Diary Entry #24: I Am Losing My Mind Send Help :)))

welcome reddit refugees

NORMALIZE loving horror movies but also NORMALIZE covering your eyes during them because you are a SCARED LITTLE FREAK

(Just watched The Fly i loved it but uh, hoo boy)

Diary entry #22

I'm learning how to drive still but it's taking too long. My days are meaningless, everyday not living as myself is killing me. I know it'll get better but holy shit waiting is horrible. Every day is pointless, I'm hardly making progress and I hate it. My sister is failing her classes and it's giving me panic attacks because I worry about her and my grandparents are mad at her.

If I can get out by my birthday, that's what I want. It's in the middle of August, hence my name. I don't think I can wait longer than that tbh. That's like 7 months away. God I hope I'm out by then. My days go by so quick, which makes my wait feel easier, but still.

I want to be on T so bad. I want to live my goddamn life for once, not the life others want for me. I want to wear a binder and cut my hair, I think if I could only do that life would be more bearable.

I don't know

This is genuinely eye candy may i have a bite,,,

gonna try and post more often bc i heard the pztw community here is active.

today i bring you a 30 min doise & his pink friend as well as a 1 hr noise & his explosive friend

Tysm!!

Hey there! I’m here from the whole reddit disaster.

Lemme introduce myself: my name is August, I’m trans and go by he/him/it, I’m autistic, and I’m very cool

DNI- proshippers, queerphobic people, trolls, etc.

Please follow- Pizza Tower fans, FNAF fans, queer folks, uhhh idk if you like my reddit stuff (u/augustoof) follow me!

I will talk about trans stuff and my special interests mostly. Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

Vent post ahead! Family stuff, transphobia, homophobia and stuff.

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My family doesn’t believe I can do anything; they don’t think I can take care of them when they get old, they don’t think I can fill my own medicine, live on my own, take care of myself, or get a job. I know they think this, because they’ve said it before. They only say it when they’re mad at me, but I know they think it all the time.

Because they don’t believe in me, I don’t really believe in myself either. But I know this is what they want; they want me to believe that I can’t do anything. They don’t want to see me transition, move out, and thrive. Whenever they ask me what’s wrong, I can’t tell them what’s actually bothering me because they’re too uncomfortable with the answer (dysphoria, not that they believe in it anyways.)

I don’t like these people anymore; they made it clear they don’t like my authentic self. They couldn’t even handle when I thought I was a lesbian, so what the hell was I expecting, I guess. I’m not giving up, I’m too spiteful to give up now. I’m going to live my life as a man; if they don’t like it, that’s fine, I don’t really give a shit. The only one I remotely care about is my little sister. She’s not too far gone yet. But I feel like my family will turn her to their side, and I’ll truly have no one.

Even if I have no one, I’m not giving up. I know that’s what they want, so I refuse to give up. One day, I’ll be masculine looking enough to where my family will have no choice but to call me by my actual name and pronouns, assuming that they don’t cease communication with me at that point. That’ll be a good day, assuming it happens. It’ll be incredibly painful to lose everyone, but it’ll be worth it. I’ll get new family and friends, and hopefully it will work out.

No matter what my family says, I am strong enough to do this. I have no choice but to be strong. I just have to struggle through another year or two, and I’ll be free. I’m nearly 18, will be in August, so technically I am an adult soon. Let’s hope that I can learn some more life skills and move out of this place.

(Also I may sound confident in this post, but irl I am scared. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I guess all I can do is try my best.)

looked at your bio and went hmm. me too

we are mutuals now >:D

Epic! Glad to be your mutual lol

MY VERY REAL AND VERY EPIC TRANSITION TIMELINE!!!!! (It actually hurt drawing me with boobs even though it's what I look like irl)

[I.D - a meme in which OP is in a transition timeline image, but it's drawn and both images are exactly the same; he looks like a blonde blue eyed girl in both images. The timeline is from 2021 to 2024, and it says My Transition Timeline!!! on the top followed by (FT.... uhh wait what). On the bottom panel of the image there's Peter Griffin, who has a speech bubble in which he says "Hello! This is Peter here to explain the joke. Basically, OP hasn't changed appearances at all between 2021 and 2024. He's a FTM guy who cannot express himself, and this post is basically a cry for help hidden under layers of irony." End I.D]

(Also if someone could tell me how to improve my image descriptions that'd be great cuz I'm not great at making them)

NOW I AM BECOME AVOIDANT. DESTROYER OF POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS