Maybe, My Weight Is A Dream For Someone, But I Think That I'm Fat. I Weigh Only 46, But I Still Think
Maybe, my weight is a dream for someone, but I think that I'm fat. I weigh only 46, but I still think that I'm fat. I want to lose 6 kg, and I don't really care that these workouts are exhausting. I wanna be skinny, and I'll do it, and I don't care if it's unhealthy. I want to eat only 500 calories a day, or at least 800, because 1000 is too much. I wanna do 5 workouts today and I already did two. I want to be skinny – I will be skinny.
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Nah-uh, I'm the issue
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I'm afraid that I won't pass my exams... In 9 grade, I'll have exams, which will help me to go in 10 grade, but... I have serious issues with maths... I'm afraid that if I won't pass it, I'll go and commit suicide. Somewhere, deep, in my soul, I don't want die cuz of it. But I feel like I will and like I should.
But... Even if I'll commit suicide, people will just forget me, and I'll be just a random kid, that made grave for themselves. I... I have no idea what to do...
I want to commit suicide.
"you should be proud of being woma–" SHUT UP. YOU CAN BE PROUD OF IT, BUT DON'T FORCE ME. I HATE BEING IN FEMALE BODY, I DON'T WANNA BE WOMAN, THIS BODY MAKES ME SAD!
I have no idea what's happening with me. I don't know why but I started to want to lose some weight, and be skinner, even though my weight is 46 kg with a height of 160 cm. And I'll try to do it, I wanna weigh 43 kg or 40... I also will try to do exercises and eat not too much... I hate my body.
To be honest, I feel kinda remorseful for making posts with hashtags like "disabled" and others. Why? Because thinking about my diseases constantly only worsens my mental health. I literally was about to go back to cutting or mutilating my body. Plus, I don't really think that I'm like... Disabled? Like my symptoms aren't enough to be called disabled or something... So, I think that I won't be making posts like this anymore... Or do them rarely. Hope y'all will understand. Thanks for being with me in those times. Take care of yourself.
I've never thought that I'd listen to the lemon demon, I used to think that it was some boring and lame music with aggressive fans, but right now.... I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO TOUCH-TONE TELEPHONE AND KNIFE FIGHT, HELL, I LEARNT THE WHOLE TTT LYRICS IN 2 DAYS, AND I'M LITERALLY WAKING UP TO IT EVERY DAY (Ig my neighbours already hate hearing "I TRY TO CALL YOU EVERYDAY, I'M REHEARSING WHAT TO SAY" every morning) BUT DAAAMN, I DIDN'T EXPECT FOR LEMON DEMON TO BE THIS GOOD
I don't understand how people can compare humanitarian sciences and Natural Sciences, it's DIFFERENT things, DIFFERENT!
I wish I could vent to someone... Or at least be hugged. I can't I'm turning into a whimpering mess, all covered in snot, tears, saliva and feeling nauseous. I hate myself
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andr3yvishn3vsky reblogged this · 1 year ago
A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
171 posts