Calling every chronic illness a "disability", is low-key stupid, don't y'all think like that? It is almost as if y'all tried to put a label on everything you don't understand. Sometimes, illnesses can, just... Not fit in your expectations. And y'all should accept it. Repeat after me, "Not every chronic illness is a disability!".
I feel like all my friends are tired from me, and praying for me committing suicide
And yet again nobody cares about my hobbies or how I feel. I'm just an ICD code. Right. Just forgot.
The doctors had been neglecting me for more than a year, and the day after yesterday I casually had tremors, though I needed to stand up. It wasn't too hard, though I walked like a soldier, cuz my legs were too stiff. And yesterday and today, I noticed a glue-like feeling in my joints, as if some liquid was there, plus it's SO FUCKING PAINFUL to bend it... It starts to hurt, burn and the glue feeling gets worse.... I don't know what to do... Looks like I ended up damaged due to the malpractice of doctors!
I'm so tired of feeling nothing. I'm not sad nor happy. It's just... Emptiness?
Sometimes it amuses me how if epileptic will have 6 seizures in one day, they will be hospitalised immediately and given treatment, while with dyskensias they just... Give the "Well, damn, but you're conscious during seizures." Yeah, I am, but why the fuck I had 6 in a row?? Sometimes, I think that tearing my ligament wouldn't be as hard as getting treatment, lol.
To be honest, I feel kinda remorseful for making posts with hashtags like "disabled" and others. Why? Because thinking about my diseases constantly only worsens my mental health. I literally was about to go back to cutting or mutilating my body. Plus, I don't really think that I'm like... Disabled? Like my symptoms aren't enough to be called disabled or something... So, I think that I won't be making posts like this anymore... Or do them rarely. Hope y'all will understand. Thanks for being with me in those times. Take care of yourself.
I hope that I'll get hit by a car<3
I want to commit suicide.
Okay, I got used to relapse after few days of school, but.... WHY THE F#CK I RELAPSED ON HOLIDAYS? I can't describe how much I wanna cut my arms in a bl!!dy mess, I can't describe how much I wanna make deep cuts, but... I'm still afraid of my self-h!!rm being discovered... Especially if it'll see my teachers, neurologist, parents, etc... I just don't get this feeling when I cut my legs:(. Also I'm self-h!!rm!ng about 7 months, lol
People with anor!!x!@ can you tell me how did it start? And how much weight do I need to lose?
(Height: 160. Weight: 43 kg)
A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
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