Latest Posts by idontlikethisaccount - Page 5

"It's called being FRESH, SEXY AND FUN, YOU FLESHSACK!"

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)

big muscle lesbians you are so fucking valid

i don’t know why anyone has to feel insecure about their bodies, when objectively, humans are all freakish horrors. Every last one of us. Hairless, fleshy, gangly beasts walking upright straight as a tree with bony tentacles on the ends of our limbs. 

you have a hole in your face full of sharp bones and you’re worried that your belly is a little squishy 

Btw I forgot about this poster due tomorrow and It's officially Not Printer Time so

I'm gonna be painting my poster on a big canvas I just have

If a hobo is sassy, she's just being insubordinate and might be a little drunk. But if a girl who's rocking the style is sassy, she's got the whole package.

- my second favorite line from the "how to be sassy" wikihow

My brain: full of heart? More like full of bladder haha

My body: . . . I'm so dehydrated please drink

My brain: ahahahahahahHHAHAHAHAHA can't hear you over my own lolling hahahah

I feel like a lot of people don’t want to ask questions they have about gender/sexuality to LGBT people because they don’t want to offend them because we talk about cishet people asking stupid or intrusive questions a lot

But actually when you’re questioning it’s really helpful to be able to ask some ‘stupid’ questions although you’re too afraid to

So can y'all LGBTQIA+ people reblog this if you’re totally fine with people asking questions about your gender/sexuality, as long as they do so respectfully

“Oh that animal doesn’t LIKE you it just TOLERATES you” …..So? If that’s the most a non-social organism can feel towards you isn’t that just as special an honor as whatever it is you think affection means??

Saying I'm too gay to understand math is honestly the only way I'm surviving this year man

Listen, I've made a deal with life. I violently flaunt being gay regardless of the consequences so there's no second-guessing, and the cute girl is supposed to acknowledge the five rainbow pins I'm wearing and make the move for me.

A very simplified overview over the 3 diagnosable types of ADHD. It’s highly likely that you have symptoms from across the spectrum and not exclusively “hyperactive” or “inattentive” - that’s why I see ADHD( and ADD) as one big family. Look up the DSM-V for the actual symptom list!

Yes, we all love a girl smiling, that's pretty, we all love when a girl winks, that's hot, and we all love when a girl blushes or pouts, that's cute, but we can all agree on ONE thing:

,,,,soft tiddies,,now that's just wonderful

A Halloween thing I forgot to post

It's my oc Adelaide as Kiki('s Delivery Service). I should've added more details but I also forgot lol

If this post get to 200,000 notes by my 18th birthday (November 3rd 2020) I'll get my profile pic tattoo...

I'll get that little guy tattoo

It's official I'm dating my vibraphone she's my girlfriend now

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

"I remember you were a horrible singer."

“And I can’t believe you were actually a really good one. Seriously, what are the odds? Knife juggling was kind of overboard, though.”

“I don’t do things halfway.”

trees are so good, oxygen AND leaf, sometimes fruit even. there's nothing more you could want

“Can’t decide if I need a hug, an xl coffee, 6 shots of vodka or two weeks of sleep.”

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

This is how shit feels lately

Every time you smell a flower, you're smelling it's cooch

how to kiss a boy

grab his waist

slip your hand in his pocket

steal his wallet

dont even kiss him

just run

If my cat were here, I'd ask him what a landmark is.

What a guy actually means when he says he's bouta take a nap:

N - naturally

A - ascending

P - penor

Your body is like a cake. Each part is an ingredient, like flour or butter. While it might not taste that good by itself, when you put it all together, you find a sweet and beautiful dessert 💚

rb this with ur opinion on this shade of pink:

The tv shows I watched as a kid strongly led me to believe I'd have an arch nemesis by now