Tw Restriction - Blog Posts

Life may be shit and I may be failing at both my job and education but atleast I got my bffs and the sense of control from restriction to keep me going 💪💪

RAHHH I’ve only gotten 10k steps today but I’m so tireddd I need some motivation

Guys I’m actually so confused, my scales telling me I hit 51.3kg but I swear to god I don’t look it like if I look back on body checks where I was a whole kilo heavier I still looked skinnier then. My scales not broken, I put things with a bunch of different weights on it to make sure and it was accurate.

I don’t even know if I should feel happy or not, it feels fake.

God I miss charcuterie boards

I think my scales broken or something cause I weighed myself this morning and it said I’m 51.8kg but istg I look fatter than I did a couple days ago when I weighed the same amount before I binged.

Man I took 15+ laxatives last night and it has barely effected me, I fear I have developed a tolerance smh 😔

God has cursed me with taste buds that don’t like any sort of 0 calorie energy drinks/fizzy drinks WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

GUYS I MADE IT INTO THE BMI 17’S LETS GOOO 💪💪

I’ve gotten so lazy and lenient with myself lately no wonder I’ve been binging so much, come back honeymoon phase you left me so soon 🙏🙏

Ladies and gentlemen I am absoloutely thrilled to let y’all know I’ve made it back to my pre binge weight CAN I HEAR A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

I’ve got some social outings planned this week and I’m shitting bricks, I’m hanging out with my friend tomorrow arvo which I’m not too concerned about because I can just make believable excuses but I’m having a 2 night sleepover with my best friend and I have no idea how I’m gonna restrict without it causing red flags (they know about my disordered behaviours) but I refuse to binge again or eat over my cal limit so if anyone has any ideas for excuses or ways to discreetly get rid of food they would be greatly appreciated 🙏🙏

I love my therapist she’s chill as but my god does she not know how to deal with eating disorders, like I’ve opened up to her about it in the past but I don’t think she understands the severity of it. Like she dismisses it really easily and whenever I decline food in our sessions she says “are you dieting again?” in a very laugh out loud way if that makes sense. Like I know she’s not intentionally trying to dismiss me I don’t think but it makes me feel like I’m not disordered enough and that she must think I’m too fat for it to be a problem. It’s whatever though, just gives me more motivation to get worse. I’ll show her “dieting”.

Just finished my 20k steps, did a 10 minute stretch and stayed under my 450 cal limit we are so back and I am so ready for bed.

Goodnight lovelies may tomorrow be as, if not more successful as today has been <3

Need to cut this lower belly fat off of me NYAWWW

Binging has set me back so much, I’m all the way back up to basically 54kg and my mindset and discipline has crumbled. If I hadn’t binged I would be underweight and would have gotten more than 20k steps by now but alas it’s 4:30pm and I just started walking, and my endurance and motivation has gone to shit so I’ll probably only get 10k steps at best.

I know sulking won’t get me anywhere, and I’m getting back on track but it’s just so hard to deal with.

I binged again, to no ones surprise. I’m such a failure, not just at this but at everything in my life, this is just making me realise that more than I usually would I guess. I don’t think fasting is gonna work out for me, I have too much of a mental block from it right now so I think I’ll just go back to 400 cals a day and progressively increase the intermittent fasting hours if that makes sense. I don’t even know, I’m just itching for some sort of control, a way to prove to myself that I can do something right.

I just finished having the worst binge episode of my life. I’ve gone from 51.9kg to 56kg in the span of 2 days, consumed more than 10,000 calories, 3k at least in the past hour.

It was so disgusting, I sat on the floor shoving food down my throat, throwing up then continuing eating. It spilled everywhere, ice cream all though my carpet, all through my clothes. I tried to purge it out but nothig came up but drool. I sat in that, the drool, leftover throw up and food for what felt like 30 minutes. My stomach hurts, it looks disgusting and I’ve lost my thigh gap.

I was 2 weeks binge free, and now I’ve gone and messed it all up. I don’t even know what to do. My only plan is to take all my laxatives, walk until my legs give out, and cut myself.

I’m never eating again.

Oh my god I binged so hard at that sleepover I feel sickly full, I’m sure I’ve gone straight back up to 53kg.

As of tomorrow I will be fasting until Wednesday, then going back to 400 max a day.

I had my mum measure my height yesterday and she said I was 171 cm, and I just weighed myself and I’m 52.2kg meaning that I could be bmi 17.9 but I’m scared that she mis measured me and I’m still 170cm and stuck in bmi 18 jail 😔

Restricting while having a job is so hard I literally feel like I’m dying and on the verge of passing out and I still gotta go clean an entire department hot and dehydrated as hell in the span of 3 hours 💔💔

I’ve bee stuck in 53kg jail for the past 3 days now despite consistently getting 20k steps, eating under 600 calories and abusing the hell out of laxatives. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get out of this plateau? I’m thinking of just fasting until the number drops.

Introduction

ׂ╰┈➤ Hello! My name is Kassidy / Kas and I use they/them pronouns.

I restrict / binge and purge through laxatives.

I’ve been lurking for a couple years now on and off, too afraid to post anything due to the fact I am undiagnosed.

I have been engaging is disordered eating behaviours for many years now, but feel uncomfortable labelling myself as having an eating disorder or anorexia until I’ve lost enough weight to get diagnosed. (Imposter syndrome be damned).

I want to use this blog now to connect with other disordered people as the loneliness that comes with these behaviours has become unbearable, and document said behaviours and progress as I work towards reaching my ugw.

Mutuals are welcomed and encouraged, and DM’s are always open <3

─── ──── ─── ♱ ──── ─── ────

I am sixteen (08) and 170cm.

Current weight: 53kg (bmi 18.3)

Goal weight 1: 48kg (bmi 16.6)

Goal weight 2: 42kg (bmi 14.5)

Ultimate Goal weight: 38kg (bmi 13.1)

Block don’t report please!!

Someone please keep me in check when I am fasting

Tell me why I keep losing and gaining the SAME EXACT 4LBS??!! I JUST WANT THE FAT GONE ALREADY 😭😭😭

How it feels having an ed

IDK HOW OR WHY BUT IM ACTUALLY STARTING TO GET CALLED SKINNY BY A LOT OF PPL EVEN THO IM NOT CLOSE TO BEING SKINNY YET (EVEN MY MATH TEACHER CALLED ME SKINNY WTF?!!)😭😭😭

Real😭🙏🙏

not e@ting: :D

not shitting: D: