Latest Posts by avaincorrectquoter - Page 4

Yellow: Did you take out Purple as I requested?

Green: Purple has been taken out, yes.

Yellow: You have my grat-

Green: It was a great restaurant.

Green: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Green: Purple proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

Chosen: Be careful about succumbing to these sorts of destructive... urges. Addiction can be a powerful thing.

Dark: So am I. Bow down before your new supreme overlord, bitches.

Green: I think we can all agree I’m the ten amongst these threes.

Yellow: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Green: 'Prettiest Smile'

Second: 'Nicest Personality'

Dark: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Chosen: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Blue: Yellow has no idea I’m high.

Yellow: You’re high?

Blue: Oh, I’m sorry.

Blue, leaning over to Green: Yellow has no idea I’m high.

Chosen: There's no way they like me back.

Yellow: Dark would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Chosen: Dark would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

Yellow: I am charging my phone in school secretly.

Yellow: Mastermind over here.

Chosen: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Dark: Hey, Chosen.

Chosen: GODDAMNIT!

Green: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Yellow will and will not eat.

Red: Grass? Yes!

Green: Moss? Yes!!

Red: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Green: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Red: Worms? Sometimes!

Green: Rocks? Usually nah.

Red: Twigs? Usually!

Green: Blue's cooking? Inconclusive!

Second: How did you… test this?

Green: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Second: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Chosen: *sees someone doing something stupid*

Chosen: What an idiot.

Chosen: *realizes it's Dark*

Chosen: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Primal: Ballista is a little bitch.

Hazard: Why?

Primal: Number one, they're little. Number two, they're a bitch.

Purple: Green, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Green: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

Dark: Quick! You must come with me! You're in great danger!

Second: Why?!

Dark: Because I’ll kill you if you don’t.

Blue: Last night I found out Yellow is a sleep talker.

Second: Oh, really?

Blue: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Chosen: I want to kiss you.

Dark, not paying attention: What?

Chosen: I said if you die, I won't miss you.

Purple: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

Dark: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Dark: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Dark: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Chosen: This is Monopoly.

Green: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Purple: Thanks, it’s the trauma.

Chosen: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Yellow: Any advice for being single on Valentine's Day?

Dark: Whenever you see a couple hugging, laughing, or kissing, walk up to one of them and scream "YOU CHEATER, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, YOU BETRAYED ME" then slap them and run away crying. That should be interesting.

Yellow:

Yellow: I like the way you think.

Purple: Valentine's Day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart-shaped chocolates for their significant oth-

Green: I wrote you a song.

Purple, already crying: You did?

Dark: Love is a weakness, an evolutionary mistake.

Second: You're literally making a Valentine's Day card for Chosen right now.

Dark: *pointing a glue gun at him* you're on fucking thin ice kid.

Chosen: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Dark: What changed your mind?

Chosen: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

King: Are you having another depressive episode?

Purple: A depressive episode?

Purple: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Dark: WHO THE FUCK-

Second: Whoa, language!

Dark: I speak fucking English!

Second: ...

Purple, in Green’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night?

Green, knocking Purple off: WHAT THE HELL?!

Purple: Ow—

Green: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!

Purple: I had a nightmare.

Green: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?

Purple: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Green, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!

Purple: That is not what I meant—

Green: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!

Purple: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.

Green: Yeah, okay-

Purple: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?

Green: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while.

Purple, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!

Green: I did not consent to this-

Purple, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!

Green, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-seven.

Dark: I prevented a murder today.

Second: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?

Dark: Self-control.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Purple: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Red: ...I did. I broke it.

Purple: No. No you didn't. Green?

Green: Don't look at me. Look at Yellow.

Yellow: What?! I didn't break it.

Green: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Yellow: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Green: Suspicious.

Yellow: No, it's not!

Second: If it matters, Blue was the last one to use it.

Blue: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Red: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Purple.

Purple: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Green: Purple... Yellow's been awfully quiet.

Yellow: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Purple, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Purple: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Purple:

Purple: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Dark: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?

Purple: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

Red: That sounds like a challenge.

Purple: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Red: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Purple: There is no challenge!