Secret Technique: Public Urinal No Jutsu

i think the old-fashioned top-loading washers and dryers make love but these new electronic ones only fuck.

the herds of machines in laundromats are merely cattle and can’t comprehend the warmth of a lovers arms.

laundromat vending machines like holding hands.

“it’s not about you and me. it’s about us” i say to the tailgating F150 behind me as i stomp on the brakes.

posts like this make my glad i can read

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

can we play tag???

me, shortly before lunging for the officers service weapon: what’s up cracker *slaps ass*

how do they decide who gets aux at airports?

the italian grandma seems to be arguing in favour of packing as light as possible and so the conversation has turned to a detailed discussion of optimizing the folding of laundry

currently listening to an irate italian grandma rant to her friends about trip planning while i take the scotrail from inverness to aviemore

mewed so hard i threw up

how it feels to have a relaxing midweek walk through a field outside ur job in the foothills

if either of u r on birth control when u fuckin that’s just practicing for a baby