Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?
alternatives to “i want to die”:
i want things to change
i want a different life
today was a shitty day/week
i don’t want to live like this
i want to be somewhere else in life
i’m not where i want to be yet
+ much more
i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things
i want to shake many young women and say you can grow in private. and what i mean by that is that you don’t have to publicly self-flagellate when you don’t know something or when you say something a little insensitive or whatever else. you don’t have to report your Bad Thoughts and Ignorance to the crowd who waits to judge you. you do not have to pay penance. you do not have to issue public statements. nothing more is gained from burying yourself in shame than you could gain by thinking “oh i don’t know about this” and looking it up real quick, or thinking “hm, that wasn’t how i want to behave, i’ll do different next time” and then moving on with your life. no need to choke yourself with it.
Yes. Have YOU considered that sometimes working on hard things is both necessary and worthwhile?
How can I find it in myself to care about the small joys when there's so many atrocities happening in the world?
There is space for both. Feeling joy does not take away from mindfulness of greater issues. In fact, it is critical to engage with the lighter side of things, otherwise you'll lose touch with what you're fighting for. You'll burn out. The world will not be saved by how much collective mindspace we give to atrocities. It will be saved by how many of us can get up and fight another day.
I know it's not easy to convince your brain of this, the things you think about aren't so easily controlled. But if giving space to the bad is preventing you from enjoying the good, it might be a good idea to step back a bit. Do something with your hands, talk to a friend, try something new. Disengage with worry as best as you can, and give yourself permission to do so. It is not a guilty pleasure; you are not harming anyone by taking a breather. And there are plenty of us filling in while you rest.
Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.
I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.
As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.
Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.
IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.
Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.
This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.
Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.
this is a poster i made for my call to action assignment in humanities! it's a bunch of basic and easy stretches for people who sit and work at a desk all day (me)
the idea is that you'd put the poster up above ur desk and do the stretches every 30 minutes or so,, the whole routine won't take more than about 6 minutes to complete and when done regularly it can prevent wrist, shoulder, neck and back pain! :)
all these stretches can be done while sitting (although i HIGHLY recommend you stand up and move around while taking a break from working)
you can get a free digital copy of this poster here on my gumroad!
I know a lot of people often think about grounding as something that's reserved for panic attacks or things like that, but grounding can be good for almost any overwhelming emotion. It can be good to just center yourself. Even if you aren't feeling stressed, if you're up to it, take a moment and do this. This is still good to do when you're perfectly calm because this allows you to practice so that it will be easier to remember when you're stressed. (I don't recommend waiting until you're stressed to try a grounding exercise for the first time.)
We're going to look at the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Feel free to do this in your head, write it down somewhere private or share your answers in the replies, tags or reblogs.
Step 1 - Start with breathing if you can. Breathe in to the count of five, hold it for five seconds, and breathe out to the count of five. (If five is too long, feel free to adjust this to four.)
Step 2 - What are 5 things you can see around you? Examples: the clock on the wall, a plant on the windowsil, etc.
Step 3 - What are 4 things around you that you can touch? If you're up to it, also touch them and think about what they feel like (soft, hard, rough, etc). Examples: Maybe it's the blanket on your bed, maybe you're sitting on a chair, etc.
Step 4 - What are 3 things around you that you can hear? Examples: Maybe it's your cat purring, the fridge running, maybe there are birds outside, etc.
Step 5 - What are 2 things around you that you can smell? If you are not in an environment where you can smell something, feel free to move somewhere that you can or even bring a scent to the space (like body spray, body lotion, etc).
Step 6 - What is 1 thing you can taste? I find that people sometimes get frustrated with this one because if you haven't recently brushed your teeth or eaten, taste isn't easily identifiable. As an alternative if you don't currently taste something, what is is something you like to taste?
Step 7 - Take one final deep breath, counting to five as you breathe in, holding for five seconds, and then counting to five as you breathe out.
Step 8 - Take a moment to be proud of yourself. You did it and made it through this! If you can, try and put this aside to try and do once a day so that it may come to you easier in a time you need it.
a big lesson for me was learning that most things are not as fragile as I’d believed. missing a class, or turning in a bad assignment, won’t instantly destroy your professor’s opinion of you. accidentally saying something harsh won’t make your friend want to end the friendship. it takes work to repair these things - it takes effort and research and sometimes a sincere apology - but you can do that because they’re not irreparably broken. what you’ve worked to build, in academia and in relationships and in life, is stronger and more enduring that your mind may teach you to believe. don’t let imagined fragility lead you to giving up
tumblr wisdom, refs, advice, guides this blog exists for me to refer back to |main @kit-kat-kake
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