WHY DO ELKS SOUND LIKE THAT HOLY FUCK

i have never been hungover bc im built different but this morning i woke up with a very sharp headache and a general awfulness in my body which feels very reminiscent of how people describe hangovers however i did not drink yesterday, i dressed up as hatsune miku in a silly christmas outfit and hung out in a big room of nerds

need a joint or a lobotomy

right now, somewhere in the world, there is a beautiful person scrolling tumblr.

tragically though, this beautiful person has a headache. their head hurts.

this is very unfair to them. they are very pretty, but for no reason their head is hurting.

if you know of anybody scrolling tumblr right now, who might have a bit of a headache, please ask them to take an ibuprofen, drink some water, do whatever might make them feel better.

it is tragic that such a beautiful person has a headache. the world is a vampire. I can only hope that this message may reach them

my fucked up rib won't stop me from wearing corsets, the stabbing pain shan't make me less of a whore

hey, [puts my hand on your shoulder, nods solemnly] get a lip piercing.

The day I learn to :3 irl is the day the whole world bends to my will

Who that man

i just ate a giant pomegranate in my bed using my axe #livingmybestlife

people in my dreams are so mean sometimes...i created you dude, can you chill?

im like if an elderly man was barely a legal adult. im always complaining about back pain and being eccentric and walking off injuries instead of going to the doctor and using weird sayings and getting annoyed when people interrupt my daily rituals. but also i need to lie about my age on US alcohol websites

i am experiencing a negative aftermath from the states of consciousness speedrun

playing a fun game of caffeine vs melatonin or as i like to call it "states of consciousness speedrun"