Allfather, Call Me Home Please! I Am Unworthy Of Life! 😢🤐💔

The past week has been a busy nightmare full of doctors appointments and drama. Still have to get a X-ray tomorrow so another day of bus trips. Seriously want to move to a cottage in the woods and grow things . Unfortunately I'm either going to meltdown or shutdown . What a time to be alive.🙄

Tis the season to meltdown... you get it, right? The season for triggers, masking and trying not to flip out.

Lost 18 lbs in a month! Restrictions more.

I will be size 2 again I!

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

Absolutely exhausted from dealing with people. I will hide for a bit.

Trying desperately to lose weight! I miss being skinny so much I meltdown. I'm tired of wearing such a big size, I miss wearing my size 2 clothes. It has me so depressed.

Adjusting to more roommates, a different house, oh and Sunday there is going to be 40 so people in the house. . . fingers crossed.

I guess the pain will end when I end.... just let it end. I'm horrible and worthless, a waste of natural resources. Maybe surgery Monday will not go well.