Happy New Years, Heres A Contribution

I'm not sure if I have ADHD but this post took my by the hair and threw me into the void

7 most adhd moods

–the Only Mood everyone else knows about: i  wanna do THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and–SQUIRREL

–galaxy brain: i was listening to the lecture but the prof said something that reminded me of something else and now i’m not sure how much time i was lost in thought

–the tutorial only comes in video format: i’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove *hurls product & its tutorial video into the sun*

–damn you hyperfocus: i went to bed intending to wake up and write but this morning i was possessed by a cleanliness spirit and spent the next 14 hours organizing the apartment

–i dont think u tried at all.jpg: did i seriously spend an entire free day refreshing twitter b/c i didn’t want to spend 10 minutes finishing my hw but wouldn’t let myself do anything else until i finished it???? (yes)

–patrick star: *unlocks phone* time to check the weather. *opens twitter* the weather. *opens messenger* the weather. *opens mobage game* the weather. *opens facebook* the weather. *opens twitter again* THE WEA–

–smells like depression: literally everything is too boring. i’m going back to sleep

If my cat were here, I'd ask him what a landmark is.

All the gays right now

What a guy actually means when he says he's bouta take a nap:

N - naturally

A - ascending

P - penor

Had a dream where my cats started multiplying. Like I go upstairs, my cat Arrow's in the bathroom. I look over, Arrow's in my doorway. I look back, there are 2 Arrows in my bathroom. My other cat Marigold gets involved. They begin covering every floor surface. I figure it's a hallucination as Arrows begin stacking on top of each other. All in the same lying position, all staring at me was calm, fearless eyes, making me feel nothing.

I go downstairs again and get my parents.

Me: okay so my parents just yelled at me for not doing my homework so I gotta g

My brain: You should make little name tags for your succulents

Me, using tape as lamination in case the paper gets wet: God damn it Jeffrey

You know that feeling when you go to a hotel pool and you jump in and let out enough air so that you don't float up and you just sit at the bottom and sit and the water feels like weighted air? Yeah it be like that sometimes.

Did anyone else experience this? Tell me if I'm not alone

Okay so when I was 7-8, I saved up enough money to buy a custom American girl named Tia. Mostly bc my mom wanted to sew doll clothes, and so did I. Also because I was still in a cutesy, girly phase.

Not too long after, we start getting random letters in the mail from someone. She said her name was Jett, and she was Tia's older sister. She hadn't been bought yet, and she was touring the US as like, a traveling store or something.

It was so weird. It was like Toys logic, except some people were allowed to see them? Most of the letters I got were actually kind of horrific now that I'm reading some. In this one a guy named Bruce holds Jett over an alligator, so they sneak out and just wreck his boat. In another one one of the dolls wanders out into the night (I think that was Yellowstone) and doesn't ever come back.

But like, she bought legitimate things too? The t-rex tooth was from La Brea tar pits. There was probably more, but I haven't found them yet.

It stopped after a bit, so I guess she was bought. But was this normal? Was that a random guy from the factory who stumbled on our address, or did I have a random sugar sister? Was it actually the dolls?!?

This is how shit feels lately

I may have just failed the most recent test but one thing I'm definitely learning from my semester in zoology is that if you ever need inspiration for a grotesque, terrifying monster, just look at random diagrams and go ham.

Also that female parasitic worms do indeed have vaginas.