I Miss Something So Much But I Don't Know What It Is, It's Been Eating At Me. What Is It That I Miss

I hate that man, he could do so many things to make it all right but I'll always hate that man. I wanna free you from him, but I don't know how to. I wanna free myself from you both I don't know how to. I don't wanna hurt you, but I don't know how to. I know you don't wanna hurt me, and I know you can't help it either. Amma we might have been doomed since we were born in this body, in this flesh, among these men. We are always gonna want to save each other and maybe, maybe we never will. I'm sorry I'm the reason you are crying right now, I'm sorry I'm another bad thing to you. I'm sorry I'm not your saviour and I'm sorry you are just as bad as others.

what is it about you that i love so much

the thing with fleabag is how she has no one. like I get she might have her sister or something like that but when she wants to, like at times weirdly she reaches out, she tries and even then. just. she's let down. there's no one who would choose her, even the guy she loved, truly. didn't choose her. he loved her, yes but he didn't choose her. her loneliness hit me so much. these days I feel so lonely. awfully lonely. i am so so alone. i think i speak with a bunch of people on a normal basis, everyday, here n there but none of them, idk how to say this but none of them are ANYONE. im not anyone to them either. i feel bad I do have friends, but i don't either. i actually don't. i have people but I don't. i am in so much trouble rn, everytime I think about it I want to take a knife and stab myself, right there in my throat. at least back then i think when I had shit going on, after months of crying alone I finally had someone to speak with but these days i dont. who will I even go to. literally who? people around me and yet absolutely no one. i have never felt this alone in my entire life than I do at this moment. i am so scared of a lot of things, I don't have hope I don't have people. the loneliness is suffocating me. if i don't stab myself in my throat, the loneliness will grab me by the neck and choke me until I'm grasping for breath and stop breathing. it's so devastating that even in death im gonna die alone and by myself. idk if Tumblr will report this n take it down

need to make an emotional support bts playlist soon, the one i had is missing lmfao

i am only now realising how i am actually NOT a neurotypical, and it's so fucking hard being here. this is the worst place to be at if you are not a perfect human being lol. there's not an ounce of empathy, no understanding. it's so hard being a human here. i want to go home. never thought i could miss that place, but here im literally in tears while i write this. even when i get invalidated it wasnt THIS bad lol

there's an end to the loneliness, right? it ends, eventually? and i'll be finally whole inside?

i hate it here, like always thought no place hell like home but LMAOOO they are proving me wrong here.

please don't speak or be friendly with anyone. please don't let yourself loose again. please just focus on yourself. please don't think anyone's your family. please don't play the savior, when you yourself can't get out of your own hell. please be selfish. please please be selfish. i beg you. please just focus on yourself. don't for any chance speak about yourself, don't give yourself to anyone here anymore. enough. just a year. we'll get out of here. we can. we'll do it. everything will be okay.

Aslan Jade Callenreese you are safe now, I'll be happy with that

you are not here to prove. you are here to take, then run away. don't care. never mind. never fucking mind. just take and go. just go forward. stop thinking for fucks sake. stop arguing. there's no point. this not the place to fight for, you have other places that you have to, but not here. be a fake ass you dumb fuck