I have no idea what's happening with me. I don't know why but I started to want to lose some weight, and be skinner, even though my weight is 46 kg with a height of 160 cm. And I'll try to do it, I wanna weigh 43 kg or 40... I also will try to do exercises and eat not too much... I hate my body.
I talked with my parents about that I wanna die, but they started to judge me. Today I understood that nobody needs me, and I'm not need to stay here in this world. I want to commit suicide, and I will commit suicide, maybe on my funerals they will understand that I wasn't okay?:)
"It's just a phase. You just haven't got enough activities!"
So 3 years of suicidal thoughts it's a joke for you? Are you REALLY SURE that I haven't got depression or other mental illness? Ok, then. We'll watch what my BRAIN CELLS will say on it.
(I really hope that my electroencephalography will show that I'm NOT OKAY. Maybe, some people and bots are right, that I may suffering from depression...)
1000 or at least 100 or 50 likes on this post, and I'm buying him
Maybe, my weight is a dream for someone, but I think that I'm fat. I weigh only 46, but I still think that I'm fat. I want to lose 6 kg, and I don't really care that these workouts are exhausting. I wanna be skinny, and I'll do it, and I don't care if it's unhealthy. I want to eat only 500 calories a day, or at least 800, because 1000 is too much. I wanna do 5 workouts today and I already did two. I want to be skinny – I will be skinny.
And still, I'm curious how an appointment which I used to go to every week a few months ago, turned into something I'm afraid of. Making me have flashbacks over and over when I just hear the word "neurologist. Made me have a whole panic attack just because I need to go to a doctor. No, please, I don't want to be treated anymore... Can't you just avoid me? Don't remember about my disease? Make me live a normal life?
"you should be proud of being woma–" SHUT UP. YOU CAN BE PROUD OF IT, BUT DON'T FORCE ME. I HATE BEING IN FEMALE BODY, I DON'T WANNA BE WOMAN, THIS BODY MAKES ME SAD!
Trying to dump my sufferings to feel healthy again. I can't bear it anymore.
I'm so tired of feeling nothing. I'm not sad nor happy. It's just... Emptiness?
"Are you okay? I noticed that you lost weight..."
Changing an icon/the whole profile/phone decor feels like making a new self
A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
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