I Was My Mother's Daughter. It Was Me.

learning the art of shutting up.

i wonder if she knows i stopped switching our blankets. i wonder if she knows i stopped stealing her sarees. i wonder if she knows that id do anything to just get a hold of either of those right this very moment. i wonder if she felt hurt when she found out, i wonder if she'll feel awful when she finds out.

i wonder if i want her to.

yeah, i do. guess i really am after all my mother's daughter.

i am only now realising how i am actually NOT a neurotypical, and it's so fucking hard being here. this is the worst place to be at if you are not a perfect human being lol. there's not an ounce of empathy, no understanding. it's so hard being a human here. i want to go home. never thought i could miss that place, but here im literally in tears while i write this. even when i get invalidated it wasnt THIS bad lol

i miss reading

i don't see a happy life ahead of me. I wish for a peaceful one but I don't see that either. it probably should be concerning how suicidal I'm being everyday. why should I try when ik my path is only going to be full of despair? why can't I end it earlier, I wanna put a stop to this. too late to apologise, too late to ask for help, don't think too late to be saved but no one will. maybe that's my tragedy that everyone could use to feel bad after I'm long gone

I wish I could have told you I missed you too but I didn't wanna lose my dignity more than I did with you

being here i tend to forget home is just another place filled with infuriating people

Not gonna lie friends. I would like to feel desired and feel like someone’s first choice

im gonna fucking kill myself. im so fucking serious

Why does when something happens I have to limit myself, why can't I just fucking not ruin everything for myself