The Strong Urge To Go Be A Bitch

I'm scared i won't be me after this. I'm scared I'll lose myself. my sanity is hanging by a thread for real

fleabag and Claire... fuck them god

Am I gonna feel lonely for the rest of my life... It's the one feeling I think I am familiar with since the beginning of my life

signed my fate to the devil today

i can't take this. i can't take this. why birth me if im not what you desired. you should have known better than to give birth to me, you are a fool.

im sorry I'm sorry ik im the monster but you can't blame. you made me, you are the reason I'm like this, you will always be the reason I'm like this

i miss reading

too in my head. so many lies. a fucked up individual. attention seeker. easily forgettable. hard to love.

Why does when something happens I have to limit myself, why can't I just fucking not ruin everything for myself

i am only now realising how i am actually NOT a neurotypical, and it's so fucking hard being here. this is the worst place to be at if you are not a perfect human being lol. there's not an ounce of empathy, no understanding. it's so hard being a human here. i want to go home. never thought i could miss that place, but here im literally in tears while i write this. even when i get invalidated it wasnt THIS bad lol

kind of wanna disappear again, off the planet. forever. kind of wanna go back to old habits. wanna make everyone know that i still am indeed fucked in the head