Dazai: Please Don't Tell Anyone But I Think I'm A Little Bit In Love With Chuuya.

Dazai: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Chuuya: Wow. They sound stupid.

Dazai: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Chuuya: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… "Hey! I love you!"

Dazai: I guess you’re right. Hey Chuuya, I love you.

Chuuya: See! Just say that!

Dazia: Holy fucking shit.

Chuuya: If that flies over their head then, sorry mackerel, but they're too dumb for you.

Dazai:

Dazai: You're wearing make-up???

Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Dazai:

Dazai: No it looks stupid...

*some moments later*

Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!

Odasaku: I know.

Dazai: I'm so gay...

Odasaku: *sighs* I know...

Dazai: I’m in love with you.

Chuuya, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?

Dazai: Everyone.

Chuuya: …What?

Dazai: I told everyone I’m in love with you.

*married skk au where Chuuya is an ada member and he and Dazai brought their child to work*

Dazai: Chibi, we know where the serial killer is. Me and Kunikida will go arrest him. I need you to take the baby.

Chuuya: No, you need to take the baby. I have to go right now.

Dazai: So what do we do???

Chuuya: I guess we can call that creepy babysitter we interviewed this morning.

Dazai: Turned out that babysitter is the serial killer we are looking for.

Chuuya, yelling: Even better! Two birds, one stone. We bring him to you!

Dazai, yelling: We're not giving our baby to a serial killer!

Dazai, stumbling in through the window of Chuuya's room with a broken red rose in his mouth:

Chuuya, startled: What the fuck are you doing?

Dazai, falling on the floor: I’m trying to be romantic, shut up.

Chuuya: I hate you!

Dazai's head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words...

Yosano: Hey, Dazai, who's your favorite singer or band?

Dazai: I don't really have one.

Yosano: Oh c'mon pretty boy, everyone has one.

Kunikida: It's propably arctic monkeys.

Dazai: Fine. If you really wanna know that bad...it's taylor swift.

Yosano: Who? Gotta speak up.

Dazai: Taylor Swift.

Ranpo: HAH, I KNEW IT! YOU ALL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS.

Dazai: When I was 15 I googled "two men kissing" on Mori's computer and when he asked me why that was in his search bar, I said "Idk, you tell me"

Dazai: and it worked.

Dazai, about Chuuya: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to get fucked by a short ginger.

Ango: 🤦‍♂️

Odasaku: Please stop talking.

Chuuya: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird about it?

Kouyou: Come on, when have I ever been? Go on, tell me!

Chuuya: Well, Dazai--

Kouyou: You can do better!

Chuuya: