Last Night I Genuinely Felt Like My Heart Was Being Stabbed.

Nooo, you don't understand! you were supposed to answer that you love me and that you want to spend time with me and give me a lot of attention. Now I'll unfortunately have to slide a knife into your neck and break a few bones :(

I luv u all my mooties, your interactions keep me sane and make me think that I'm not such a bad person.

Los quiero muchito.

I'm in my bed with my freshly changed sheets, I left class early because they weren't doing anything interesting, I got drunk last night

Oh how I regret having drunk so much last night, I soiled my bed sheets and the floor with vomit, my body felt so numb, my body felt nothing my consciousness was wandering but I remained conscious, to the point where I remember starting to ramble out loud, It's funny because it's really the only time I felt like I said something something something but I don't remember that something. When I woke up in the morning I still felt so dizzy and sick, I just told my mom that I must have overeaten.

I'll never get drunk like that again, sleeping pills do the same job and in a less disastrous way.

I feel so promiscuous when a man touches me, no matter how it is, I feel dirty, I feel guilty and yet I can't help but crave physical contact, physical affection.

I never ever deserve to be happy by someone's side, I don't know why I never get it clear.

The only one I told what really happened was him, It was interesting because he seemed to barely care, which I kind of like, please hate me and try to get away from me.

I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty I feel so empty

I feel like I have the need to throw up something displeasing and nauseous that is inside me

Fuck overthinking

All my homies hate overthinking

In the mess of my things I realized that accidentally my melody plushie ended up covered by a blanket (towel) and it seems that she's mimiendo! I couldn't help but edit it because it was so cute! ~~

the weather is getting cold and the earth begins to smell wet yayay

Tomorrow I have to return to being a functional human in society, I hope I don't bite anyone in the process.

ALSO I'M GOING TO HAVE A FULL SHOWER YAYAAYYYAY I haven't washed my hair in like a week- (quite valid for a person who barely has a functioning brain in my opinion)

I want to paint my nails black again, change my piercings, get my jewelry and outfit ready for tomorrow.

After that I draw all night and sleep less than two hours because tomorrow I will probably have to be awake since 4:30 a.m. to have time for everything.

I feel quite personal to me how I have finally started to settle down and getting comfy with my blog, fun fact, when I was a child I tried to have a diary style blog but after a week I totally forgot it existed lol.

Anyways, xoxo to internet people.

I would like to say yes, it's a joke as I took Yume as the name of my Oc, self insert, persona, whatever you want to call it because I chose randomly any Japanese word

But I would be lying very, very badly; the thing is, if you know Ace Attorney (YES MY F/O IS FROM ACE ATTORNEY) , you know that the characters' names are almost always puns. What inspired me for this non-pun and just the word itself??? Well, I've realized that people who have been very important to me are very likely to dream about me, like- absolutely all of them have dreamed about me more than once. The most interesting was that one of them dreamed about me without having met me, he simply dreamed that he called me by my name and that he was at my side. (Could it have been a coincidence? Yes, but it's definitely a funny one)

That's why I chose literally "dream", so yeah!!1!1! My description is right, you know me from a dream!!!

Because you could destroy me, you could break me, you could shatter me, you could tear away the filthy humanity that I still have, you could finish snatching all feeling from me, you could make me even more miserable, and surely I would be grateful about it.

I would be grateful if only it would mean that you would stay by my side, that you would accompany me, that you would try to enlighten me with your presence, with pretending to be important to me.

Because nothing will ever change for me, and that will drag you into ruin.

In every interaction with someone I really like I can't help but express a possessive/stalker feeling

damn, I wish a was normal and not a fucking little creep craving for a meaningful relationship