiety shower spell

Soothing bath spell

Rainy day anxiety spell

I will be okay spell

Anti-anxiety spell jar

Anti-anxiety spell charm

Anti-anxiety tea

Brain Fog + Memory:

ADHD concentration spell bottle

Brainfog lifting

“Brainfog begone” sigil

Rosemary memory spell

Finding things/ memory spell

Memory and concentration spell

Memory enhancement sachet

Memory and awareness spell bottle 

Depression:

Post-depressive-episode bath spell

Ease my depression spell bottle

“Last hope” spell for depression

Anti-depression tea

Gems for depression

Disassociation: 

Spell for disassociation 

Witch’s disassociation bracelet 

“Anti-disassociation” sigil

“I am grounded and in control of my emotions + reactions” sigil

Fatigue:

Spell for energy

Energy gain spell

Energy jar

Energy bath

Crystals for fatigue

“No fatigue” sigil

“Energy” sigil

“I am energetic” sigil

“I have the energy to take a shower” sigil

Flashbacks/trauma

Spell to release emotional blockage

Piece by piece trauma healing spell

Healing from childhood trauma spell bottle

Spell bottle for reassurance 

“My trauma does not hold me back” sigil

Insomnia + nightmares:

Restful sleep and sweet dreams sachet

Sleep crystal spell

Stuffed animal sleep spell

Sleep easy spell sachet

Sleepy witch tip

Nightmare ward charm

Nightmare repellent

Nightmare prevention - crystals and herbs

Dream witch nightmare tips

Intrusive thoughts:

OCD assistance bath

Spell to ward against intrusive thoughts

Spell to control intrusive thoughts

Banish intrusive thoughts incantation

Banishing unwanted thoughts spell

Intrusive thought banishing spell

“I am in control of my OCD” sigil 

Panic attacks:

Panic attack relief pouch

Anti-panic attack spell earrings

Rose Quartz calming spell

“Ease my panic attacks” sigil

“I have less panic attacks” sigil

Paranoia:

Crystals for paranoia

“My paranoia does not control me” sigil

“I don’t let paranoid thoughts overcome me” sigil

“My paranoia does not affect me” sigil

Picking (hair, skin, etc.):

Ease skin picking spell

“I resist the urge to pick my skin” sigil

“I keep from picking” sigil

“My trichotillomania is under control” sigil

“I don’t pull out my hair or eyelashes” sigil

“I am in control and resist the desire to pick my hair” sigil

Mood Swings/Emotional Balance: 

Increasing your emotional tolerance spell

Crystals for BPD

“I regulate my emotions well”

“I am happy and do not have mood swings” sigil

If anyone has content on a category I wasn’t able to include, or for a category that is lacking, feel free to send it my way and I’ll get a part two started for this post! Click [here] for the chronically ill symptoms masterpost. 

Rainbow aura quartz

requested by @tiny-dragons-castle

x x x | x x x | x x x

i’m not gonna kill myself because if my depression wants me dead THAT badly it’s gonna have to start shutting my fucking organs down like a REAL disease instead of being a fucking pussy and hiding in my brain and trying to get ME to do it’s dirty work for it !

A small example of what it is like to live with chronic illnesses like mine

Your daughters do not exist to give you grandchildren

I just get so bummed out when I think about how I'll always be too shy to say what's on my mind I'm fantasizing all the t i m e~   and every day is always ☀️ ｓｕｎｎｙ ☀️ I'm sweet as syrup on ya, 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓎 and isn't it w ₒ ₙ d ₑ ᵣ f ᵤ ₗ ? how you make me so pǝsnɟuoɔ, when I talk to you am I losing my ｍｉｎｄ or am I winning your 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽? oh if only I'd met you w a y back when I was alone without a friend things would've been so much easier then now I forget how to feel I haven't fully healed oh, from that ᴀᴡꜰᴜʟ blow I hope it doesn't show cause I don't want to be  ₐ ₗ ₒ ₙ ₑ every day's an apple pie when I'm with you I'm not so shy and I almost feel alive in your ♥ 𝒶𝓇𝓂𝓈 ♥ help me forget what I'm going through and I'll give 🎀  𝑒 𝓋 𝑒 𝓇 𝓎 𝓉 𝒽 𝒾 𝓃 𝑔  🎀 to you it's the least that I could do we could be happy, you and me we could be happy, you and me 𝓌𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝔀𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂

You’ll be fine, you h o n e y c o m b~

Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so

c o l d ?

You’ll be fine, oh h o n e y p i e~

Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so

u n k i n d ?

shoutout to people with simultaneously great and terrible memories. like oh yeah i remember in perfect detail that random story you told about the banana costume from a year ago but all of novemeber? completely blank.

our brain, clearly woke: if you don’t have a good parental figure, make one up! that’s to comfort the 5-year-old you, who you still talk to and sometimes become :)

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

If you see this

im sorry

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