Latest Posts by auggieoof - Page 3

I fw old plushies so hard you guys don't understand. I have furbies, beanie babies, I have so so many plushies that I'm surrounded by them on my bed at all times

^^^

My family watches fox news bc of course they do and they find the grief of immigrants funny bc fox news tells them to think that. I cannot watch them watch it, it makes me feel fucking sick frankly. I have to put in my earbuds and block it out because it's so awful.

It's like these conservatives find these people to be pests. My brothers in Christ they are literally just trying to live please be normal for fucking once

Because we have to talk in code about this on tiktok, I'm here to help spread some helpful tips to all my American anti-fascists out here who may need it. If you see police car that looks like this, (predominant blue stripe),

This is an ICE car. They are out and about right now hunting down immigrants, legal and illegal.

If you see them- or really, any police car- lurking, scream at the top of your lungs.

"La Migra"

Help save a family.

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

The biggest example of someone not understanding a simple message of a KIDS show is when I saw "Fluttershy hates lesboys, be like Fluttershy!" I'm sorry but it is "friendship is magic" not "queer discourse is magic" she would not give a fuck, what are you talking about.

A meme I made, inspired by a Nyazsche comic

[/ID a comic where Donald Trump points to someone with a shirt that says "random trans person", and he says "You are an enemy of the state. I am actually going to murder you." The random trans person in return says "my brother in Christ, I am literally just a person,,," Comic inspired by a Nyazche comic about two cats. The cat with the propeller hat says "do you like my silly hat?" And the other cat replies "you are an enemy of Christ." The caption above says "this is what being a trans person feels like". /END ID]

Diary Entry #25 (one mostly about something not trans-related... yay?)

I was stimming so much at work today. Or maybe ticcing or whatever bc I couldn't stop. It exhausted me more than actually working my shift. I wasn't feeling any particular way, I just got a bad stim/tic day just for some random reason ig.

My main tics/stims rn are sighing really deep, cracking my elbows, and inhaling hard with my nose. It probably looks really weird but I can't really help it. I guess that'd be more of a tic than a stim? I don't know if you can have tics without tourette's, i think I read that somewhere but like. i'm not sure.

I worry that I'll freak people out more whenever I pass as male or even as a trans male. I think it's worth the price of being seen as myself, it's just a minor concern i have. I'm really talkative and I worry about freaking out women. I don't act like a creep obviously, but I do appear autistic to most people and I am aware that people can be uncomfortable with me, even though I look like a girl.

If anyone with tics/stims can help me out here that'd be appreciated. I don't really know the difference.

Lolcow culture is so fucking weird dude. Like these (mostly neurodivergent) people are being told to do horrible things to themselves and/or others because "it's funny". It's so strange. I stand by my opinion, even though I made a post on reddit and deleted it because I was scared of kiw1farms finding it and making me into a lolcow (it's something I worry a lot about, because I am autistic and sometimes end up posting stupid stuff), and half of the people in the autism meme sub I was on disagreed with me.

Kiw1farms scares the fuck out of me tbh. I used to be interested in lolcows and stuff, but I realize that it's really strange and probably stupid to watch someone degrade over time, it feels like I'm participating in something awful by even watching it. (I never was a lolcow forum user, but I used to watch videos on it.)

Sorry this is long and kind of off topic, but I agree with your post a lot.

at this point I'm on the side of the people who draw fat furry art and view my body as attractive over the people who openly try to condemn that art and who always ironically ends up being into lolcow stuff and other puritanical bullshit.

There will not be much of my own art on this blog unless it specifically relates to my transition journey. Which is what this one is. It is my current daily mantra and what I tell myself every day on the calendar I cross off as each sleep brings me closer to meeting the folks that will give me some of these scars. Which is why I put in multiple examples in different colors. Because I will die scarred, not scared.

Feel free to print and distribute this image

Tw mild sui joke warning,

My grandma showed me a satire account about a person with a cat-identifying kid! She said she knew it was satire but "pEoPlE aRe CrAzY nOwAdAyS!!!!¡"

Should I:

A. kms

or,

B. kms

(She knows that I am trans, but she may think I've "grown out of it" because I'm scared of her bc of shit like this and saying I'm not a boy so I never mention it anymore)

yes I'm now on the other side of top surgery and I'm allowed to lift things again 💪 You might have already seen this one on my substack -- did u know you can subscribe to my substack for early access to comics like this?! Sent directly to your email inbox??? FOR FREE????? (there is also an optional paid tier for exclusive bonus content for five bucks a month but like 80% of my posts will be free and publicly available) ty ily♥

the song made me giggle a lil as a trans guy

Diary Entry #24: I am losing my mind send help :)))

Reading Becoming A Visible Man by Jamison Green. It's a fucking awesome book, I recommend any trans person read it (especially transmascs and trans men). I use Hoopla to read books free and without my grandparents finding out about it. (You use your library card.)

Tw dysphoria/mild anatomy terms? below cut

But besides that my day was awful, solely due to dysphoria. I had to stop singing to myself at work because I got too dysphoric about my voice (usually with my voice I pretend that it's coming from somewhere else other than myself, but something made me be unable to pretend for a second and I freaked out), kept having to adjust my bra because it doesn't fit right (making me aware that I have breasts, sometimes I forget), and I kept on seeing men that were enviable, gender-wise, which reminds me that I'm stuck in this body I don't want.

I might call the Trans Lifeline tonight because I'm freaking out about the legislation being put in place, and I haven't been using good coping mechanisms so I'm not having a great time.

It feels like everyday the dysphoria gets worse and I don't know what to do. I just want to feel like a man already, but it's hard to do so.

Diary entry #23

Tw sui and general panic (?), transphobia

Oh shit oh fuck they've banned HRT for minors. I'm not a minor but the amount of damage they'll be able to do to minors scares the fuck out of me. If you are a minor who's trans and wants to take HRT, I am so so sorry.

I'm a diagnosed autistic adult, what if they take it away from me too??? I don't know how I could survive that. I don't think I could. If that comes on the news, they may as well be sharing the date that I'll die.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I fucking hate Trump and his goons so much.

I'm hoping I can do DIY HRT if it comes to that. If they ban it for autistic adults, it's not automatically a death sentence, but I can see the way that it could lead to my death and thousands of others.

I don't really want to think about it, but what choice do I have? This is my future!

If I didn't procrastinate my moving out so much, maybe I would've been okay.

I hope the ACLU or something saves us. I can only hope.

Diary entry #22

I'm learning how to drive still but it's taking too long. My days are meaningless, everyday not living as myself is killing me. I know it'll get better but holy shit waiting is horrible. Every day is pointless, I'm hardly making progress and I hate it. My sister is failing her classes and it's giving me panic attacks because I worry about her and my grandparents are mad at her.

If I can get out by my birthday, that's what I want. It's in the middle of August, hence my name. I don't think I can wait longer than that tbh. That's like 7 months away. God I hope I'm out by then. My days go by so quick, which makes my wait feel easier, but still.

I want to be on T so bad. I want to live my goddamn life for once, not the life others want for me. I want to wear a binder and cut my hair, I think if I could only do that life would be more bearable.

I don't know

DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY GOVERNMENT STUDY!

I also would like to share something: For the past 3 years, I have worked as a Survey Research Interviewer at a local University of mine under the Public Health department, meaning I call random numbers of people to see if they want to do a health survey or not. The surveys we do are done all across the U.S., and recently, the most common survey that we do (that is under the State's health department and the CDC) added questions regarding sexual orientation and gender identity.

I just want to tell you that if you don't want to do the survey, please say something like "You're not interested," "Take me out of your list," or "Don't call me again." You can even curse us out if you wish to. Because if you just hang up on us, then we are forced to call your number again in the future (probably that same week or month). But if you say anything that I listed, then we will take your number off the list immediately.

If you do want to do the survey, don't mention anything about you being queer or trans/nonbinary. You can lie to us because we have no choice but to code the answer you've told us. I personally skip the question about sexual orientation and gender identity to protect whoever I'm interviewing because even though the survey we do claims to be anonymous, I live in a red state so I'm not taking any chances.

Please do what it takes to protect yourself these next 4 years.

If they talk about Trump in a positive light one more goddamn time I am going to kill myself :) /hj

They still think that I'm on the Trump Train (what my grandpa calls it,,, *vomits*)

[ID: a crudely drawn person giving a thumbs up while crying. The caption says "Me trying not to scream but instead half-heartedly agree when my grandparents say shitty things /END ID]

This vid by Drew Gooden is incredibly informative and funny, and related to this. I recommend it

Also if you don't watch Drew Gooden watch him now he's awesome!!

TYSM!!

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

Yeah!! I know my art kinda sucks so I do appreciate tips on how to improve it lol /gen

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

soup...

I follow this lady on instagram who rescues cats, and i have been thinking about this video for literal months. behold the transformation of this wretched little beast

(x)

Spoilers for I Saw The Tv Glow under cut

This movie hit very deep for me, almost in a primal sense. I'm shaking typing this out and after watching it. I don't understand it 100% but I feel like the message hit me in some way that is hard to comprehend. I sketched this out very quickly, so that's why it kind of sucks.

It's hard to describe why I enjoyed it so much, but I throughly enjoyed it.

'People are panicking about AI tools the same way they did when the calculator was invented, stop worrying' cannot stress enough the calculator did not forcibly pervade every aspect of our lives, has such a low error rate it's a statistical anomaly when it does happen, isn't built on mass plagiarism, and does not obliterate the fucking environment when you use it. Be so fucking serious right now

2007

Diary Entry #21

This one is very angry and talking about transphobes (and also a brief mention of sui attempts/sh) so... i don't know here's your warning

I don't know why I'm so nice to my grandparents. Even in the letter I'm going to give to them when I move out I can't help but to let myself be a rug for everyone in my life.

I got my grandma a refurbished new phone. I got my grandpa very nice stuff too. I'm constantly being nice to them. Every time I'm nice to them a part of me reminds myself that these people abandoned the real me for being trans, essentially. They shut me down every single fucking time I try to tell them "THIS IS KILLING ME PLEASE GOD HELP."

There's nothing I could ever say to even let me do something simple like cutting my hair. They're too prideful, too concerned with their reputations.

They love deadname, they love her very much, but they despise August and wish that the true me would go away. But it won't, because of course it won't, because it's who I am. They would rather let me mutilate myself and try to kms than maybe, MAYBE listening to me.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just killed myself. I can't die a girl, but I have no idea what else would make them listen. And even then, they can console themselves with the false notion that they tried to save me. But it wouldn't be true, and we would've both known that.

They are nice 95% of the time but the ugliness of their ideologies shine through sometimes and disgusts me, and then I hate myself for being so stupid and thinking that they care. They care, but only in the sense that they care about deadname and not me. They couldn't even handle me when i thought I was a lesbian, what the fuck did I expect?

I keep on deluding myself that if I just say the right thing, if I try hard enough, if I'm agreeable enough, maybe they'd listen. But I know this isn't true, no matter how much I'd like it to be. I wish they were cruel more often, as awful as it sounds, so I had some leg to stand on, to not constantly doubt myself.

Every family member I've ever had has hates trans people, my aunts, uncles, father, grandmother/fathers, my cousins, everyone hates trans people. I don't know what we could've possibly done wrong to garner this horrible hatred.

I'm paranoid to come out to my coworkers because what if there's a transphobe among them and they report me? What then? I need to tell someone but there's no one to tell and it's tearing me apart from the inside.

I look at people on the street, at work, etc. and I know that statistically a lot of them hate me based on who I am. It's a terrible life to live, I don't want it but I have to. There's no one to help.

Did you know that Jerry Seinfeld, as a teenager in highschool, was a charity worker and helped out a bunch of people? Look up "Jerry Seinfeld highschooler" for more info!! :)))

Harvey Ball- creator of The Smiley Face