Lily walked as briskly as she could to the library, her shoes making slight scuff marks on the floor. She quickly entered the library and started browsing through the shelves, not having any particular book in mind. Then it hit her.
She walked up to Madam Pince and asked, "Can I have a copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, please?"
Madam Pince nodded curtly and disappeared behind a long row of dusty bookshelves, leaving Lily to stand awkwardly by herself. Five minutes later the librarian appeared again, this time clutching a large and dusty book. Lily nodded gratefully and sat down at a table to read. Ah, to be able to sit in the library was a miracle in itself, with its quiet atmosphere and shelves filled with books waiting to be read —
"All right there, Evans?"
Lily put the book down and groaned. She buried her head in her hands. "Go away, Potter," she mumbled. "I am not in the mood to talk to you."
"What did I do?" James asked innocently, throwing his hands up in the air. "Here I am, minding my own business, just trying to check out a book, and you suddenly decide to just verbally attack me!"
"I did not!" Lily yelled hotly, forgetting the fact that she was in the library.
Madam Pince glared at both of them. "Shhh!" she said, raising her finger to her lips.
Lily sent Madam Pince an apologetic glance before saying curtly, "Go away, Potter."
To Lily's dismay, however, James took a seat at her table, a charismatic grin on his face. "You can't get rid of me that easily," he said with a cocky grin.
"Stop bothering me!" Lily hissed in frustration. "I just want to read!"
"Why, though?" James asked casually, leaning back in his chair. One of the legs of the chair was tipping precariously. Half of Lily hoped he would fall, but the other half didn't.
"Why what?" Lily said.
"Why do you read so much? It's a beautiful day; go outside!"
"You sound like my mum, Potter."
"Wouldn't you rather call me 'Daddy?'" he asked with a sly grin on his face.
"No," Lily said dully, not realizing the true meaning behind his words at first. When she did, however, she smacked him on the arm. "You're a real arse, Potter."
"Why yes," James said with a sly grin on his face. "My arse is quite real."
"Yeah, real stupid."
James chose to ignore this. "So, Evans," he said with a grin, casually propping his chin up with his hands. "Will you go out with me?"
"No," Lily answered firmly.
"Why?"
"I said no. Honestly, you'd think you would have gotten used to this answer by now."
"Why?"
"Because, Potter, I don't think it's a good idea," Lily said, exasperated.
"Why?"
"Because. . . because. . . I already have a boyfriend!" Lily invented wildly.
"Oh really?" James asked placidly, raising his eyebrow. "What's his name?"
"Richard. . . Richard Murphy!" Lily lied, her fingers crossed under the table. She had gotten the name from one of her childhood Muggle friends.
James raised an eyebrow. "Richard? You mean the one from Ravenclaw?"
"Wha — yeah!" Lily said, seizing the excuse with relief. "Yes! The one from Ravenclaw!"
"Oh. Well, he's right there," James said, pointing to a nearby table at which a sixth-year Ravenclaw was reading. "Go talk to him."
Lily blanched, but the choices were clear: it was either embarrassing herself in front of a random Ravenclaw, or admitting to James that she had lied to him. So Lily gathered up all her courage, stood up, and walked to the table where 'Richard Murphy' was studying at. She sat down at the table.
“Hi," she said with a friendly smile, aware that James was still watching her. "How's it going?"
The Ravenclaw looked up from his book with a slightly annoyed expression. "Do I know you?"
Lily was aware that James was laughing at her from the other table. "No," Lily muttered, embarrassed. "I just wanted to say hi."
The Ravenclaw returned to his book as Lily picked up her books and left the table, red-faced. Why did I think that would work?
"So," James said, smirking, "did you have a good time with Richard? Was he nice?"
Lily groaned and put her head in her hands. "I detest you, Potter."
James grinned. "I know." His expression then became unfathomable. "Why did you lie to me about having a boyfriend?"
"Because, Potter," Lily said, annoyed, "I don't want to go out with you, and I wasn't sure how else to get you to stop asking me."
"Fine. And I'll be generous and forgive your lie if you will be kind enough to forgive my lie," James said.
Lily was confused. "What's your lie?"
James pointed at the Ravenclaw reading in the corner. "That boy's name is David."
Lily's mouth dropped open. James leaned back, smirking.
"I win," he said smugly.
Lily had to resist the urge to scream. "I hate you, Potter!" she hissed.
"Why?"
"Because you made me look like a bloody fool!"
"No, I'm pretty sure you did that on your own."
Lily laughed involuntarily, then shoved James. "Shut up, Potter. I'm supposed to be mad at you."
"You could never stay mad at me," James said innocently, fluttering his eyelashes.
"Yes, I can."
"I'm going somewhere where my presence is appreciated," James said in a heavy voice, standing up. Lily thought she saw a small trace of a smile on his face before he left. She returned to her book, grinning for no absolute reason.
My dumbass: Woah wish we could have seen how that whole shrieking shack prank in the movie
Remus, the night before leaving for Hogwarts:
James and Sirius:
what's a crackship that you wrote/read ab and now genuinely ship on otp level? mine's harry/tonks HAHAHAA
OKAY WAIT.
THIS FEELS TARGETED BC I JUST STARTED SHIPPING REGULUS/JAMES, AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT.
Okay first of all: Regulames Blotter? LOOOOL
Second: the fics for this ship are so good?? Pls write more of these bc now all I can imagine is the power couple James and Regulus would be.
All of the Marauders in a car, absolutely wankered because “oh sure people are not supposed to drive drunk - it said nothing about WIZARDS driving drunk!” Of course they're pulled over and when the officer reaches the car there's a huge fucking stag at the wheel, a wolf-dog in the back with a rat sat on its head and a furious Remus Lupin in the passenger seat. "I can't - *sigh* - I really can't explain this."
Don’t worry, Nearly-Headless Nick is not forgotten I will incorporate his headlessness sometime into my sobfest
Wanna Join?
oh my god y’all in honor of christmas why don’t we just collectively imagine our deer james turning into a stag and wearing a red nose while pretending to be rudolph for harry
Snape: Potter.
James: Snape.
Sirius: Sirius.
James: Okay, you just said your own name, mate.
Sirius: It was the only one left!