WHY IS EVERYOJE SUDDENKY NON STOP TALKIJG ABOUT FOOD SHUT THR FUCK UP I BEG OF YOU

Man I took 15+ laxatives last night and it has barely effected me, I fear I have developed a tolerance smh 😔

I’ve done almost everything to debloat today if I don’t wake up at least a kilo lighter i genuinely may go jump in front of a bus

I’m so tired, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Managed to shoot all the way from 50.7kg to 51.5 overnight, I feel so discouraged. I’m never binging again.

Ive lost all my thoughts

I thought I’d grown immune to laxatives but nahhh they just waited to hit at the same time

I’m switching up one of my meals and oh my god I’m shaking I’m so stressed because it’s not pre packaged and I don’t have a food scale at the moment so I’ll have to estimate/use other more unreliable measuring tools and I’ve never had it before so it might be ass but it’s so expensive and I’d feel bad for wasting it AHHHHH

I’m never going to recover, it’s too late now. I’m just gonna be stuck in a binge restrict cycle for the rest of my life, I know it.

First day back restricting after a 3 day binge bender, and I plan to liquid fast for as long as possible. I don’t even know how to feel, I feel different and weird. I feel fat, I am fat, I’ve undoubtedly gained back up into the low 50kgs.

I’m so hungry but also I don’t want to eat, but also I want to eat everything but the thought of eating anything makes me feel sick. God I regret binging, I was doing so well then I had to go and fuck it up for myself and now everything feels 10x harder. I feel so lazy, it’s 3pm and I haven’t even gotten 10k steps yet.

Hopefully my mindset returns back to how it was before, and the hunger goes away.

The guilt is eating me alive, knowing that it was my decision to binge, to keep eating despite knowing I shouldn’t, I didn’t have too, no one would have even truly batted an eye if I hadn’t of.

Now it feels like I can’t stop eating, I’m not even hungry my brain just won’t stop thinking about it.

I hate myself so much.