I’ve Bee Stuck In 53kg Jail For The Past 3 Days Now Despite Consistently Getting 20k Steps, Eating

Just weighed myself for the first time since Sunday and apparently I weigh 0.1kg less than I did before I binged. Honestly I think my scale might be broken, or skinny fat has just got me in a crazy chokehold because I look way too fat to be BMI 16.3

I’m taking a break from laxatives starting tonight and I’m so anxious because they’ve been my lifeline but I gotta do what I gotta do 😔

Sadly still painfully bloated y’all, my mums gonna get me some medication to try flush it out but if it doesn’t work I gotta go to the doctor #prayforme

The binge urges have been hitting hard lately, thankfully I haven’t fully given into them but it’s been causing me to slack off and eat more than planned.

Im praying so hard to keep my restraint tonight when I get home from work, and for this weekend since I’m having a sleepover.

Next week I’m locking in so hard I’ve only got 2 shifts so I’m gonna try liquid fast as many days as I physically can so I can try speed run my goal of reaching 50kg by the end of this month.

I’ve done almost everything to debloat today if I don’t wake up at least a kilo lighter i genuinely may go jump in front of a bus

Locking in so hard for May, even if I don’t get to my UGW by June I’m getting to BMI 14.

I’m gonna fast 3 days a week minimum, laxatives everyday especially on non fasting days, stay under 450 cals a day, get at least 25g protein on non fasting days, 20k steps and 20 minutes Pilates a day + 30 minute strength training on non fasting days.

It seems unrealistic and I know I’m gonna lose motivation by the end of the week but I will persevere and stick to this plan, I can’t let another month go by no closer to my goal. This is all I have ever wanted, and I will get it.

Broke my fast with an egg and slice of toast, the guilt is low-key killing me but I’m walking it off tonight at work + I’m gonna take 25 lax.

My family just told me that we are moving back down to my hometown in June. I’m so upset Ive worked so hard to establish my life and support system up here and now I’m going to lose it all, and there is barely any mental health services back there. I am now even more determined to lose enough weight to be hospitalised within the next 3 months so I can stay here longer. They can’t take me back, I won’t let them.

Going to the movies with my friend tonight so I’m just gonna have a monster until then, and OMAD a little bit of popcorn/snacks we get there and hope and pray I have enough discipline not to go overboard with it :)

I thought I’d grown immune to laxatives but nahhh they just waited to hit at the same time