Remus: I always thought young, good-looking, nice teachers were made up for fiction plots
Roman: And...?
Remus: Then I met this one teacher at my school, and I don't know, there's something about him. Handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, did a flammability lab where we got to light shit on fire—
Logan, handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, loves to light shit on fire with Remus: *speechless*
Roman, when Remus leaves: He's... He's friendzoning you so hard... He's projecting his attraction to you on someone who's like you...
Logan: I have to go. I'm going to smash something with a bat.
Logan, finishing ranting about how stupid it was: I wish I could give them a piece of my mind.
Remus: You were on the phone with them?
Logan: No, I was on the phone with their innocent secretary, who's just doing their job. I'm not gonna shoot the messenger. I'm gonna go to the corporate headquarters and shoot the CEO.
Remus: I have a gun.
Logan: What?
Remus: What?
Logan: ...That was a hyperbole. I'm not going to commit murder. It's eat the rich, not shoot the rich.
Remus: Haha yeah I know I'm joking
Logan: Remus why do you have a gun
Remus: I don't know what you mean—
Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!
Logan: *ends call*
Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—
Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.
Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?
Remus: No.
Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!
Logan: *ends call*
Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—
Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.
Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?
Remus: No.
Logan: Just... Explain to me how you do this.
Remus: Simple. Cinnamon? Delicious flavor. Not super strong like cloves. In my life I have never made anything too cinnamon-y. A lot of recipes fear spices, so you gotta use your own judgement.
Remus: 'That's close enough?' I measure with my heart is my answer, but in reality I'm a lazy bitch and don't want to measure out all those tablespoons and teaspoons and then wash all the extra dishes.
Remus: Salt? Salt doesn't make things salty until you add too much. When you add the right amount, it just makes things taste. It enhances the natural flavor. Almost always add salt.
Remus: Almond flour? Almond flour is literally finely ground almonds. As long as you don't accidentally make almond butter, you can totally make it yourself.
Remus: Adding cinnamon and chili powder to hot chocolate is how they do it sometimes in some places in Mexico, and frankly, it's delicious. I just add it to taste.
Logan: But how do you know?
Remus: Uh... Experience? Intuition?
Logan: I CAN'T LEARN THOSE!
Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.
- (Flashback) -
Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?
Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough
Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.
Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own
-
Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?
Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*
Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.
Remus: Why do they call it the birds and the bees when talking about procreation between people? Birds and bees aren't mammals. They're nothing like people. Do you know how a bird or bee reproduces? I just know they both lay eggs. So like, what?
Logan: *scoff* They call it—
Logan: They call it...
Logan: WAIT HANG ON