Testosterone - Blog Posts

I have seen many accounts for trans people who cannot afford their testosterone or the surgeries and they ask for monetary help, they are always GoFundMe's but I am Venezuelan and live in Colombia so I don't know how I can ask that kind of help (I cannot afford even the doctor's appointment, I am just taking T whenever I can and hopping nothing bad comes out of it) do any of you know how I can get monetary help for T, doctor appointments and/or surgery?

I am sorry if you find this post distasteful but I am really desperate and hope to get some help in this case...

The genderfluid urge to do T and become a drag queen

IM SO JEALOUS OF GUYS ON HRT I WANNA BE ON HRT SO BAD FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO PROMISE MY MOM I WOULDNT START UNTIL I STARTED THERAPY THERAPISTS ARE SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE IM HAVING SO MUCH GENDER ENVY GOD I WANNA LOOK MORE MASCULINE SO BADLY OH MY GOD

Asking about T in therapy on Friday!!!

“T ruins women’s bodies” I don’t want a woman’s body so I sure hope it does.

Testosterone Box #2

Oil paint with palette knife, 12x12 inches

Did my very first t injection today

IM FINALLY ON TESTOSTERONE!!! YEEEESSSSSS!!!!

8 Months of Living to Please My Soul

[8 months on testosterone warrants a face reveal for the blog]

me everytime i have to give myself a shot

I have came to the realization that if I ever get on T, I will probably look exactly like my father. What the hell

Im 46 and was tired all the time. I stay physically active. I got my testosterone levels checked about a year ago. It was at 230. Been doing trt and b12 since and feel like myself again. If you have constant fatigue it's worth getting checked out. I'm using hone health online. There's a bunch of other ones too. I get a full blood panel every 3 months.

first change on testosterone: boy smell

I started T I don’t feel like talking about it with the people in my life because I’m scared they’ll think it’s the only thing I can’t talk or care about. I know that won’t happen but I’m cautious anyway. So here internet take my one week on t changes.

I am so tired. I know everyone talks about having more energy but I will sleep for like 10 hours, wake up still tired, and then fall asleep at noon. It’s crazy. I’ve never been a person who naps but now it’s all I want to do. Other than that there hasn’t been much. I’m pretty sure my acne is worse, and I might have a bit more mustache and stomach hair but. That’s it. Not much but still more than I expected to happen in a week. I’m pumped, but also exhausted. I might make this blog into a diary of sfw changes. Idk. I don’t really post anything anyway.

T-SHOTS

Absolutely love that my blogs name is stupid little queer, because every time I get a notification that my mutuals (whom I love so dearly) post, Tumblr always roasts me

"Hey Stupid Little Queer, your mutal just posted again"

"Your gonna love this one you dumb little stupid queer"

"Hey Faggot-"

It makes me smile every time, thank you Tumblr

I love bring able to see tras people grown up, I love seeing adult trans people, I love knowing we've been here forever, and we're still here

I love knowing there's a place for me in the world, that I'm not going to grow out of this, that you didn't and neither will I.

I love this, I love you

The evolution of (trans) man.

(Well, this one, anyway.)

Age 9: "Tomboy"

Age 15: Strictly enforced femininity

Age 30: Hitting the mental limits of being closeted all his life and about to crash HARD

Age 47: Fifteen years now since starting transition. Far more good days than bad, no regrets.

The world may be full of uncertainty and danger, but I resolve to continue to find joy in who I am. Be joyful to be kind to yourself and be joyful to spite the bastards who would tear us apart.

Got an ask recently that called this pfp a "transmasc Emily" and I have not stopped thinking about it all day

Me Before HRT:

Me after HRT:

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Is that a transmasc Emily pfp I see (so incredibly based)

1: I BARELY know what your talking about (Stardew Valley)

2: This is INCREDIBLY funny to me

Answer: No! Very sadly! I completely forgot she also had blue hair. I, too, have blue hair and Pronouns!

I used a stardew valley pfp creator and made myself! There's a post somewhere on this blog going over the reasons I chose certain design elements but that's just (mostly) how I look, lol!

Trans Tips #11!

Try to get some sort of Gender Affriming Gear if it's safe for you to!

I've always wanted things like binders and boxers, but but I was gender fluid and making entirely too many excuses for why I "didn't need it"

GET IT

I have been out for about 3 months now as a full trans guy, but I've presented masculinely for the last few years

As of this year (2025) my fiance has been gifting me more trans affirming items. They got me FNAF boxers that just feel great, and a packer (boxers with a bulge) and we are looking into safe binders together to pick out the best ones for me

The point is that I LOVE all of this! I love my packer, I love sitting/standing in ways that show it off, and I love the weight and feel of it! Sure I felt silly at first because it's a little silly looking but I've gotten so much more confident with it! Even if you can't wear a packer, boxers were my first step and they also felt amazing! Something about them is just so gender affirming!

Right now I just wear sports bras but it still works to somewhat flatten my chest. And I love that!

The point is to stop making excuses, obviously if your living in an unsafe environment is understand if you can't but if you can! Then it's just a game changer!

You don't need to be "more masc" or more fucking anything to wear what makes you more comfortable!

I love my packer, I love my sports bra, I love my boxers, I love my cargo pants, I love my body and my skin and what I'm willing to do to feel comfortable in it day-to-day is spend a couple dollars here and there to get gender affirming gear!

What are you willing to do to feel comfortable in your skin today?

this is also prolly a good time to mention...I have absolutely no clue how to operate a picrew thingy whatever it is

i dont even know if I have access to it 😭

and also my Tumblr acc doesn't let me DM so I'm here 😭

And I didn't even see this ask! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to reply!

You click on this! It's the big, bold, underlined caption that says "The Picrew" under the first image

Apparently, it's an embedded link that opens the pic crew icon designer website, so if you just click on those words it should let you make yours!

Once you finish, hold down on the picture and it'll let you download it or copy to your clipboard

Then you can reblog with yours!

I'm excited to see what you'll make, lol!

*starts timer*

*checks #transmen tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmm, no..."

*Checks #transmasc tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmmmm, not here either"

*goes to liked posts*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scr-*

"FOUND IT!!!"

*checks timer*

Timer: 47 min, 2 seconds

That is how long it took me to find this FUCKING POST

JUST TO SAY

THIS POST HAS GIVEN ME A GENDER EUPHORIC HIGH I HAVNT FELT IN SO LONG

"But Li, you repost so many trans positiviy posts, why is this one so euphoric"

First of all, your beautiful, SECOND of all:

Specifically for one of the characters represented in it that i can relate to SO hard

And that is HIM

As a pre-top surgery trans guy, this shit makes me feel so EUPHORIC

Whether he can't get top surgery or doesn't want it doesn't fucking matter, what matters is that he doesn't have it, and he's still chest out and fucking proud about it

I don't know how to describe it properly but seeing somebody whose body is so much like my own, sitting there so casually, the representation has me on fucking Cloud Nine

And the whole image is beautifully created, an amazing representation of the diversity of trans men is just breath taking- the colors, the poses, the controposo, the contrasts

It's just, it's just a perfect and uplifting image all together, but still seeing someone with a body like mine represented is so beautiful and wonderful

This post has effected the way I carry myself

I used to think the peak of my masculinity right now was walking around the house in a sports bra because I don't have a proper binder rn- I was still covering mirrors to shower. Lights off, don't look down, just wash and go, close my eyes to get dressed

BUT FUCK after I saw this, I went to change and I looked in the mirror, and I saw myself in this image

I was able to look at my chest more objectively

And I just thought-like

"Yeah, that is a male body, that's what my male body is *supposed* to look like"

And just

Yeah

happy pride !! i love u my trans masc siblings 🫶 ⚧️ 🫶

this is also a redraw of a piece from june 2019 ⬇️

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Also not my usual content BUT this fucking post took me in its jaws and shook me and would not let go until I created this.

I present to you, Fish Going Kitty Cat Mode:

I'll be very very honest this is nowhere close to my usual art style or how I usually draw, it just consumed me until I created it, sorry if it sucks but my page is my house and you have entered it of your own free will

rejoice. celebrations in the streets. I'm going kitty cat mode

Little update:

I have a new PFP, it's the closest approximation I can get to what I look like in real life (only exception being the beard, but i want it so canonically I have it)

So there you have it! If my moots have been wondering what I look like, now you know!

*Expanded image under the cut*

Hey! Just want to make an announcement that this blog IS safe for minors to interact!!!

I am but a baby adult! Just turned 20! I know that sounds old but I promise I'm still figuring it out too! I just stopped being a teenager! I know what it's like to be a child in and out of the closet!!!

Anyway, this comes from the fact that every other queer/trans blog has somewhere "Minors DNI!" BUT MY BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR MINORS!!!

Ask me questions! Please! It's okay if you don't know how to word it or if you need help talking through it! Please interact with me do i can give good clean honest information to all my baby gays and eggs!

Also remember to, like, stay safe and stuff!

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

Trans tips #8!

Modified (forced) voice training!

Get strep throat

Start to lose your voice

Realize you have to pitch your voice down to speak clearly and not in a whisper

That's it that's the whole post!

wiselittlequeer*

(Your trans tips made us smile. Thank you.)

THANK YOUUUUU!!!!

I try and post untraditional advice and tips that might help more then the usual "eat, sleep, take your meds, drink water" ect ect. So I'm glad to see people actually enjoying and interacting with my content!

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!