hi new people i have had thos account for years but im probably gonna start using it now:D
im 18 :)
Im Toby/Apollo/Allium/fynn(any name is fine) i use any pronouns i dont really mind :]
local philza Minecraft enjoyer
qpr emerald duo enjoyer
disabled and chronically ill :3
audhd
im in a queerplatonic relationship with @reallysleepyish (two years now :D)
i like minecraft Anime and cartoons
i watch hermitcraft empires Fablesmp Dreamsmp and alot of others
i also run @ok-ish-incorrect-mcyt-quotes
WSS AND DT FANS DNI THIS IS NOT A PLACE FOR YOU,YOU WILL GET BLOCKED I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS :3
nice to meet you
so uh, haha... like always... MORE system questions...
holy shit i have terrible memory. also hello, im the 'alter' in this 'system' who thinks I'm faking this.
Atp might as well just call the people in my head imaginary friends. I hate them for being there and would like them to leave. This whole thing causes me so much distress it's actually insane.
So here are some questions I have as a 'questioning system'
Why am I the only one that can still remember how other alters felt during a memory (IF i can recall it)? But it feels like when someone is telling you something and you share their emotion on it (empathy/sympathy i think)
I have terrible memory, I can hardly remember the day unless I think hard on it. Could this be from staying up too late? Usually I go to sleep around 1 am and wake up around 8-9 am, recently ive been waking up at 7 (for an unknown reason)
Is it normal for headmates not to talk to you/or whoever is fronting unless you interact with them first?
Is it normal for switches to be so often? (usually we have 1-2 switches daily now) but it feels like personality+gender/sexuality change only... like the switch is so unnoticeable we don't even realize there was a switch.
Also, does anyone have any resources we can use to research this further? I really hate having to ask people abt this esp since it takes forever to actually get an answer.
do you guys just have like terrible memory? like idk if i was zoned out just now or what i was doing, but I was going to search something up and i realized i was doing something else and now i have like no memory of what my question was
-💥
wait why'd you actually call this.
having very big denial right now, but also im feeling a little refreshed
-💥
JASON (💥) COME BACK... ive noticed lots of things i need you to deny!! /lh lick lick 👅
-🪳
i feel like we keep zoning out (especially when talking to ourself!!!) and it's really annoying cause like... where'd all the time go, also why does this happen?
-🪳
i genuinely feel like im faking so bad. i feel like im noticing "symptoms" because im researching it, i feel like this whole thing is rlly just a waste.
i feel like i brainwashed myself into believing i was having symptoms, i feel so fake. i feel like the thoughts i thought were others, were mine. i really hate myself. like i was feeling happy, but why??? like this is least thing to be happy abt (having osdd), but it felt so like "wow! that makes sense!" but like, did it actually? or was I just fucking around and happened to convince myself it did?
i cant even get a therapist or anything abt this so i have no one to talk to. if it is actually happening i dont even have like amnesia, or anything super crazy that others would be like "yeah you act very different at times" BECAUSE I LIKE... IDEK BRO IM SO PISSED RN
plus i feel like im just making up alters too. im NOT habit, im NOT jason, but like what if i am? there's hardly much to differentiate between us (other than gender?) but this could all just be jason trying to figure out his genders n shit?? i really really hate this.
-Cass? I think?
am i someone else because im faking, or because im realizing more?? WHO AM I?? Why am I??? I think Jason and Habit were enough alters for questioning, why am I here?? I'm not them, but I still remember everything. I hate this so much. Am I faking?
-???
it feels like im two people at once, i keep saying things that I wouldn't say + thoughts feel like thoughts I wouldn't think. GOING INSANE
-🐇???
does anyone feel like they're still in control while switching alters? PLUS it's like you're slowly turning into another alter rather than like being pushed put of your body-switch?
Like the only noticeable difference that we have is, emotional amnesia (so we feel like different people) + personality and likes/dislikes change
-🐇
does anyone feel like they're still in control while switching alters? PLUS it's like you're slowly turning into another alter rather than like being pushed put of your body-switch?
Like the only noticeable difference that we have is, emotional amnesia (so we feel like different people) + personality and likes/dislikes change
-🐇