Bpd Thoughts - Blog Posts
nothing hurts more than when you are in love with him & he is with someone else…
hi loves. i am not feeling so well.
send me some asks or comments?? pls? idk lol…
bury me with you.
i want to be as close as i can be to you.
forever & always.
i wish i also had a piece of you.
so you would always be with me.
they don’t understand you, my beloved.
but i do.
i want to spend my life devoted to you.
i am having those thoughts again…
i just want to belong to someone…
any applications??? ❤️
I’ve grown tired of trying to gain your attention, it’s obvious that you do not reciprocate. I deserve better.
we all love him, we just express it in different ways.
i wish he cared for me as much as i cared for him.
Trigger Warning
i laid down on the hard sidewalk, staring at the stars while tears filled up in my eyes.
I impulsively messaged a old fp & while he instantly responded with positivity like he always has.
Simultaneously, my current fp messaged me back, responding to my response of his story on insta. 
I don’t even know why I’m crying, sure, maybe it’s because my dad has cancer, my childhood friend/bully died the other day, my uncle is in the hospital after being found unconscious on the floor, we are being kicked out our apartment, and im here weeping over stupid shit like why doesn’t he love me back…
Here's my grass is greener type thought but I wish I was the kind of neurodivergent who wasn't always aware of so many social cues. Ignorance can be truly bliss in terms of socializing.
- We all break at a point. How long are you going to hold on?
- Forever. I'll hold on forever if I have to.
I used to be this happy soul with a goofy personality.
Now I look at people around me and wonder how they are able to smile in this chaotic world.
“it’s your choice” “you have options” “you know what to do” actually i am very much not well and giving me a ‘choice’ that has no outcome that makes everyone feel good is making me wanna kms!!!
being iced tf out by people who ‘care’ and ‘love me’ and ‘understand me’ even though they don’t care to see that i’m literally at the lowest point of my life!!!
fake ass mfs made a whole separate gc to chat shit about me when i’m currently sitting in my bathroom wondering how many cvts i deserve today
i gave you one end of the string, now all you have to do is hold on and slowly let it unravel.
please, listen to the silent words and watch my eyes.
my life depends on you, love.
all these expectations. fuck you and fuck everyone else.
do what i want!!
no do what i want!!
nah bro what about what i fucking want. i can’t deal with this anymore. every outcome just ends up with me wanting to slice my wrists open, hang myself from the ceiling, jump from a bridge and EVEN THEN none of you would care.
“we didn’t even notice” man stfu i’m clearly losing my fucking mind and HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS.
lord just let this end, please. i’m begging with everything i have. please.
Unfortunately this sounds so me
date idea: u tell me exactly how u feel about me in specific detail until my brain calms down and stops thinking u hate me
It's amazing how fast you can be on the other side
...
Just a few minutes can end all of your suffering.
Just end. End of your mentally ill. End of your all insecurities. End of the reality you hate. End of the body pain.
...
Hm, i think that actually attempting was a big sign yk? But they just ignored that. It's just puberty, just the mistake of youth... No it's not.
And maybe, just maybe I failed because God or someone in the sky wanted me to do something on this Earth who knows? I still have something to do, something to feel, something to see as the person who actually is here now, not the next Incarnation who will be.
...
It's not the suicide letter, but I feel that suicide thought comes back....if I fail I hope you find my soul stuck in that text...
Oh nice she's ignoring me my bpd screams.
Being an only child with a bad relationship with your parents and food isn't for the weak.
you don't care you don't care you don't care about me. I told you. I told you and you only acknowledge it with a "oh" before changing topics. what's new. nothing's fucking new cause you don't care about me. you'll respond with the same thing if I told you I'll be bleeding out on the bathroom floor tonight.
its in my head that everyone hates me and will ignore me when I'm in an episode because that's what fucking happened today. i was right im always right about this, it always happens and I know it will happen. they will always ignore me. they don't care, they will always choose each other first before me.
vaguely religious thoughts are back, drop all friends when school is done, break up with partners, (try to) get a job, kill self before 2026.
Screaming at the top of my lungs
"I fucking deserve this"
"Baby was it worth it?"
Guess I wasn't worth shit
can I really call this crying? when all that happens is my eyes well up with water and only one or two tears fall and they don't even make it far before it stops.
if I don't refresh myself about something or why I have it often enough I believe I don't have it and everything's a lie and im completely normal and making everything up