mackerel22
♡ incorrect bungo stray dogs quotes ♡ {https://mackerel22.carrd.co}
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Latest Posts by mackerel22
Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?
Dazai: A master and his dog?
Chuuya:
Chuuya: NO.
Chuuya: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Dazai: What? Don't worry about that.
Chuuya: *smiling* Hmm?
Dazai: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Chuuya: *contemplating murder*
Dazai: We're finally getting along. It's been 24 hours since the last time we fought. Isn't that great?
Chuuya: No, it isn't. We complete the missions faster when we're fighting.
Dazai: Quick then, say something annoying!
Chuuya: Osamu, I'm in love with you.
Dazai: I'm sorry, what? Since when?
Chuuya: Idk, it just happened.
Dazai: How? You think I'm annoying.
Chuuya: You are.
Dazai:
Chuuya: It's one of your most endearing qualities.
Dazai, who had a sex dream about Chuuya: Drunk ppl do tons of things they don't normally do when their sleeping, like snore and have really weird dreams.
Dazai: Like sex dreams but it doesn't even matter cause dreams don't mean anything.
Chuuya, who also had a sex dream about Dazai: You're right. They don't mean anyhting. You can have a sex dream about someone you're repulsed by irl.
Dazai: Yes, yes exactly. Thank you, Chuuya.
Dazai: You could have a sex dream about, like, me.
Chuuya: But I didn't.
Chuuya: And if I had it would be a sex nightmare cause I hate you.
Dazai: And I hate you too, thank you.
Chuuya: Thank you for inviting me to mackerel's wedding today, Kouyou.
Kouyou: Yeah no problem.
Chuuya: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Dazai marrying?
Kouyou: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Dazai!
Chuuya: Wait, what?
Mori: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.
Kouyou: For a week! No, a month!
Hirotsu: Here’s some money, make it two!
Dazai, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?
Dazai: Please don't tell anyone but I think I'm a little bit in love with Chuuya.
Atsushi, who genuinely believed the two of them had been married for the past 7 years: ???
Atsushi: Oh.
Dazai, about Chuuya: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to get fucked by a short ginger.
Ango: 🤦♂️
Odasaku: Please stop talking.
About me:
♠️Here I post incorrect quotes from bsd.
♠️For my bsd fanarts check out my insta:
@mackerel.art
https://www.instagram.com/mackerel.art?igsh=MWI0YW5hZGd0dWxxeg==
♠️For my bsd playlists check out me youtube and spotify channel:
Youtube:
Spotify:
♠️ And if you want to buy my art as printed posters, my vinted:
Dazai, trying to impress Chuuya: I'm great in sex. I've lost count how many times I've done it.
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Masturbation does not count as having sex.
A random drunk girl trying to pick Dazai up at a bar: I've never even kissed a guy.
Dazai, staring intently at Chuuya across the room, chin propped up on his hand: Me neither~
Fyodor: You're dead for that!
Dazai: Do it...
Dazai: Pussy.
Fyodor: I will enjoy this.
Chuuya, getting in the way: Hey, Elsa!
Chuuya: Get your icy hands off my bottom, bitch!
Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D
Kyouka: But you're already old.
Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Dazai: And loud!
Dazai: And grumpy!
Dazai: And short!
Dazai: And oblivious to reality!
Chuuya:
*ada!Chuuya au*
Atsushi: I can't tell whether Chuuya joining the ada was a good thing or not...
Atsushi: Because on one hand, I have much less paperwork to do, and Dazai seems much happier and more stable.
Atsushi: On the other hand-
Dazai, through the office door: Fuck yes Chuuya, there, there!
Atsushi: That.
*some years later*
Dazai: Atsushi, Akutagawa...
Atsushi and Akutagawa: Yes, Dazai.
Dazai: About the rumour...
Atsushi, Akutagawa: What rumour?
Dazai: Poetry.
Atsushi, Akutagawa:
Dazai: It's not what everybody thinks it is.
Akutagawa: I'm afraid explaining any further while in your partner's bed will only make matters worse, Mrs. Nakahara.
Dazai: Did you just call me Mrs. Nakahara?
Atsushi: It's best if you get used to it sooner than later.
Dazai:
Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?
Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?
Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?
Dazai: It's perfectly fine.
Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.
Chuuya: We...
Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.
Akutagawa: Poetry?
Dazai:
Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.
Akutagawa:
Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.
Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...
Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*
Chuuya: When I have a crush I don't kick my feet or twirl my hair. Chuuya: Instead I am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just can't crack.
Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?
Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?
Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?
Dazai: It's perfectly fine.
Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.
Chuuya: We...
Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.
Akutagawa: Poetry?
Dazai:
Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.
Akutagawa:
Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.
Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...
Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*
Dazai, walking up to look at a dead body: Okay, first of all, big mood.
Dazai, whispering to Chuuya's ear during a pm meeting: I'm sure that no one here has as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya: WTF?
Dazai: Sorry, I misspoke. I meant no one here is as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Sure...
Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
Dazai: I love you 🥰.
Chuuya: Why should I believe you? All the guys I've dated were dogs.
Dazai:
Chuuya: Well, aren't you gonna say anything?
Dazai:
Dazai: Meow...
Dazai: I dare you to marry me.
Chuuya: No. I'm not falling for that idiot.
Dazai: Then I win.
Chuuya: What? No you don’t. I’ll marry the hell out of you. You’re officially my wife now. You can’t beat me like that.
Dazai: I want my vagina shaved ladies.
Chuuya: Then shave your vagina, Dazai.
Dazai, pulling out an engagement ring: Got it a week after we first met.
Chuuya:
Chuuya, also pulling out a ring: Got it yesterday.
Dazai: *on the phone* Hey, Chuuya~
Dazai: Do you know my blood type?
Chuuya: Of course, its AB.
Dazai: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-
Atsushi: Dazai, have you ever thought of getting married ?
Dazai: *gay panic* I'm pregnant!
ada: What?
Dazai: It's Chuuya's.
ada: WHAT?
*meanwhile in the pm*
Chuuya, feeling a disturbance in the force: He said something that will get me into trouble, I can feel it!
Dazai: Babe!
Chuuya: Don’t call me that!
Dazai: Chibi, honey, dear, love, sunshine, slug-
Chuuya: Dazai-
Dazai: Darling, hat rack, sweetheart, my God of fire-
Chuuya: Dazai no-
Dazai: Mi amore, the light of my life, my chihuahua, my doggie, my baby, angel, baby boy, baby girl-
Dazai: My petit mafia, shortie, sweetie-
Chuuya: Are you done?
Dazai: My beloved, the best executive, the anchor of my universe, the loml, my other half, my soulmate..
Chuuya:
Dazai: Ok, now I’m done.
Chuuya: Ok what did you want?
Dazai:
Dazai: Oh I forgot.
Stormbringer!Dazai: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Chuuya speed-run the five stages of grief as he realises that he still wants to do yaoi stuff with me.
Chuuya: what the fuck are you looking at?
Dazai, on the inside: You’re so beautiful and I'm so in love with every part of you. The curve of your mouth when you laugh while you're having a good fight. How you stand leaning on your side with your hands in your pocket. The way your hair shines like the sun and how you always blush when I get too close. I’m so lucky to have you. You are the greatest person I’ve ever met and I will never regret meeting you. I would find you and love you in every lifetime.
Dazai, out loud: You got shorter.