Latest Posts by avaincorrectquoter - Page 2

Purple: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Second: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Gang: Awwww-

Second: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Gang: Oh.

Purple: Sorry if I'm bothering you...

Surgeon: How do you keep waking up and saying that?

*out grocery shopping*

Red: *takes a free sample twice*

Red: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Dark: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Blue: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

Purple: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

Red: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Chosen: I would never say that my Dark is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… Dark is a bitch and I love them.

Blue: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.

Purple: Gender? Ha, yeah. I totally have one of those, definitely. There's some sort of gender around here, gimmie a second.

Purple, throwing dirty laundry around: Shit. I know it was here... I saw it yesterday!

Purple, crawling around on the floor, looking under things: Ugh... Sorry, gimmie a sec... I swear, I had it just the other day...

Green: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Purple: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Second: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Navy, holding a new born Purple: He's beautiful...

The Doctor: We're gonna have to give him some shots.

Navy: Oh hell yeah, pour up. It's his fucking birthday.

Yellow: Engineer? Yeah, I'm enginEERING MY FUCKIN' LIMIT WITH THESE THREE!

Dark: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

Green: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."

Yellow: Opposite over hypotenuse.

Green: Dipshit.

Dark: Did you just call me a shrimp asshole? I'm still growing dammit!

Green: Second is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.

Green: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

Dark: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give The Dark Lord lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Yellow: Green, why are you still in here?

Green: I'm contemplating what life really means, you know? I'm wondering whether we really have a purpose.

Yellow: ...

Green: ...

Green: Plus, Red glued me to the chair.

Chosen: You're not gonna shoot those kids, are you?

Dark: Yeah, in their faces, why?

Dark: I'm just gonna start killing people.

Dark: Everything else is boring.

Red: What time is it?

Green: I dunno, pass me the clarinet

Red: *hands Green the clarinet*

Green: *starts playing obnoxiously*

Yellow: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE CLARINET AT 3AM?

Green: It's 3am

Green: When was the last time you cried?

Purple: Uh 15 minutes ago, why?

Green: Really? That recent?

Purple: Y-Yeah, is that an i-issue? *starts crying again*

King: Can you friends be serious for 5 seconds?

Purple: Their record is 4, but I think they can do it

Yellow: I'm the smartest, wisest person of the group

Green: Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Yellow: I paid for my candy bar, I'm getting my candy bar.

Yellow: Ducks are better than rabbits.

Red: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Blue: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

Red: We’re not talking about flavour, Blue!

Blue: Flavour counts!

Red: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

Second: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?

Red: Okay, but-

Second: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Green: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

Red: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, GREEN!

Green: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, RED!

Yellow: I- Jesus-

Alright I've decided to actually mention this but go check out @sxncvut because they did a really cool comic version of this.

Here it is hehehe go check it out :)

*gang is chilling in the house*

*knocking at the door*

Second: Was Purple supposed to come over today?

Green: I don't think so-

*loud boom*

Dark, walking through where the door just was: We're here!

Second: Oh, hi Dark! Hi Chosen and Vic!

Yellow: What happened to the door?

Dark: APRIL FOOLS!

Yellow: BURNING DOWN THE DOOR IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE?!

Dark: Technically, the door exploded, much quicker and more efficient.

*later*

Dark: Well, bye you little suckers!

Second: Bye Dark! Sorry the others couldn't see you off

Dark: Nah, it's okay. Come on Chosen, come one Vic let's head out

Second, already ducking behind the couch: NOW GUYS!

Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue: GLITTER ATTACK!

Dark: Wha-

*glitter bombs are thrown*

*The Dark Lord is now covered in glitter*

Chosen, patting Dark on the back: Happy April Fools Day