I Think My Scales Broken Or Something Cause I Weighed Myself This Morning And It Said I’m 51.8kg But

I have been so productive today omg I wrote an entire essay and already got 10k+ steps and have stayed under 400 calories so far 💪💪

I’m so anxious I’m going to wake up having gained or maintained the anticipation is making it impossible to sleep PLEASE LORD I KNOW IM ON MY PERIOD SO IM GOING TO GAIN AND RETAIN WATER WEIGHT SUPER EASILY BUT I NEED TO WAKE UP 53kg PLEASEEE

My body disgusts me I feel so disgusting I feel the fat suffocating me and I keep feeding it I hate myself so much I can’t take this anymore

I’m actually in disbelief of how much weight I’ve managed to put on in the past couple of days, I don’t think I’ve ever looked fatter in my life like even at my highest weight so I must have managed to gain at least 5-7kg since Monday night. I’m especially concerned because I’ve already purged and taken 20+ laxatives in the past couple hours and the bloating hasn’t gone down at all so it must be legitimate weight.

I’m hoping that my laxatives kick in soon and that I’m able to digest a large amount of the binge remnants in my sleep because if I look the same tomorrow I’m genuinely gonna cancel the dinner party plans and just rot in my room and fast.

I want to up my intake to 800 a couple days a week so I can speed up my metabolism and get more protein in but I did it today and I feel horrible and out of control and like I’m going to gain so much weight. I don’t know how or if I’m going to be able to do it to be honest, and even worse, I’m having a big sleepover with my friends this weekend and I’m sure there will be so much food. I want to cry, I can’t do this, why can’t this weight just get the fuck off of me already.

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GUYS IVE MADE IT INTO 51KG TERRITORY IM ONLY LESS THAN HALF A KILO FROM BEING UNDERWEIGHT (I’m still considering myself 170cm until I get it properly checked at the doctors) !!

I’ve gotta be so careful at the sleepover tonight though, I’m not gonna restrict as much I don’t think because the last time I did they clocked that shit immediately but I’m gonna try stay under my BMR and then when I get back I’m gonna fast.

Wish me luck y’all !!

omfg just wasted 100 cals on an unfulfilling bland as wrap I’m gonna lose it this is why I stick to my OMAD routine

I just finished having the worst binge episode of my life. I’ve gone from 51.9kg to 56kg in the span of 2 days, consumed more than 10,000 calories, 3k at least in the past hour.

It was so disgusting, I sat on the floor shoving food down my throat, throwing up then continuing eating. It spilled everywhere, ice cream all though my carpet, all through my clothes. I tried to purge it out but nothig came up but drool. I sat in that, the drool, leftover throw up and food for what felt like 30 minutes. My stomach hurts, it looks disgusting and I’ve lost my thigh gap.

I was 2 weeks binge free, and now I’ve gone and messed it all up. I don’t even know what to do. My only plan is to take all my laxatives, walk until my legs give out, and cut myself.

I’m never eating again.

Does anyone have any tips on how to fix severe exhaustion? I’m not sick but I’ve felt like death for some reason the past 2 days and it’s preventing me from getting my steps in because moving feels borderline impossible.