Words From We Hug Now By Sydney Rose

i’m sorry i didn’t write to you yesterday. i’ve been busy with recording. i get a new microphone tomorrow.

i want to record more of my older songs but i’m scared to because so many of them are so emotional and clouded. i write music to release that negativity inside of me and i can be vulnerable with myself for a bit. my views have changed now but i still feel like those songs are a part of me.

i’m eating dinner now. i had a rough day at work. it was really busy. i’m watching old among us videos.

i don’t have much to say. not much in my life is changing right now. i’m glad.

i miss you. i don’t ever want to talk to you again but i wish i had the chance to say goodbye.

u ever just get that lil squeezy ouch in your chest that just fuckin Hurts

i hate you for making me feel again

have decided this account is gonna be for not only shit posts but also Private Romance Things™️ i cannot post in front of actual people

expressing our feelings? nah i’m just gonna eat them instead and then puke everywhere bc i shouldn’t be eating and then do it again

you ever just wake up so fucking horny for food you’re like mmmmmmm toasty beans and soup

wait no i just dissociated for like a day i can’t stop crying now 🤪

i want to feel something but i am feeling nothing at all. my head feels too quiet and my brain feels too empty. i wonder if i am as broken as the glass that litters the streets.

i wake up. i take my pills. i listen to your playlist in the car. i drive to work. i blink and hours have past. i go home. i kiss him and cook with him and sleep with him and i pretend. i pretend i’m not as lonely as i am.

this again who would’ve thunk lol it makes even less sense this time.

u ever just get that lil squeezy ouch in your chest that just fuckin Hurts

smthg abt nick just makes me so happy he is very caring and good at listening and makes me feel like i am important even if he doesn’t really try to. talked to him last night abt stuff that was bothering me and then just held me until i slept for the first time in like. several days. and even if he didn’t know who ande was he still recognized something was off and tried to talk to her. also also bro is like 18-19 do not know how to feel abt that but he talks very uhhhhhh. mature ???? idk the word for it but he acts around my age. idk if i am making it up bc of bpd stuff but i feel mildly special to him? like i knew who he was before even he told me but then he also told me first so like idk. and cuddles. and he petted my hair. and he let me be stupid and emotional over dumb stuff and did not judge me. and he did not freak out when he said i liked him a little teeny tiny bit. idk i just feel happy around him.