Light As A Feather - Blog Posts
really craving a cheesestring rn but i ate lunch today so im chugging water instead, plus i only have three left 😔 rations are low
told one of my friends about my ed for the first time she actually reacted well? i love her shes so nice
idk which to do, and i dont want to inconvenience my friends ☹️
day thirty!!!
i can't believe i got thru this, im so happy, so if anyone's interested heres the 10 facts and my current stats:
1. i love philosophy, im doing it for gcse
2. cheesestrings are my favorite safe food
3. i have four older sisters
4. my most recent read was the karamazov brothers by fyodor dostoeyevsky
5. i once failed a science test with 12%
6. i am bisexual
7. i play the guitar and the drums
8. my favorite musicians are olivia rodrigo and dominic fike
9. i really want a pet cat and a domesticated pigeon when im older
10. my favorite animal is a black rain frog, search them up :)
and my stats are now this-
sw: 56.7
hw: 58.9
cw: 48.8
lw 48.6
cheesestrings are my favorite things ever 60 calories for one, fun to eat AND the taste and texture are perfect for my autistic ass
day twenty nine
my definition of beauty is like a mix of asian standards and western ones, id love to be skinny and pale, with longer lashes and bigger eyes, but i quite like being shorter than average. i want longer fingers and a big thigh gap too
what? an eating disorder?! i say as i retreat slowly, dropping my protein bars and laxatives 😊
ate lunch today and i feel worse than ever. this morning i reached my lw of 48.4kg but now i think im back over 50 i feel so ill
i fear i am overdoing this (potential foods to eat for my bsfs birthday)
i was doing decent today but i had a piece of bread with butter for dinner and even tho im def under 1000 cals i still hate myself
4 kilos away from being underweight 💕
day twenty eight!! so close to actually finishing this yay
yes i would love a bigger thigh gap, i have a small one but i want to have a big enough one that when i stand normally the top of my thighs dont touch
is it weird i want people to be concerned about me
how the FUCK was i 48.6kg this morning when i weighed myself and now im 50.3 i hate metab days. i purged aswell ☹️
day twenty seven
i have NOT been keeping up (school sorry gang) but if its food i love, i honestly have a bite but dont let myself have more, or i just pretend something gross is in it ngl
in the phase of fasting where im having intense hunger cramps even when i chug water
im going out with friends the next three weekends, so my plan for food is this week im eating sushi (its low cal) next week im nervous because im going out with my friend who i eat alot of junk food with but i should be fine and not lose progress as long as its only one day and the week after will probably be sushi again so praying i dont gain
overheard my family shit talking me im sorry im not happy and nice when this is the first year anniversary week of my su!cide attempt and i havent eaten anything today? i know they dont know but im so tired i cant cope
ana = bruising like a peach now apparently
may have outed myself as a rexie today when i said alot of calories was 1000-2000 a day and everyone was like the fuck at your size (im short asf) you should be having atleast 1600 😓 its fine they're concerned but cant do shit
wieiad!!
breakfast- a glass of water
0 cal
lunch- a piece of gum
7 cal
dinner- chicken and rice
200 cal
purged dinner, so -200 cal and exercised for 2 hours which was -576 cal
in total, 7+200=207-776=-569
gonna try to eat as little as possible tmrw without dying
i hate myself i wish i was a skeleton
ok any other asians with ana bc chinese new year is KILLING me
i hate myself and i hate binging
day twenty six
getting told "youre so skinny!" by people and to eat more instead of "youre not that fat" and people squishing my cheeks all the time
binged i hate myself i feel full again
was forced to eat lunch today because my friends told me i looked pale and sick yeah maybe thats bc i havent eaten since yesterday morning? tbf they dont know the extent of my 3d
day twenty five
yes, but i prefer not to, so i only do it when i have to. my first experience was when i b!nged and ate alot of high carb stuff in one go and i immediately went to go purg3
am i possibly overreacting by calculating how many cal0ries i need to save to eat out with my friend in three weeks 😭 why is a single burger like 800 cal0ries