Man I Hate Myself

please don't speak or be friendly with anyone. please don't let yourself loose again. please just focus on yourself. please don't think anyone's your family. please don't play the savior, when you yourself can't get out of your own hell. please be selfish. please please be selfish. i beg you. please just focus on yourself. don't for any chance speak about yourself, don't give yourself to anyone here anymore. enough. just a year. we'll get out of here. we can. we'll do it. everything will be okay.

Everyone who knew me since an infant describes me as this lonely child who kept to themself. I guess mom is right, maybe I have been broken since the day I was born

too in my head. so many lies. a fucked up individual. attention seeker. easily forgettable. hard to love.

need to make an emotional support bts playlist soon, the one i had is missing lmfao

idk how I'm gonna do any of this. im really not fit for this world. i hate how i have to go through life, try to find happiness or dream or peace or whatever that fucking keeps me alive.

how am I supposed to do any of that? why can't they just hand it down, why must even peace be given to someone only after going through hell? so we'd know what peace is?

to be unhappy to know what happiness is like?

and fuck me for still being here, fucking coward

I feel frustrated by Megumi's scars... I love this concept, but... ugh...

I also think Megumi is having a really hard time with everything that happened to him, and I really wanted to draw that.

you are not here to prove. you are here to take, then run away. don't care. never mind. never fucking mind. just take and go. just go forward. stop thinking for fucks sake. stop arguing. there's no point. this not the place to fight for, you have other places that you have to, but not here. be a fake ass you dumb fuck

okay okay okay

everything will be alright

everything will be alright

everything will be alright

that's the first ever time I felt bad for thinking how much I want to die. I still want to die, I don't wanna live. I don't think anyone would miss me or be that wounded nor do I care. but this woman...

i am only now realising how i am actually NOT a neurotypical, and it's so fucking hard being here. this is the worst place to be at if you are not a perfect human being lol. there's not an ounce of empathy, no understanding. it's so hard being a human here. i want to go home. never thought i could miss that place, but here im literally in tears while i write this. even when i get invalidated it wasnt THIS bad lol