I Need To Be Th1n - Blog Posts
im moving in my first apartment in 2 weeks, tell me why im mostly excited because i wont have enough money to buy groceries for a few months. a win is a win.
🪼Blog Intro🌴
TW- mention of 3d and $h
Hey guys! My name is Laylani. I live in America and I am in school. This is my 3d blog and I might mention $h a bit too. The 3d I have is 4n4 and it’s really hard to deal with tbh. My aesthetic is coconut or beach girl. I will update my stats on this post frequently.
Height (might change)- 5,2.5
SW- 112 p0unds
CW- 112 p0unds
Hi loveliez !
It's time for the little recap' of the day ! Today I 4t3 less than 200 c4l$ !! I feel proud of me to be honnest, lol. I drank 1.5 L of water today ! That was a good day with a sunny weather. 🥰
- Block me if you're triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
Hey loveliez !
It's time for the little recap' of the day ! I don't think I'm gonna do this recap' everyday because sometimes I just need like to switch off my phone anyway.
Today I 4t3 ~ 300 c4l$ ( I think I 4t3 less but I'm not absolutly sure ) and I walk all the afternoon with someone I really like. I had to pretend that everything is fine and this person doesn't see anything about my health and stuff like this. I think I want that he realize it so bad.. I want some approuvement sometimes.. I don't drink a lot today because I was outside and I forgot my bottle but it's okay !
Don't forget that you are loved sweeties ! XoXo <3
- Block me if you are triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
☆ •° Collar bones check !!
- Block me if you're triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
1.5 L of water, done ! ✅
I'm gonna drink more.
- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
Hi loveliez ! <3
Little recap' of this morning : I exercised a bit and I 4t3 ~ 257 c4l$ at lunch ! I drinked a half of a water bottle for the moment and, I think, I'll walk this afternoon !
- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
I relapse in my 3d and no one knows. No one cares. Like the usual. It's always pretending in my life. It's always lying to everyone and everything in my daily life.
I have a huge secret and it's my relapse.
- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
It hurts when I'm sitting and laying down. I think that's good. 👍🏻
- Block if triggered. ( I'm sorry if you are.. )
*Skinny Reasons-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Bikinis. Imagine soft sun on your skin, eyes following every move, admiration, envy, power.
2. Tans that mean something. Bronze skin only glows when there's a body worth showing.
3. Belly rings. Silver glint on flat skin. No rolls, no shame, just sparkle and softness.
4. High-waisted dreams. Shorts that don't dig in, crop tops that kiss your ribs, denim hanging loose like they were made just for you.
5. To be the skinny friend. The one they whisper about, the one they copy but can never become.
6. Control. Every skipped meal is proof you’re stronger than your urges.
7. Thigh gaps. Delicate space between your legs, the kind that only girls in magazines seem to have.
8. Boys looking twice. Not out of pity. Out of want.
9. Aesthetic everything. Oversized sweaters, low-rise jeans, silk skirts with nothing clinging.
10. Mirror peace. No more war with your reflection. Just soft pride in quiet bone lines.
11. Fragile beauty. The kind that looks effortless. Ethereal. Breakable. Wanted.
12. Revenge body. Every second of silence, of rejection, turned into something worth staring at.
13. Photos you don’t have to hide from. No more angles, no more edits.
14. To feel light. Physically, emotionally. To float in rooms instead of shrinking in corners.
Would I prefer to satisfy a thirty minute craving or have the body I’ve craved for a lifetime ?
the fact that literally everyone I know in my life knows I'm ⭐️ving and they won't do anything. I win!
planning to liquid fast for as long as I physically can
honestly love my therapist (well he's my nurse but closest thing I have to help atm)
"Well, even if you die from starvation, at least you'll have your teeth" all because I won't drink sugary squash as it hurts my teeth and drink sugar free squash
Could not stop laughing
In my ED relapse era
I had to try "recovery" for a while if I want top surgery but they're not sending the referral until I see a neurologist for physical health issues so I'm going to relapse to lose as much weight as possible so I can start T sooner.
Can't fucking deal with this
I'm so fat it's ridiculous. And I have to spend a lot of time around my family which means eating.
I wish I never started antipsychotics - weight gain is the worst thing to ever happen to me. +25kg and I didn't even overeat (verified by every person in my life). Fuck this shit man
~(Late)Wieiad~
10•16•24
Breakfast:
• 2 rice cakes - 80c
• Pork cutlet - ~450c
Dinner:
• 22g pitted date - 67c
• 5g LS peanut butter - 16c
• 1.5g unsweetened coconut chips - 10c
• 3g dark chocolate chips - 16c
Total: 639c
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Went over 500c and I’m not happy about it but I’m gonna fast until Saturday so that’ll be fun at least
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Wieiad~
10•15•24
Breakfast:
• 146g ZS Vanilla Greek yogurt - 60c
• 8g Chia seeds - 40c
• 50ml Coconut milk - 10c
• 80g Pumpkin Puree - 40c
• Ground Cinnamon - 8c
• 68g Frozen Strawberries - 24c
• 33g Frozen Raspberries - 17c
• 30g Frozen Blueberries - 16c
• 45g Frozen Blackberries - 29c
Snack:
• 5g CB whole wheat tortilla - 7c
Total: 251c
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Went mia for a little while because my mental health was complete shit and I had no energy to post on here but I should be back now✨
~ Vent ~
Something I keep thinking about is that my childhood friend told me ~4 months ago that she couldn’t imagine me skinny after she saw how different the pantry was at my parents house. Which is valid for her life experience with me, and great motivation, but wtf…. I’m kind of scared to meet up with her again after I lose more weight. I don’t want her to say anything else about my body.. and she’s one of the luckiest people on earth because she grew up SKINNY, and literally just because of genetics. Her whole family is thin.. lucky mfs lol -but we used to hang out frequently and we’d both eat a lot growing up, and she still does. The last time I hung out with her, she got a honey bun from a convenience store after she ate a sausage the length of a paper plate, and a slice of chocolate cake like 30mins-1 hour before… It’s possible she has some mental stuff going on as well because of struggling to gain weight, but to make such a comment about another person isn’t very mindful. My brain is kind of taking it as “I can’t imagine you being a healthy weight”. - not that I wanna be lol - but sis basically said that without actually saying it.. She knows I grew up FAT AF, a damn boulder, so I’m just struggling to understand how she could say that. In most cases, a persons health is the most important thing, and what she said really makes me feels like she wants me to stay big subconsciously. But, she picked the word skinny and not healthy, so maybe I’m just thinking too much into it lol.. Either way though, it’s still motivating me to do better so ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it does make me anxious about my relationship with her; and the pantry is so different now too compared to what it was the last time she saw it. So actually, I am very scared of her coming over lol.. and I don’t like that I feel that way, I love her a lot. I’m just not as comfortable around her now :c
I just realised that people don’t see me the same as I was just a few month ago, as a skinny 45kg beautiful young man.. they see me as a fat guy who is trying to compensate his weight by trying to look stylish and hot; but in reality I’m just fat and ugly. And that’s exactly how they see me.
I’m starting a wl challenge!!! 💕
I’ve decided to defeat the fatty in me by going on a 600ckal deficit for two weeks, and my MAIN GOAL is to aim for 50% protein intake
Protein diet once got me from 55kg to 45kg just in about a month, and I was toned af (I was literally getting complimented from random by passers every day)
Also, I’m doing a harsh gym challenge: every day for those two weeks I will go to the gym to get rid of the fat and build core muscles instead
Also, fasting for 16 hours every day is acquired
There’s also one more rule: only eating 1,5 hours before and after the gym workouts, since it’s the best for muscle gain and quick weight loss
I’m also planning to post my meals on here so I feel too ashamed to binge or not get those 50% of protein intake
Anyone wanna join the challenge? ;]
Basically, I sadly failed my bonesp0 fucking diet. I held onto it for about 4 days, and everything was going great, until a friend of mine decided to FORCE me to eat pizza with her.
She wanted to eat pizza really bad at my place, so I was like “alright, sure, I’m gonna feed you girl”, but then when the pizza was ready she stared going onto me and told me that she won’t eat until I will eat a slice of pizza too, and since she was really hungry it would be MY fault that she wouldn’t eat.
I ended up eating the pizza and then eating around 2000 ckalories every day until Tuesday..
Literally so fucking embarrassing. Now I’m trying a 400ckal deficit.
Wish me luck ;,].
I’m almost 23 fucking hours into my fast, let’s gooo-
After binging yesterday late in the evening, I’m finally starting the “to the bones” diet.
It was my fav one in the day and works soo well!
sw: 56,2 kg
gw: 46 kg
ugw: 43 kg
Wish me luck! ;]
Someone asked me what I looked like before getting fat, so here’s a pic of me in my prime (at my lw which was 45kg)
After three months and 10+kg I’ve decided to sit down in my one top and shorts… and this was my sign to lock tf in again.
Meansp0 is appreciated in comments ;].
“why aren’t u eating anything” god forbid a girl has goals
Does anyone have any good low cal ninja creami recipes? Any one I find always has fairlife in it but we don't have that here😭 also xanthan gum is impossible to find but I'm willing to order that