I'm Scared I Won't Be Me After This. I'm Scared I'll Lose Myself. My Sanity Is Hanging By A Thread For

i hate it here, like always thought no place hell like home but LMAOOO they are proving me wrong here.

i indeed have grossly estimated my place in everyone's life

fleabag and Claire... fuck them god

man i hate myself

too in my head. so many lies. a fucked up individual. attention seeker. easily forgettable. hard to love.

i was my mother's daughter. it was me.

it was me. it was always me.

i can't take this. i can't take this. why birth me if im not what you desired. you should have known better than to give birth to me, you are a fool.

im sorry I'm sorry ik im the monster but you can't blame. you made me, you are the reason I'm like this, you will always be the reason I'm like this

i wonder if she knows i stopped switching our blankets. i wonder if she knows i stopped stealing her sarees. i wonder if she knows that id do anything to just get a hold of either of those right this very moment. i wonder if she felt hurt when she found out, i wonder if she'll feel awful when she finds out.

i wonder if i want her to.

yeah, i do. guess i really am after all my mother's daughter.

sigh here goes nothing I guess. i am done, fully done

kind of wanna disappear again, off the planet. forever. kind of wanna go back to old habits. wanna make everyone know that i still am indeed fucked in the head