Glow Up - Blog Posts
How do i get a mad glow up in one month? I’m struggling here..
If any of y’all didn’t know, there’s a free online library, aka
https://openlibrary.org/
and I found like, twelve ebooks I’ve been wanting to read on there, and blasted through like three of them during the course of a boring-ass shift.
Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out. - Gilbert K. Chesterton
upgrade your life by taking note of the objects you use most and slowly replace them with the most beautiful and high-quality versions of those things you can find.
I love this!!! It's such a cute guide to wonyoungism, and it's super helpful for people starting out with this kind of aesthetic lifestyle !!
🩷🩷🩷🩷
wonyoungism: a guide
wonyoungism is inspired by jang wonyoung and mixes a coquette, cute, pink pilates princess style with self improvement to help us become the best and healthiest versions of ourselves!
ways to express wonyoungism
have a morning routine
a morning routine helps set the tone for the rest of your day. while you can include whatever you want, typical wonyoungism morning routines include waking up early, stretching, skincare, drinking tea or lemon water, and doing your makeup and hair. do what works for you and makes you feel the best!
take care of your skin
research your skin type and find what products and routines will work best for you. no need for fancy or expensive products! in my experience, minimalism works best for my skin. a good cleanser and moisturizer are key, but you can also include things like toner, exfoliating scrubs, night cream, eye cream, and serums if you need or want them. wonyoung is an ambassador for innisfree skincare products, like these:
have a nutritious, balanced diet
having a nutritious diet keeps you healthy and energized, helps your skin and hair, makes you feel good, and has so many other benefits! focus on getting your daily servings of fruit and veggies and getting your protein and other nutrients and vitamins in, but don’t restrict yourself to the point of bad mental health. here’s a good chart to start with!
find a daily exercise regimen
most workouts you’ll find with wonyoungism are pilates, walking, and yoga (which i highly recommend!) but find a workout plan that YOU like! there are so many different types of workouts out there, and you shouldn’t force yourself to do something you hate. try out different things and figure out what works best for you. if you do want to practice pilates and yoga, here are some good channels on youtube:
move with nicole
dansique fitness
yoga with kassandra
eleni fit
sanne vloet
bailey brown
implement productive habits into your day
instead of mindlessly scrolling in your free time, try to implement productive and healthy activities. these things can include:
working out or stretching
drawing or painting
researching something that interests you
learn a new skill or a new language
read
write short stories
make a new playlist
go outside/go for a walk/spend time in nature
journal
make a vision board
be kind to yourself
sounds self explanatory, but it can be so much harder than it sounds for some of us. it may take some time, but realize that you are only human and you are doing the best you can. it’s okay to not feel as healthy or happy as you think you should, but you are absolutely valid and it is okay to be gentle with yourself. you are the only you there will ever be, embrace being you!
have an evening routine
evening/night routines are important because it closes out your day and gets you ready for a good nights sleep. it’s so helpful to have an evening routine that helps you wind down and get relaxed mentally and physically. this can include whatever makes you feel calm and happy, but it can also include things like stretching, lighting a candle, skincare, reading, meditation, and drinking a warm drink like tea!
quit brainrot. unfollow trolls. read essays. go down rabbit holes. have a calendar. maintain a todo list. read old books. watch old movies. turn on dnd. walk with intent. eat without youtube. chew more. train without music. plan for 15 mins. execute. organise your desk. take something seriously. read ancient scripts. act fast. find bread. eat clean. journal. save a life. learn to code. read poetry. create art. stay composed. refine your speech. optimise for efficiency. act sincere. help people. be kind. stop doing things that waste your time. follow your intuition. craft reputation. learn persuasion. systemise your day (or don't). write. write. write. write more. iterate violently. leave your phone at home. walk to the grocery store. talk to strangers. feed the dogs. visit bookstores. look for 1800s novels. experience art. then love. sit with a monk and offer them lunch. don't talk shit about people. embody virtue. sit alone. do something with your life. what do you want to create? turn off your mind. play. play a sport. combat sports. notice fonts in trees. fall in love. notice patterns on a table. visualise it. talk to people with respect. don't hate. be loving. be real. become yourself. cherrypick your qualities. discard the useless. rejections aren't permanent. invite what aligns. accept what does not. read great people. be different. choose different. do great work. let it consume you. lose your mind. value your time. experience life.
𝜗𝜚 my extensive morning routine - for the girlies who need their alone time ,, especially before a hectic day ++ free printable !!
drink water
this is an absolute game-changer ! bonus if its warm or room temperature, really gets the metabolism going as well as soothes your throat !!
make your bed
this makes my room look MUCH neater, and gives me peace of mind + incentive not to get back under the covers and doze off again TT
meditation
another thing that calms me down greatly and gets me focused and set for the day, i really recommend lavendaire, her meditations are top-tier and she has several lengths to pick from
morning yoga
debloat yoga or stretching is a must for me, it helps aid my digestion as well as reduce bloating in the morning.
exercise
i like to do either shirlyn kim, april han, chloe ting or momomi workouts in the morning ending with a hinafit's full body stretch that's twenty minutes long. i use chloe ting's workouts as cardio mostly and then a set of targeted hiit from momomi and relaxing pilates from shirlyn kim and april han.
i am also trying to go on walks in the morning as well TT
skincare + dental care
my skincare routine in the morning is cleanser + toner + hydrogel + sunscreen + matte sunstick + lip balm and my dental care routine is herbal toothpaste + fluoride toothpaste + mouthwash. i wash my hands between and before/after steps.
shower routine
i use a pumice stone and sugar scrub in the shower to exfoliate along w baby soap and shower gel to clean up. i apply three layers of moisturizer + coconut oil on getting out !!
reading
in the mornings, i like to either annotate classics or read my weekly self-help book or just read educational nonfiction and take notes in my commonplace journal about them.
journalling
i fill out five affirmations, five things i'm grateful for as well as my intentions for the day. i also write down what would make my day great, as well as habits to focus on (at least three)
planning
i plan w/ my planners, notebook and wall calendar spread as well as notion and a habit app, as well as google sheets.
that wraps up this post, and here is the printable checklist spanning four days
workouts & stretches for posture
🤍 5 minute everyday pilates back routine by lidia mera
🤍 8 minute fix for neck hump by yuuka sagwa
🤍 8 minute upper body stretch by mizi
🤍 10 minute fix forward head & neck posture by mizi
🤍 10 minute fix your posture pilates style stretch by eleni fit
🤍 10 minute workout & stretch for round back by pamela reif
🤍 10 minute slim back & better posture by emi wong
🤍 10 minute fix posture & reduce back pain by mady morrison
🤍 20 minute posture correction by akshaya agnes
🤍 25 minute workout for better posture by growingannanas
🤍 25 minute pilates for better posture by move with nicole
🤍 30 minute pilates for upper body & posture by move with nicole
Trying to give myself a glow up in the next couple weeks before school starts ☁️
should i be writing?
yes
but will i?
absolutely not
what will i do?
make custom wallpapers cuz pinterest doesnt have the ones i fucking want
i made a hd version of this meme for all the self confident goddesses out there 💗
my skin is clear but lately its been getting bumpy (no acne and stuff tho, just bumpy instead of smooth) any tips?!?!?!?! love you gorg xoxo
You came to the RIGHT person BABY 👏👏👏. This is gonna sound abit preachy but I can't praise it ENOUGH. I just know you're gorg too angel 😚x, the world just HAS to nerf us for no reason😭.
Here's How I Got Rid of My Skin Bumps in a Month (No Gatekeeping, Just the Real Routine. WITH PROOF!!!)
You're curious or in need? I got you, no fluff, no 10-step K-beauty marketing fantasy or olive young code to share, just what actually worked for my skin. I struggled with tiny, annoying texture and bumps that refused to go away until I got serious about my routine. Here's exactly what I did and why it worked.
My Routine:
Step 1: Cleanser
CeraVe SA Smoothing Cleanser
This cleanser is packed with salicylic acid (BHA), which gently exfoliates while cleansing. Wash your face with water first, foam a bit in your clean palms, then massage wash into your skin for 2mins. No stripping, not too much drama, as it should. Just gets in there and preps your skin to absorb what’s next.
Step 2: Skin Booster
Cosrx 6 Peptide Skin Booster Serum
I used this right after cleansing to help support my skin barrier and texture. Peptides are like your skin’s support system, they help with firmness, healing and extra absorption of serums after it. I let this dry down before moving to the main event.
Step 3: The Game-Changer
Garnier SkinActive AHA+BHA+Charcoal Anti-Blemish Serum
Listen to me clearly: this serum is the star. AHA exfoliates the surface. BHA goes deeper into the pores. Charcoal detoxes. Niacinamide calms the whole thing down. I started with it every other day (about 4x a week for week one), just to test how my skin would react. No burning, no irritation, I could already feel smoothness beginning to creep in. From week two, I used it daily. By week four? The bumps were GONE, they did not BS with that in the promo.
Optional Add-In:
Cosrx Hyaluronic Acid Serum
I used this only when I felt dry. It’s great, but honestly? The Garnier serum was the heavy-lifter.
Why It Worked (The real science according to my research):
Exfoliation was key. Most textured bumps are clogged pores, dead skin, oil, debris. AHA and BHA exfoliants remove that without over-scrubbing. Although I did use a rough face towel like once a week with the cleanser 🫣.
Consistency did most of the work. This wasn’t a one-and-done miracle. I showed up for my skin and it showed out for me.
Testing slowly helped prevent reactions. I gave my skin time to adjust.
Here's my proof to show I'm NOT making shit up:
Extra Tips I Searched:
Don’t skip moisturizer. Even if you're oily. These ingredients can dry you out.
Use SPF during the day. AHAs and BHAs make your skin more sensitive to sunlight. Don’t undo your progress. I used a sunscreen with vitamin C to help brighten at the same time.
Give it 4 weeks minimum. Skin cycles take time. Don't expect overnight results.
This routine isn’t about perfection. It’s about tuning in, being gentle but consistent (tbh I was impatient but I pulled thru it😮💨) and letting active ingredients do what they were made to do. The Garnier serum? She’s the girl she thinks she is. Budget-friendly, effective, and no BS. LIKE FOR REAL.
If you're dealing with those stubborn bumps and want a routine that works without overwhelming your life or wallet, try this puhleaseeeeee. Let your skin breathe. Let it glowwwwww!!!!
Angela ¦ "05 ¦ Her ¦ Bi ¦ INFP ¦ Artist ¦ Did I say artist?
ABOUT :
Call me Angel / she-her. this is @angelaness — the essence of me in pixels and words.
Currently 19. Black asf. 180cm tall and very proud of it.
artist, muse, menace.
i draw myself so the world never forgets what it lost when it tried to shrink me. self-portraiture is my love letter to existence. yes I'm obsessed with art like it’s religion.
currently: painting w acrylic, cutting up old jeans, passioning my project (coming soon x) and daydreaming about a future lover I already miss.
.a shrine to girlhood that bites back.
.thoughts too tender for main.
LIKES :
graphite-stained hands. old art masters. kpop, krnb, gl + bl (biased, unashamed). vintage cams + handycam diaries. jazz loops in dim rooms. sims 2 aesthetics, messy art desks, cigarette ash in candle jar. pretty men n women who look like heartbreak. dirt, rex rats, glass hearts, and everything chicly broken. fashion that's slashed + stitched with story. solo dates, long showers, secret blogs. the art kids nobody gets but everybody wants to be. baking. pinterest + spotify combo. stray kids. ive. red velvet. DPR IAN.
DISLIKES :
✧ art theft ✧. nosy people who don’t listen. when people make me explain the magic. over-filtered lives + over-sanitized thoughts. “why don’t you smile more?”/“i don't like what you're wearing”. boys who think height intimidates me; babe, i love towering over you. always. Subconscious bigotry. when 2+ ppl are talking to me/trying to get my attention at the same time irl 💔. bad handwritting. weaponized incompetence.
DNI (DO NOT INTERACT) :
racist, ableist, queerphobic, transphobic, fatphobic, misogynistic, islamaphobic etc (obviously). if you mock kids, art, or dreams. fetishizers (i see you. i block you.). anti-oc / anti-self ship / anti-whimsy. cops + copycats. no age-inappropriate behavior. keep it classy or keep it gone.
BOUNDARIES :
i am not your therapist, your savior, or your fetish. you can trauma dump but plz provide/tell me b4 hand a warning for graphic details. don’t repost or edit my art. ask before using, actually don't use my art for ANYTHING. respect my silence. you can flirt, but know your place. don't be a dumb keyboard warrior spreading hate on my blog, you're just a fictional thing in my phone and i bite back. not gently. usually.
if you stay, stay sweet.
stay strange. stay whimsy.
stay #angelaness.
if you vibed, reblog. if you didnt, scroll. (leave a like blessing tho)
Warning!!! : Super Cool Loser Black Girl
Pov: You're my friend on Locket :p
I just realised I don't have a pinned intro, I should do one soon, sorry :0 !!!!
Guys I actually think I'm narcissistic lowkey 😭, I love myself!. Gosh aren't I pretty, I could stare at myself all day.
Wait that's totally not narcissistic! I think I'm so cool and kind and so awesome, sometimes I wish I was my friend, or maybe my lover... Is onecest a thing? it should be. This is what #angelaness is about— contentment 🙂↕️
Being your true self and embracing it!
Anyways add me, I'm fun I promise x
140525
Ways to Shift the Angle || It's all about perspective.
1. Go outside ugly.
No makeup. No cute outfit. Just step out. Feel the wind. Notice the clouds like they’re watching you back. You’re not there to be seen, you’re there to see, aka you're right as a HUMAN.
2. Drink water with dramatic flair.
Pour it into your prettiest glass. Add lemon, cucumber, or mint if you’re extra. Sip it like it’s holy. Because it is. Hydration is a rebuke to the decay.
3. Unfollow the perfect. Follow the real.
Curate your feed like a gallery. If it doesn’t make you dream bigger or breathe deeper, cut it. You become what you consume.
My moto has always been See it, be it.
4. Romanticize something stupid.
Fold laundry like a French film heroine. Wash dishes like you’re in a music video. Make it art. You don’t need permission, you have free will!!!!
5. Make something and let it suck.
Doodle, paint, sing badly, dance worse, write shit poetry and convince yourself you're freaking Edgar Allan Poe. Expression is not a talent contest, it’s your soul stretching its arms. There so many ways to do that.
6. Touch grass... but like, really touch it.
Like fr. Sit with your bare legs on the ground. Let dirt under your nails(you can clean it l8r, it ain't gonna kill you) Be wild. You’re not a screen. You’re skin and blood and thunder.
7. Talk to yourself with tenderness.
You’ve survived every ugly day so far. That deserves softness. Praise yourself out loud like you would your best friend.
8. Write a letter to the girl you’ll be in a year.
Tell her what you hope for. What you’re scared of. What you’re trying. Then seal it. Hide it. Come back to it later and weep at your own growth.
9. Watch a movie you loved at 13.
Feel how it hits different. That’s -perspective- seeing the same story with new eyes, older eyes, wiser eyes.
10. Do something the algorithm doesn’t care about.
Learn to knit. Bake bread (!!!!). Read a dusty book. These aren’t for clout. They’re for soul.
You don’t need a full rebrand. You need a tilt. A reframe. A second glance.
Your life isn’t just a reel of wasted time. It’s a painting in progress. And even the mess matters. Every shade. Every smudge. Every layer.
Perspective is more than a trick of the eye. It’s a rebellion. A soft uprising against despair. It says, yes, this sucks right now, but it’s not the whole story. You are not the rot. You are the artist holding the brush, choosing what to do next.
I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I do believe in reshaping the meaning of things that happen.
So next time you’re lying there, staring at the ceiling like it holds answers, waiting for a sign, turn the paper. Turn yourself. A few degrees is all it takes.
And suddenly, what looked like the end… is just the start of something strange and beautiful.
130525
Need to be my mc since yesterday, she's gorge I wanted her more than matthias 😻😼
Yes I play interactive games like THTH, episodes and choices or wtv AND LADS<3. What else was i gonna say bout it.... Speaking of, I should get episodes again, I'm done with too hot to handle already 😝.
It’s All About Perspective:
Sometimes, all it takes is a quarter turn.
That dried paint blob: smeared, ugly, accidental — can become a dancing figure with big shoes, a biker, an abstract expression, if you just tilt it. And what if your life is the same? What if you’re not broken, lazy, or lost, but simply looking at your own story from the wrong side?
We’ve all been there. Hair greasy, phone hot from hours of scrolling, a million open tabs and zero opened dreams. You’re rotting in bed, flicking from one TikTok to another, laughing, then crying, then dissociating, watching other people live out the things you swore you’d do. It’s addicting. Comfortable. Even aesthetic. "Girl rot" became a moodboard, for Christ's sake but no one tells you that staying there too long leaves you hollow.
But here’s the truth, my dear angels: you’re not the paint blob. You’re the hand turning the page. You decide the angle.
So how do you shift perspective when everything feels heavy? When life is a loop of doomscrolls, late-night existential spirals, and the occasional burst of fake motivation?
You start slow. You start small. You turn the page.
Maybe I'll post something about this topic tomorrow :)
100525
Today was an eventful day :D! I played dress up to 2014 diet Pepsi party songs, went out, and stumbled across a free flower arrangement class, and I got to take my own bouquet home!!!! >.<!
Today was really good, life has meaning outside of bedrotting and doomscrolling, go out and find something to do, you'll find joy, relaxation and dopamine from activities you'd usually never bat an eye at!
Since I'm having a good day, here's a cool-ish and fun face reveal (might delete later)
Bonus 🩵
040525
Brah, nothing much today as usual, I think I can even predict tomorrow accurate I'm not even joking. I'll wake up groggy, do my skin routine, either decide to fast longer, just take tea or coffee, or make a proper breakkie for myself, which is usually oats or like eggs and wtv.
I'm prepping to do a evening stretch or perhaps workout before bed actually.
Im getting nowhere with this drawing lol. Maybe I should test out my new pencils!
The answer to the previous poll was actually the Follicular Phase. The oat cookies really threw most of you off and made you choose the Luteal Phase, but I mentioned more Follicular activities than Luteal. That's my bad. OK, I'm done; my will to do the exercise is stronger than ever!
030525
Today I ate kale, made myself a really ugly salad... Soooo not pictured lol, my skin is doing better - something seems to be wrong but I'll be just fine. Tho I didn't have time to exercise I did feel like it, maybe I should squeeze a stretch before bed to satisfy that craving. I also made some oat cookies :D!!!! And had quite the productive conversation with my best friend
020525
Cycle Syncing 101: How to Stop Fighting Your Body and Start Flowing (🌚) With It
alright girls, gather ‘round. this is the full post i promised - the one about periods, moods, energy, and how to actually live in sync with your cycle instead of feeling like a chaotic mess every month. because once i started tracking and understanding my cycle… it changed everything. for real. my workouts, my eating, my planning, my self-talk all became softer, smarter, more strategic. so let's break it down.
your menstrual cycle has 4 main phases, and each one brings its own vibe, mood, superpowers, and kryptonite. when you know which phase you’re in, you stop blaming yourself and start working with your body, not against it. ready?
1. Menstrual Phase (Bleeding / Days 1–5ish)
Vibe: hibernation queen. inward. reflective.
Body: hormones (estrogen + progesterone) are at their lowest = low energy, fatigue, cramps, sensitivities.
Mind: introspective, quiet, intuitive. this is your “truth-telling” time.
What to do:
Exercise: restorative yoga, stretching, slow walks. if you need to skip your workout? skip it. your body is doing enough.
Food: iron-rich foods (spinach, lentils, beef, dark chocolate), warm meals like soups and stews. magnesium-rich snacks can help with cramps.
Routines: go slow. journal. say no to extra plans. light candles. wear comfy clothes. treat yourself like you're sacred.
Study/work: focus on review, reflecting on past tasks, journaling ideas. let your brain rest a bit—don’t force deep concentration.
Self-care: warm baths, heat pads, soft music, no loud people.
Mental tip: you’re bleeding out the past month. literally. let go of what didn’t serve you. Zdont feel guilty.
2. Follicular Phase (Post-period / Days 6–13ish)
Vibe: fresh start. springtime energy. main character in a coming-of-age film.
Body: estrogen rises. energy builds. skin glows. you feel light, optimistic, social.
Mind: creative, motivated, open to new ideas.
What to do:
Exercise: try something new—dance, pilates, running, gym sessions. you’ll feel strong and energetic.
Food: fresh and light—greens, fermented foods, seeds, citrus. boost that metabolism.
Routines: this is your reset phase. declutter. plan your week/month. start new habits. your brain wants structure right now.
Study/work: brainstorm, start new projects, prep for heavy tasks ahead. your memory and focus are sharper.
Self-care: vision boards, hair masks, cute outfits. say yes to life.
Mental tip: this is your most productive phase. take advantage but don’t overbook. pace yourself.
3. Ovulation Phase (Middle of Cycle / Days 14–16ish)
Vibe: glowing goddess. seductive. unstoppable.
Body: estrogen peaks, testosterone joins the party. libido spikes. you’re magnetic and bold.
Mind: communicative, charming, high-confidence. great time to network or confront someone (with love, of course).
What to do:
Exercise: go hard—HIIT, lifting, cardio, group workouts. you’ve got power and endurance.
Food: fiber-rich foods (quinoa, carrots, berries) and antioxidants. hydrate well.
Routines: do your “hard” things here—presentations, big meetings, social stuff, shooting your shot.
Study/work: speak, pitch, debate. you’ve got clarity + persuasion.
Self-care: romanticize yourself. take hot pics, go out, flirt with life.
Mental tip: your confidence is real. don’t downplay it. enjoy this phase but stay grounded.
4. Luteal Phase (Pre-period / Days 17–28ish)
Vibe: cozy but moody. nesting energy.
Body: progesterone rises after ovulation. if no pregnancy happens, hormones start to drop = PMS hits.
Mind: detail-focused, critical, sensitive. easily overstimulated.
What to do:
Exercise: lower the intensity. pilates, strength training, long walks. listen to your body.
Food: complex carbs (sweet potatoes, oats), calming teas, B6-rich foods (bananas, salmon). eat more often to manage cravings + blood sugar dips.
Routines: finish tasks. organize. clean your space. prep for your period like you’d prep for a storm—lovingly.
Study/work: editing, detail work, wrapping up loose ends. less is more.
Self-care: limit caffeine, go offline if needed, soothe your senses.
Mental tip: don’t trust every thought. the inner critic is loud but not always right. softness wins here.
General Tips:
Track your cycle: use apps like Clue, Flo, or just a paper calendar. know when each phase starts so you can plan smarter.
Plan around your phases: big goals in follicular/ovulation, rest + review in menstrual/luteal.
Cycle syncing ≠ perfection: life doesn’t always let you live like a hormone princess. do what you can. forgive what you can't.
Be kind to yourself: if your body is low-energy, that’s not laziness—it’s biology. honor it.
Final Thoughts:
nobody told us this. nobody said “hey, your whole system is a monthly pattern, learn the rhythm and life gets easier.” instead, we got shame, pain, and whispers. but no more. now we know better. and syncing your life to your cycle is not about being soft—it’s about being smart. strategic. in tune.
girlhood isn’t chaos, insanity, it’s coded. and when you read the code, you stop feeling like a mess and start feeling like magic.
if you made it this far, you’re already syncing, baby.
go be soft when you need, strong when it calls, and sacred always💕
May is here
Today went out tried to sketch no motivation, nothing interesting really.
Ok but can we talk about how different each phase of the menstrual cycle feels?? like you’d think it’s just “period = sad” but no babe, it’s a whole seasonal shift in your body every month.
bleeding days? emotional fog. kind of dreamy, kind of raw. i wanna disappear and reappear as a wiser version of myself.
then suddenly i’m glowing?? follicular phase hits and i’m making playlists, plotting my entire life, falling in love with strangers on the street.
ovulation? don’t talk to me i’m the sun. i could seduce gods. i’m flirty, social, magnetic, and fully convinced i’m that girl, Angel!
but then luteal phase slaps me with a cosmic “slow down.” i start overthinking, wanting to delete my whole internet presence, (the amount of times I've deactivated my insta is crazy) crying over a tiktok of a dog getting a new toy or that one guy who lost is mom, held her funeral pic with his dad, then the next slide is him holding his dad's funeral pic, that devastated me, this phase makes the world feel loud.
and the wildest part? it’s predictable. it’s a cycle. we’re not crazy, we’re syncing with an inner calendar nobody taught us how to read.
there’s so much i wanna say on this. like how to work with your cycle instead of fighting it. how to rest, create, reflect, and thrive depending on the phase you’re in. but i’ll save all that for the full post.
just wanted to say: you’re not lazy, moody, clingy, or cold. you’re probably just in a different phase. and that deserves softness, not shame.
x
april’s vibe: hyperfixation as a lifestyle choice
okay, so. i’ve decided april is the month i weaponize my obsessive tendencies. we’re structuring this like a villain origin story meets a Pinterest vision board. no chill, just results. here’s the plan:
DAILY NON-NEGOTIABLES (because autopilot is for airplanes)
-
Mornings: Alarm goes off at 6:30 AM. no snooze, no TikTok rabbit holes. i splash cold water on my face like i’m in a montage. breakfast is ✨liquid✨—black tea, hibiscus, whatever. fasting till 3 PM because hunger is just capitalism’s way of distracting me.
-Workouts: Leg day? Arm day? Every day Squats, lunges, push-ups, planks—yes, even the thigh gap sculpt stuff. ugh. cardio is me speedwalking away from my own intrusive thoughts.
-Afternoons: Hyperfocus mode. coding lessons, Neocities updates (my 2003-core html shrine), job applications (two a day, minimum), and drawing my OCs like they’re my emotional support imaginary friends.
-Evenings: Pretend i’m a mysterious artist. video diaries no one will ever see. practicing model poses in the mirror like i’m about to walk NYFW. reading UX/UI textbooks in Italian? Sure. Phone off by 9 PM to avoid doomscrolling into the abyss.
WEEKLY MISSIONS(to avoid becoming a goblin)
-
Week 1: Reset. Clean my room, delete 1,000 screenshots, make a moodboard that’s 70% anime OCs and 30% “hire me” energy.
- Week 2: Delulu escalation. Apply to jobs while listening to “I Am the Best” by 2NE1. Code a webpage that’s just a PNG of a frog. Detox Sunday: no internet, just me and my sketchbook.
- Week 3: Break the comfort zone. Post a cringe video diary. Walk like i’m in Black Swan but make it fashion.
- Week 4: Final boss mode. Five job apps in a day. Code a feature that’s definitely overkill. Compare progress pics and pretend i don’t scream internally.
WHY? Because by May, i want to look in the mirror and see someone who’s 10% hotter, 50% more employable, and 100% more feral about their dreams. The kind of glow-up that makes people side-eye me in the grocery store. Skinny toned legend who. Me. Exactly.
200325
Today also has a pretty date imo.
Why did no one tell me that YouTube is no longer available on my iPhone 6+
WHY WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭💔💔💔
Anyways, did nothing much today, except exist and editing my invite only YouTube video for my friends 😊
Keep in mind, I am 180cm tall, that is 5'11, and I checked the agency, its legit and they came to my country to scout for potential new models. I also feel like they don't have that many Black girls signed to them which is why they're scouting on my ends. I'm anxious coz I'm not exactly the skinny type they have on their site, but I'm also not chubby, I'd say my weight is OK for my height, on the leaner side.
I've had dreams of modelling because I love my height so much, like soooo much. But I get anxious thinking I'll walk weirdly or make a fool out of myself in front of the panel... I might think I'm eating up the walk, but in reality my body moves awkwardly and rigidly 😭.
180325
Made my hair! Love the twists🙇🏾♀️
I did half of my sudoku puzzle of the day, mostly binged Lucifer while on Pinterest #pip #andriod, and did nothing much except sit from 3 to 8 pm and do my hair.
I could do a face reveal but I don't know 🫣.
The Tragic Cycle of Wired Headphones: A Self-Reflection
You know that moment when you buy a fresh pair of wired headphones and make a silent promise to yourself? This time will be different. This time, you won’t shove them into your bag like some kind of deranged squirrel hoarding acorns. You won’t yank them out of your phone like you’re trying to start a lawnmower. You will treat them with care, with respect.
And yet.
Somehow.
Here you are. Again. Another pair, dead. The left earbud? Gone. The right one? Hanging on for dear life, whispering faintly, like it’s calling out from the afterlife. You stare at it, baffled. How? HOW did this happen? You were careful. You learned from the last five pairs. Didn’t you?
No. You didn’t.
Because the truth is, you’ve said this every time. Every. Single. Time. Your history is littered with the ghosts of headphones past—frayed wires, sound cutting in and out like a broken radio transmission, rubber casings peeling back to reveal the fragile, suffering wires inside. You think about how they got here. The careless wrapping around your phone. The times you let them dangle from your pocket like an afterthought. The fact that, at least once, you definitely fell asleep with them still tangled around you like a techno-umbilical cord.
And this—this isn’t just about headphones. No. This is about you. About your patterns. Your delusions. The fact that you keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.
Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
Maybe it’s a metaphor. Maybe your headphones die because you don’t handle delicate things well—physical or emotional. Maybe you ignore problems until they break. Maybe you see the warning signs—the faint crackle in the audio, the slightly exposed wire—and you pretend everything’s fine. It’s fine. It’s FINE. Until one day, it isn’t.
Or maybe, hear me out, wired headphones are simply not meant to last. Maybe they are built to self-destruct, to betray us, to force us into this never-ending cycle of grief and rebirth. Maybe we are all just victims of a larger force—planned obsolescence, capitalism, the cruel inevitability of entropy.
Or maybe, just maybe… I need to stop buying $3 gas station headphones and expecting them to last a lifetime.
Anyway. If you see me buying another pair tomorrow, no you didn’t.
I (edit: recently viewed a video indicating that some people may not recognize what an em dash is, and that using it could lead to assumptions of AI usage. I would like to clarify that I do not utilize AI; I merely use an em dash when it is suitable for its intended purpose.)
The Dance of Fate and Free Will
Do we really have free will, or is everything already mapped out for us?
It's the kind of question that's kept philosophers, poets, and theologians up at night for ages. Just asking it feels like standing on a beach, staring out at this massive ocean where what's logical and what's just plain mysterious kind of blend together. If it's all predetermined, then are our choices just an act? Are we just going through the motions in a play we didn't even write? But if we do have free will, then what's setting the limits on what we want, what we can do, and those invisible walls that pop up in our lives?
This push and pull – this back-and-forth between fate and our own choices – it's really what being human is all about, isn't it?
The Illusion of Choice
We like to think we're in the driver's seat, right? Every day, we get up and decide what to wear, what to eat, who to love, who to say goodbye to, and the kind of person we want to become. The world tells us if we just try hard enough, if we're disciplined and really want it, we can create any future we can imagine. "You can be anything," they say. But, can we, really?
Think about how life actually plays out. The family we're born into, the country we call home, the body we're in, those moments of pure luck or just plain bad luck that shape us – we didn't pick any of that. Someone born into a wealthy family in a rich country will never know what it's like for a kid born into war somewhere else. Someone who bumps into their soulmate on a train – are they really more deserving of love than someone who just happened to be on a different train that day? So much of who we become, it's just not in our hands, no matter how much we wish it was.
Even neuroscientists are saying our brains make decisions before we even realize it. If a machine can guess which button you're gonna press before you even "choose" it, what does that tell us about free will? Are we just following a script, but we're tricked into thinking we're the ones writing it?
The Beauty of Predestination
And yet, there's something strangely comforting about the idea that it's all already decided. If fate is a real thing, then nothing is truly wasted. The heartbreaks, the screw-ups, the chances we missed – they all had to happen exactly like they did. You were never meant to end up with that person, never meant to get that job, never meant to be anywhere else but right here, right now. In a way, it takes this huge, exhausting weight of regret right off our shoulders.
Some of the most peaceful people I've ever met are the ones who truly believe in destiny. They just trust that what's meant for them will find them, and what's not will just fade away. They move through life with this quiet confidence, like they're not even bothered by problems. There's a kind of beauty in just letting go and going with the flow, seeing life as something that just unfolds, instead of something we have to fight and control all the time.
But Then Again, What If?
But even if it's all predetermined, does that mean we should just give up and do nothing? If a river already knows it's going to end up in the ocean, does it just stop flowing?
Maybe free will isn't about controlling everything, the whole grand plan, but about how we feel it. Maybe the whole point is just the joy of making choices, of having dreams, of just acting on whatever we feel like doing in the moment. Even if your future is set in stone, isn't there something exciting about not knowing what's around the corner? If fate is real, then so is the amazing thing of being clueless about it. You still get to feel things, to move, to chase after whatever calls to you. And isn't that a kind of freedom in itself?
Think about this: Say your fate is to become a painter. But the second you pick up a brush for the first time, it just clicks. It feels like your choice, like you discovered something amazing. That feeling of joy, it was always going to happen, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it? Maybe you were always meant to read this, to think about this, to feel that little spark of "aha!" Maybe even the feeling of free will is part of the plan, and isn't that actually kind of a relief?
So, whether you're team fate or team free will, live like your choices actually matter. Love like it wasn't already written in the stars. Create like it wasn't a done deal. Because, when you think about it, if destiny does exist, it's probably already figured in your rebellious side anyway.
With thoughts of G♡