I Realized That The Only Way Someone Would Ever Actually Love Me And Want To Be With Me Is If They Didn’t

what bpd is like

Bpd be like…

A minor inconvenience? Initiate RAGE

A stranger smiles at you? Initiate LOVE

Your fp doesn’t respond three minutes after you message them? InitiateDESPAIR

Someone bugs you slightly? Initiate HATRED

Something is slightly more than you (more anything at all)? Initiate JEALOUSY

Something good happens? Initiate EUPHORIA

and it all changes within seconds…

chronic pain [ID: Two boxes with drawings in them,the first one is an arm outstretched with an x-ray like bones inside of the arm and hand. The bones have flowers and plants in them. The box under has a drawing of a torso with again bones showing with flowers in them.]

Having a rough week after a longer period with low symptoms is really hard.

I’m feeling as if life was punishing my for feeling to strong and confident.

I got in a bit of work today. But also apparently I am having a sciatica flare up in my left leg. Not fun. Sharp pain from my back going down to my calf/side of my leg. But I have to sit here and get this work done. Bleh.

Sigh

I missed my appointment. My mother wanted to fight me the entire time. We got lost because she didnt want to listen to me and trust my directions . We argued, she yelled and threw stuff at me. The whole day was fucked. Im tired. Unfortunately this morning I started my period, heavy and painful too. So I get to experience that ‘lovely’ dysphoria and dissociation that comes with it. Not to mention my right ear is hurting, and im barely getting over my left ear infection. I toom antibiotics for a week but they left me sicker physically. Sigh...

anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left