Latest Posts by matt-w-blogging - Page 4

- get up early to use the bathroom

- pablo's waiting outside at the end of the hall

- I open the door

- he screams at me

- I'm worried and don't want him to wake anyone

- I run over to see what's wrong

- he just tricked me into a cuddle session

- I'm not even mad he's a clever little kitty

Remus: I always thought young, good-looking, nice teachers were made up for fiction plots

Roman: And...?

Remus: Then I met this one teacher at my school, and I don't know, there's something about him. Handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, did a flammability lab where we got to light shit on fire—

Logan, handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, loves to light shit on fire with Remus: *speechless*

Roman, when Remus leaves: He's... He's friendzoning you so hard... He's projecting his attraction to you on someone who's like you...

Logan: I have to go. I'm going to smash something with a bat.

Theodore (my cat): *meow*

Me, through my closed room door: You can't come in buddy

Theodore: *sad meow*

Me: I'm sorry but my room isn't clean and you're a little bastard

Theodore: *sadder meow*

Now I can just imagine one of the sides having this conversation with Remus (Remus as my cat, obviously)

Logan, quietly, seeing a unisex bathroom sign: Ah, yes, the three genders: Pants, skirt, and wheelchair.

Thomas:

Everyone who can't hear/see Logan: *gives him strange looks*

“You know a lot about this,” Patton said, seeming surprised.

Roman’s cheeks turned pink. “Well, y’know, someone once came out to me as polyamorous and I realized I didn't know much about it so I decided to do some research so I could support them wholeheartedly.”

Patton smiled, touched.

Don't mind them having a sweet moment while Logan's mom is having a breakdown right beside them and Logan is in the hospital

Remus, clothes shopping: These pants make me feel like Harry Styles, but not in a fun & sexy way.

Patton: What?

Logan: They're too bunchy around the hip/thigh area, got it.

Remus: Yeah, I don't have the hips for these.

(Several days later)

Remus, shooting up in the middle of the night: THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIGH-RISE!

[Roman]: Your problem is you didn't woo her with any gusto. You know what people like?

[Patton]: Bagels!

[Roman]: N-No, what? Maybe.

Can confirm that if someone asked me out with bagels, it'd work better than flowers

Mushroom sky, mushroom sky, whatever could it mean?

Between Remus and his complicated relationship with Patton, Janus probably hasn't slept in eight years

Logan, on phone: I heard you guys are at the emergency room. What happened? Are you okay?

Virgil: Oh, so Patton tried to pet a dingo—

Logan: Oh my god! Is he okay??

Virgil: Yeah he's fine, Roman got mauled by the dingo for trying to get him to stop petting it.

Logan: Oh my god, how did you handle that?

Virgil: Easy. Took Pat to a dog shelter so he can pet puppies safely, told Roman some stories about knights that got hurt while protecting their friends.

Logan: Wow. I'm impressed.

Virgil: How've you and Janus and Remus been?

Logan: *looks at kitchen that is in shambles from the two of them microwaving a microwave (for science) as Remus frantically tries to clean it up before Janus sees*

Logan: ...Equally good, I'd say.

Virgil, laughing: What, have one of you been mauled too?

Logan: Not yet.

Virgil: Wait, what?

Logan, hearing Janus's footsteps: Gotta go bye!

Virgil: LOGAN WHAT—

Same on the tentacles, holy shit on the art that's fantastic

Well, you could not expect that you will throw out the tea party with the theme of Mad Max and I will not draw Remus for this

"If only Apollo had more influence today..."

I did say I'd post the colored version when it was finished, so here we go 💚🧡

Theo: *sitting on the windowsill, looking outside*

People: *walking past*

People: *gasp, high-pitched voice* Hi kitty! Hi kitty!

People: *keep going*

Theo: they show no desire to harm me,,, perhaps I should not be terrified when people come into my territory,,, perhaps I shall no longer run,,, perhaps—

Me: *cracks knuckle absentmindedly*

Theo:

OH GOD

WHAT WAS THAT??

Logan, finishing ranting about how stupid it was: I wish I could give them a piece of my mind.

Remus: You were on the phone with them?

Logan: No, I was on the phone with their innocent secretary, who's just doing their job. I'm not gonna shoot the messenger. I'm gonna go to the corporate headquarters and shoot the CEO.

Remus: I have a gun.

Logan: What?

Remus: What?

Logan: ...That was a hyperbole. I'm not going to commit murder. It's eat the rich, not shoot the rich.

Remus: Haha yeah I know I'm joking

Logan: Remus why do you have a gun

Remus: I don't know what you mean—

Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!

Logan: *ends call*

Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—

Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.

Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?

Remus: No.

Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!

Logan: *ends call*

Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—

Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.

Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?

Remus: No.

hey thanks for posting that fic! it's really good!!! 💜💜💜💜💜

I'm glad you like it!

- Finds out my nemesis has a peanut allergy

- Puts peanut oil in my water bottle

- Goes to meet nemesis

- Confesses love

- Drinks peanut oil

- Kisses them

- I've think I've won

- Plot twist

- They planned this

- They aren't allergic to peanuts

- And now we're dating

- Oh shit

Me: *gets this notification*

Me: Hang on this person's gotta be messing with me let me check so I don't look like an idiot online

Me: *looks this up*

Me: THOMAS IS ALLERGIC TO CATS??? POOR GUY

Also: That means logically that *all* the sides are allergic to cats, right? (Doesn't mean they don't have other allergies though so my point/joke still stands—)

Side Allergies

Canon ones, (with proof):

Patton: Allergic to cats

(It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.)

"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic."

Remus: Allergic to soap

"It's got soap on it! I'm allergic to soap, you (beep)!"

Roman: Allergic to cats

"You think you know someone and then WHAM! Out of nowhere... they fill your apartment with feral cats?! And now you're somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially to Mrs. Snuffles... more like Mrs. Sniffles! ...Because of the allergy."

So, for the others, my guesses for allergies are:

Logan: Allergic to bullshit

Janus: Allergic to society

Virgil: Allergic to makeup remover

It's decent!

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

Y'all wish me luck on Patton's glasses, I got black embroidery thread for this but I can't do round embroidering—

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

I'm bored so I'm gonna summarize each of the sanders sides episodes but badly

The sides' quirks when entering a new house, based on my own

Virgil: Figures out where the exits/entrances are (just in case)

Logan: Figures out where the bathrooms are (practical)

Janus: Figures out where the outlets in commonly-access rooms are (practical)

Patton: Figures out if there are pets/where the pets are (a necessity)

Roman: Figures out which common-accessed window has the best view (harmless?)

Remus: Figures out where all the doors lead to (why)

Side Allergies

Canon ones, (with proof):

Patton: Allergic to cats

(It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.)

"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic."

Remus: Allergic to soap

"It's got soap on it! I'm allergic to soap, you (beep)!"

Roman: Allergic to cats

"You think you know someone and then WHAM! Out of nowhere... they fill your apartment with feral cats?! And now you're somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially to Mrs. Snuffles... more like Mrs. Sniffles! ...Because of the allergy."

So, for the others, my guesses for allergies are:

Logan: Allergic to bullshit

Janus: Allergic to society

Virgil: Allergic to makeup remover

Wonderful post op but I read this as 'milf' at first and that gave it a WHOLE other meaning lemme tell you—

janus centric stories where he's insecure of his scales and thinks they're evil and monstrous are fun for angst reasons and all but you can't stare me dead in the eye and tell me that canon, present-day janus doesn't look in the mirror every morning and think he's the prettiest mf in thomas' mind

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

C!Thomas: *cleaning a litterbox while catsitting for a friend*

Remus: Huh, that kinda looks like a salted nut roll.

C!Thomas:

C!Thomas: *deep sigh* And now I'm never eating one of those again.

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

So let's say the sides are at the party and they have a female friend. How would they react (as a group) if she said that some guy is not taking no for an answer and making her feel unsafe?

Roman, immediately taking charge: Which one is he?

Friend: Are you going to intimidate him?

Roman: No, I'm going to have Remus intimate him, I'm about as threatening as a sprig of rosemary.

Remus, looming behind Roman: Which one is he?

Friend: *points him out*

Remus, taking Janus with him: *heads in that direction*

Logan: *follows, so they don't do something they'll regret*

Patton, wrapping an arm around her if she's okay with that: Are you alright? Do you want to leave?

Friend: If you don't mind...

Patton: Of course we don't. You're more important than any dumb party.

Virgil: Yeah, I located all the exits when we first got here, the quickest one that doesn't go past him is this way.

Virgil: *leads group to exit*

Patton: *walks beside friend, keeping her close*

Roman: *walks close behind them, making sure nobody tries anything*

Virgil, Patton, Roman, Friend: *safely arrive to their homes/wherever they're headed back to*

Remus, Janus, Logan: *show up about an hour later, Remus with bruised knuckles that he refuses to explain, though he might have already had them, no one's totally sure*

Friend: How'd it go?

Janus: For us? Well. We won't have to worry about him bothering anyone again.

Friend: ...Is he alive?

Janus: Who's to say?

Logan, behind Janus: He's alive. And physically unharmed.

Friend, uncertain: Physically?

Logan, offering no elaboration: Yes.

No thoughts head empty just wanna sit in studio ghibli's catbus

Roman: *enters kitchen to see Janus sitting at the counter, face in his hands, Patton sitting beside him, rubbing his back, and Logan standing awkwardly in the corner*

Roman: Um... What?

Janus: *sniffling*

Roman: Is he crying?

Logan: Yes.

Roman: ...Why?

Logan: Patton convinced him to watch 'My Neighbor Totoro' with him. He...

Janus, through sobs: I thought it was going to be a cute story about a big fluffy rabbit-bear and it ripped out my heartstrings and used them to string a lute and then played it right in front of me!

Patton: *comforting intensifies*

Logan: That.

Roman: Right... I'm gonna go.

Logan: Take me with you.