I know a lot of people often think about grounding as something that's reserved for panic attacks or things like that, but grounding can be good for almost any overwhelming emotion. It can be good to just center yourself. Even if you aren't feeling stressed, if you're up to it, take a moment and do this. This is still good to do when you're perfectly calm because this allows you to practice so that it will be easier to remember when you're stressed. (I don't recommend waiting until you're stressed to try a grounding exercise for the first time.)
We're going to look at the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Feel free to do this in your head, write it down somewhere private or share your answers in the replies, tags or reblogs.
Step 1 - Start with breathing if you can. Breathe in to the count of five, hold it for five seconds, and breathe out to the count of five. (If five is too long, feel free to adjust this to four.)
Step 2 - What are 5 things you can see around you? Examples: the clock on the wall, a plant on the windowsil, etc.
Step 3 - What are 4 things around you that you can touch? If you're up to it, also touch them and think about what they feel like (soft, hard, rough, etc). Examples: Maybe it's the blanket on your bed, maybe you're sitting on a chair, etc.
Step 4 - What are 3 things around you that you can hear? Examples: Maybe it's your cat purring, the fridge running, maybe there are birds outside, etc.
Step 5 - What are 2 things around you that you can smell? If you are not in an environment where you can smell something, feel free to move somewhere that you can or even bring a scent to the space (like body spray, body lotion, etc).
Step 6 - What is 1 thing you can taste? I find that people sometimes get frustrated with this one because if you haven't recently brushed your teeth or eaten, taste isn't easily identifiable. As an alternative if you don't currently taste something, what is is something you like to taste?
Step 7 - Take one final deep breath, counting to five as you breathe in, holding for five seconds, and then counting to five as you breathe out.
Step 8 - Take a moment to be proud of yourself. You did it and made it through this! If you can, try and put this aside to try and do once a day so that it may come to you easier in a time you need it.
not to be a hedonist but. pleasure IS the whole point, my loves. we are made for pleasure. humans have not survived out of spite or sheer grit or simply to make more humans. we live for pleasure. the pleasure of licking the last delicious crumbs off your fingers and feeling sunlight on your skin and massaging a loved one's shoulders. we're made to fill our bellies with delicious food, to nap in soft grass, to touch each other in joy and comfort.
there is no shame or guilt in our bodies doing what they were made to do. and we are made for pleasure.
I feel like some people need to relearn Genre Expectations... "Man, this tragedy sucks!!! Why didn't they just do XYZ, then everything could have ended happily!!" well, then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it. "Man, this lighthearted teen romcom is terrible, it's so sappy and unrealistic!!" Well, yeah. If it had been gritty and dark, it wouldn't have been a lighthearted romcom, would it. Is the writing actually bad or are you just trying to order a milkshake from a Home Depot
I'd like to ask for some help from any intersex followers I have (or any intersex folks who come across this post!)
I've been struggling a lot to find proper terminology for intersex issues in my research because Google is all gunked up and Tumblr is just as hard to parse through.
So, if anyone could point me in the direction of any good literature by intersex authors or any good online resources (especially that define terminology) that would be incredibly helpful!! I'm still doing work myself but any sort of direction would be wonderful!
(tl;dr I want to be a better ally to intersex folks in trans feminist conversations about sex/gender and approach my own theory with intersex experiences in mind better! So, any and all resources would be appreciated!)
Doing things you like is not a waste of time. Watching series, playing video games, listening to podcasts, being creative etc. If it makes you happy, it doesn't matter that you're not productive during that time, what matters is that you are enjoying yourself, generating happiness. Those are the BEST moments. Chilling, relaxing, having fun. Don't let people guilt you into not enjoying the best parts of your day.
reminder that not all coping mechanisms are healthy and shouldn’t be excused as helpful simply because they are coping mechanisms.
Hey, take it from someone creeping towards 40:
Ignore the fun police.
If you like it, order your steak well done. Get your bagel toasted with jam and butter. Put ice in your scotch and ketchup on your hotdog. Get red wine with fish and white with steak. Who cares?
If you want to, listen to pop music. Watch blockbuster popcorn flicks. Read dime store novels. Enjoy them.
Dye your hair or cut it off. Paint your fingernails blue. Wear whatever the fuck you want on your own time (ie, when not at a job or school or whatever where you can get penalized for breaking rules) as long as you aren’t like welding or shoveling snow.
Anyone who tries to tell you you’re wrong? Say “okay” and go back to what you were doing. You’re not hurting them by enjoying yourself or having things the way you like them.
There are no caveats or addendums to this. No “but what about x?” Nah. You’re allowed the things you like. You don’t have to justify your taste or apologize for it if it’s not hurting anyone.
And likewise, let other people live their lives. We’re all dead in the long run, so tend your own garden before you become fertilizer in it.
I realise there is only so much advice you can follow. Ultimately, you have to live. That means making mistakes. You can’t go through life expecting that wise words will be enough. Sometimes you have to suffer to learn the lesson.
Truth is you will never go back to your old self, life is about redefining and relearning to live with all versions of yourself
It's not rest if you are spending it feeling guilty for not being productive. It's not rest if the whole time you feel ashamed for not doing chores. This is how you burn yourself out. You're allowed to relax and do nothing.
today i got locked out of watching youtube videos entirely on adblock grounds, so i did some tinkering.
ublock does not, in fact, seem to circumvent this, but i did find out something new through circumstance as well as trial and error:
bf told me two bits of information that turned out to be rather useful. 1) he hasn't really gotten the youtube adblock notifications much. 2) his work laptop blocks youtube cookies completely. (this annoys him a bit because a couple quality of life features function off cookies)
so when i was trying to troubleshoot how to wrangle youtube into letting me listen to music without constantly throwing intrusive as hell ads at me, i decided to block youtube cookies just to see what would happen.
well wouldn't you know, it has stopped complaining about ads being blocked entirely. for now anyway.
TL;DR: looks like youtube is using cookies to check for adblockers, so blocking them seems to cause it to leave you alone.
tumblr wisdom, refs, advice, guides this blog exists for me to refer back to |main @kit-kat-kake
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