i genuinely feel like im faking so bad. i feel like im noticing "symptoms" because im researching it, i feel like this whole thing is rlly just a waste.
i feel like i brainwashed myself into believing i was having symptoms, i feel so fake. i feel like the thoughts i thought were others, were mine. i really hate myself. like i was feeling happy, but why??? like this is least thing to be happy abt (having osdd), but it felt so like "wow! that makes sense!" but like, did it actually? or was I just fucking around and happened to convince myself it did?
i cant even get a therapist or anything abt this so i have no one to talk to. if it is actually happening i dont even have like amnesia, or anything super crazy that others would be like "yeah you act very different at times" BECAUSE I LIKE... IDEK BRO IM SO PISSED RN
plus i feel like im just making up alters too. im NOT habit, im NOT jason, but like what if i am? there's hardly much to differentiate between us (other than gender?) but this could all just be jason trying to figure out his genders n shit?? i really really hate this.
-Cass? I think?