When University Makes You Read Ancient Roman Smut...this Is The Life

*clings onto you and gives you lotsa smoochies all over*

whoever likes or reblogs this or simply DMs me, you have given me permission to lay and cuddle on you and cling

@practicalkim hm? 👉👈

last night my girlfriend told me she wants to buy me lots of outfits and to force me to wear them. why arent more of you like this? disappointing.

Was out with a friend today we were both flirting and joking with each other amd she told me to "shut up" so of course I said "make me" and she grabbed my neck right there in hot topic... then she just walked away 🥲

God I wish she choked me harder

Hair of the Dog, great album

A cute transfem should come over listen to 70s rock with me we do so on Vinyl or however you prefer and make out and kiss or something

loving mommy patting your head with her soft hand

This is the shit I got to tumblr for. Unhinged transfems telling the funniest shit there is, hell yeah

when i was in the hospital after bottom surgery, they had a catheter in me because can't pee, and that thing burned like reagan in hell, so they tried a couple medications to help, and the second they tried they warned me would turn my pee a bright orange, and i have a a kink for having unethical experiments performed on me, so i eagerly said yes, and it worked! i felt much better, and after a little bit my really hot nurse that i think had flirted with me earlier when taking my vitals (which i was on so many drugs that he probably wasn't, but that didn't stop me from trying to flirt back by saying "i LOVE ice water~" really sexy when he brought me some) drained the catheter bag into a clear jar and held it up and the morning light hit it just right and it lit the room up orange and i said "ooo... the forbidden fanta...." and now every time i drink fanta i think about piss but that's okay because i'm into that

I do be...

Reblog if you're a perverted woman with dubious motives

“The Breather” by Billy Collins

*sending virtual cuddles to my fellow girlies*

they need to invent a way for trans girls to cuddle each other over the internet