Human Domestication Guide - Blog Posts
Realizes hdg is a thing and immediatelly gets obsessed because what the fuck Ive Been looking for this for literal ages
With that being said
(eyestrain warning) (I dont know How to represent flower mommies/daddies/whatever the fuck is mommy even a gendered term at this point, in my style warning)
(the coolest shit ever(plant))
(disgusting worm /pos)
Also theres a cow being abducted
I love the dichotomy that the Affini. The physcosexual horror and fantasy need to be shown together more. I cannot explain it with words.
Gorgon affini w/ a hive mind floret. Every statue in her lair is a body for the floret. She picks a new body to play with every day
i have a vested interest in as many transfems reading the human domestication guide as possible
i need a cat
i just had a family dinner and people were talking about their dogs for a bunch of it and the whole time i was thinking about HDG and thinking about it like affini talking about their florets and i had to like physically restrain myself from saying anything
i am losing it
I accidentally convinced my therapist of 6 months to read Human Domestication Guide today after gushing about it a little.
How cooked am I???
I used to play video games. Now that I discovered HDG I don't play video games anymore because the average story I read is a more fulfilling experience than anything on my steam library rn. It's nice to find media that appeals to me on this level. The cognitohazard thing wasn't a joke tho these stories have taken up all the space in my brain. I haven't touched Reddit in days.
thoughts rn:
lydia: i need her to crush me a shes a spider
rose (affini): i need to collar her
A segment from the hdg fic im writing.
tws for ego death as well as normal hdg stuff.
A floret stares out the window. No thoughts run through their mind, only empty, blissful pleasure at anything and everything. The thing can’t tell where “I” begin and Nova ends, or even if an “I” or an “we” exist. There is no panic or shock, only pleasure. Something can’t tell if it likes this. That fact brings pleasure to the trembling body.
Something look outside. There are florets and their affini walking in the nearby park. There are rows and rows of pretty flowers. The ember sky paints everything in gorgeous yellows and oranges. In the tree closest to the hab there is a blue bird. An affini grabs it and puts it in a cage. They give it to their pet. The floret plays with it gently.
Something sings “Just like that blue bird...” It is out of tune and off-beat. The words are slurred to incomprehensibility. That’s a big word that A thing forgot the meaning of. It must not be important.
An affini and their floret are playing with a beautiful blue bird in a cage. The blue contrasts the reddening false sky of the hab ring.
Something sings “Just like that blue bird.” It took several seconds to get it out, although time is now meaningless. Only bliss remains in the thing’s head.
A floret pets a blue bird. If something could focus, it might be able to hear it chirping. Focus doesn’t exist now.
Something sings “blue bird.” It takes more and more effort to speak. There is no need to speak, the only thing that it needs to do is be a good pet for mistress.
A blue bird.
Something moans in tune to a song that was once its favourite. The concept of “favourites” left its mind a long time ago.
Blue bird.
He got his release. Something will not, and it knows it won’t in a deep part of their brain kept locked down by the xenodrugs.
And then, there was nothing. There doesn’t need to be anything. There was only happiness, unending and infinite. And something saw that it was good.
thoughts right now
lydia: weh imm a puppy
evelyn: we NEED to eat something
rose: we NEED to domesticate her
:3 :3
Reblog with a :3 to get called a cute little floret in your asks
(If you don’t have anonymous asks on I’ll have to use my main)
Reblog if you
1. Want to get pegged by a 9-15 foot tall plant women
2. Your Flort looks REALLY cute right now
Or
3. You could absolutely DEVOUR some garlic bread right now
But don’t say which one it is
floret needs uppies
i can believe i'm actually saying this about erotica, but the human domestication guide universe gives me hope and comfort no other media has. thank you everyone in the community yall mean the world <3
me taking the drugs that makes you happy and horny when you touch plampt (Class As)
i can believe i'm actually saying this about erotica, but the human domestication guide universe gives me hope and comfort no other media has. thank you everyone in the community yall mean the world <3
you're just gotta accept like i did that you're horny for plants now like a good floret, sorry not sorry
okay so guys how do I get hdg out of my head, like actually, the plants are in my brain, please I don't want to be horny for plants
it's honestly a crime that i haven't be florted yet.
but god to be filled with xenodrugs and taken care of for the rest of your life by a tall, kind owner is the dream
Born too late to explore the earth Born too early to be domesticated by a 5 meter tall plant
Reblog if you
A) want a plant inside you
B) want to be inside a plant
C) want a girl inside you
D) want garlic bread inside you
E) all of the above in that order
F) all of the above
Howdy do, fellow humans, plants, and everyone else who lives in my phone. I’m going through some mental stuff rn and I’m trying not to spiral!!! Fun!!! Anyway I’m gonna post the notes I have for the main Affini in my fic because I have to do something to keep my mind occupied. She hasn’t appeared a single time in the text yet, these are just the notes I have for her. They were mostly notes for me to remember details about her, so it’s not exactly formatted in a specific way
Clemency “Clem” Suasia, Sixth Bloom
Based on Brugmansia suaveolens (also where I got her last name from)
Origin plant derivative: paralysis, confusion, hallucinations, increased heart rate, eye dilation, ego-death
Flowers have a sweet scent, strongest in the evening
Lick the leaves for a big high!
Likes rain, lots of water, and warm temps
She has many white flowers that function as eyes, look kinda like security cameras. She has quite a few of them, so her field of vision is whatever she feels like. Each flower has 5 petals in a vague star-shaped pattern. When she gets flustered, the ends of the petals turn pink. When she gets angry (usually at the systems that keep sophonts in horrible, outdated work conditions), the red from her eyes can sometimes bleed into the petals a little.
Her “face” is just a wooden mask-like plate. It has no eyes, just sockets, and the mouth creaks when she smiles harder. Sometimes you can see thorny teeth behind it. She sometimes puts her flowers through the eyeholes of the mask if she’s trying to make someone laugh. Also, she can extend the mask with vines, but it’s still attached to her “head”
Upper body is fairly humanoid by design, with wooden ‘plates’ that cover her vines and overlap closely, giving the general appearance of a feminine body. She doesn’t really have joints, so her arms can bend backwards and in odd ways that wouldn’t be possible normally. They can also extend!
Has 4 arms. One is her ‘normal’ pair, with only a single elbow ‘joint,’ but she has a second pair folded up against her back, almost like wings. These arms have 2 joints, like a praying mantis. Her normal arms have 6 fingers on each hand; four fingers and two thumbs, while her mantis arms are used primarily for the purpose of manipulating tools, and as such do not possess any fingers aside from small, prehensile vines that allow for much more precise movements.
Lower body is very freeform. She doesn’t like being bipedal, and prefers to spread her vines out. When she moves, she almost appears to glide over the ground with a rustling of foliage. These smaller ‘locomotion vines’ are concealed within a dress-like cocoon of thick graft leaves capable of producing heat. She had these grafted for the sole excuse of being able to dry her Florets off herself after a bath instead of using a towel.
As an added bonus, you can also have this little doodle I tried to do of what her flowers might look like! I’m not an artist, so it’s probably not very good, but I hope you enjoy regardless
I’m so cooked. It’s over. It’s actually never been more over than this. I’m so florted it’s unbelievable. It’s a cognitohazard. The human mind is a finite and breakable construction subject to the whims of our betters. Where is my space plant mommy please please please
I am now 1,500 words deep into a HDG fic. Will post chapter 1 to Ao3 and link once it’s done! I already have a lot of the general storyline mapped out, which is VERY odd for me. Knowing the Affini always win is very comforting as a writer, because I know what’s going to happen, I just need to write how.
If I utilize my ‘new fandom brainrot’ ability, I should be able to get at least 2 to 3 chapters done fairly quick before my brain shuts down and I go into writer’s block. Wish me luck, y’all! Also, feel free to ask me about the fic. I just don’t wanna bother people
Ok, the things I’ve heard about this fandom being a cognitohazard for trans women are not wrong. I’ve woken up the past few days imagining vines curling over my thighs and I’ve already changed the reminder on my phone for my HRT to ‘Take your Xenodrugs.’ What is HAPPENING to me??? How was it so easy???
Tripped and fell into the HDG fandom. As a trans woman, it might be over for me. I’m stuck between wishing I was an Affini so I could spoil all the people who are basically my florets, and wishing that a big strong plant woman would pump me full of Xenodrugs and just let me walk through life in a drugged-out haze
Join the cognito hazard
Diary of an Awkward trans-girl : Day 23 —What the hell is HDG?
Dear Diary,
Okay, so I have this ridiculously adorable trans friend— @sapphothecutewitch who is the kind of cute chaos that makes your gay little soul panic just a bit. She’s a total menace in the most affectionate, gremlin-coded way possible. She’s been trying to get me into this fandom called HDG. I still don’t even really know what it is—some kind of anime or visual novel or fever dream of queer feelings and unhinged energy? But every time she brings it up, it’s with that little sparkle in her eye like she knows something I don’t.
She swears I’d love it. Says it’s got “everything a soft little weirdo like you would love.” Which, rude… but also maybe true?
And the worst part is—I trust her taste. That’s the dangerous bit. Like, I know if I let her show me even one character or plotline, it’s over. I’ll spiral. I’ll fall. She’ll smirk. I’ll be in too deep and she’ll get to say “I told you so,” probably while teasing me with a knowing look.
As a trans girl who’s already got a tendency for obsessive little hyperfixations and emotionally intense friendships that maybe toe the line a little (okay, a lot)… this could be my downfall. And honestly? That’s starting to sound kind of appealing.
Maybe I want to be pulled into a new fandom by a girl who giggles a little too hard. Maybe I want to watch her ramble about her favorite characters while I try (and fail) to understand her. Maybe I want something silly and passionate and weird I can chat with to someone like me.
Affini kisses are *TOTALLY* underrated!!!
The feeling of vines holding your head in place, vines snaking down your throat...
Don't get me started on the xenodrugies, personally an A + N combo is INSANE with kisses!!!
Oooohhh kayy
Turns out, uhhhhh...
Plants....
ITHINKPLANTSAREEVERYHOTANDAHHHHHHHH!!!!